Hearts

I've also done the whole "try to just be normal" thing and failed miserably. I think it's that whole, "You can do anything you want if you really TRY" motto. It simply does not apply here. It's like jumping off a cliff and flapping your arms really fast because you really WANT to fly.

Levitz

It just plain sucks.
I tried many times......always did fine for awhile.....
But next thing I know it's 4 am and I just jolted awake,.... anxiety, feel like crap, hey, time for a drink. The best part is when it's a sunny morning and you wake up still drunk. Man,
You just feel so go about yourself
Kinda like drinking some more to turn off my feelings about how this happened again.
Yep, I know.....total HELL really.
Do whatever it takes to Stop

gaffo

The longer I don't drink the better it feels. There was never any "normal" in my drinking, ever. It's a shame that it took me 30 years to figure that out. Now I am proud to say that I am a recovering alcoholic.

waynetheking

Hey easy if you're drinking in the morning then that means your not eating well. Normal drinkers don't do that. You and the rest of us here at sr have a different body chemistry than normal drinkers. We can't stop drinking when we start. So be it. You have to quit entirely. If you continue you will destroy your health and possibly die from excessive alcohol consumption. Surrender and acceptance are valuable keys to long term sobriety. "Total abstinence is easier to maintain than perfect moderation"...just stop drinking my friend. Life is better without booze.

gvrecovery

I didn't know it at the time, but my drinking was abnormal the first time I took a drink as a young teenager. I cannot even consider moderation drinking, it's either sobriety or oblivion.

karate

That's a great post ,Thanks for reminding me how bad that was .

I had forgot about that .

LadyBlue0527

Hi easyrider. My husband and I are doing well but on the verge of what could be the end of our marriage because of an addiction. We have been together for 15 years and I love him to the ends of the earth no matter what we've been through. Right now I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he's following through and doing what it is that he's telling me. He has a problem but it's not with alcohol, this doesn't matter because addiction is addiction. What would bond and strengthen our marriage forever is if he would just speak the words "I am addicted and I need help". I told him that if he would just admit it that we would be on solid ground and I would do anything he needed me to do in order to help him or just to be here for him so that he can help himself. For now I have to trust that he's being honest with me.

You're questioning how to tell your wife that you're drinking in the morning again. If you're truly ready to do this and to end the madness sit her down and be honest with her. Ask for her help. I don't know the whole background of what you've been through together because of this addiction. It might help if you not only tell her that you're back to drinking in the morning but that you don't want to lose her and want her to help you to work on this. I think she'll appreciate the honesty, it's much better than lying and shows that you want this to change. Hiding it and lying about it won't help, she will eventually figure it out. I'd be more worried about that then worried about what she says if you're honest.

falseemperor

For example, i cant be normal drinker, because im over of limits. If i drink 2 beers, just like water so i hawe to drink at last 15. So i cant drink normally. Better to stay away. For example this limit 30 beers for james hetfield as himself told to someone.

Crossfitdad

What I don't understand that if some can be successful in moderating for a month, why can't they do it forever? I imagine even moderate drinkers get drunk sometimes, right? I'm not trying to make excuses for myself or the probably poster. But if a person drinks moderately for a month and gets drunk one night...does that indicate a failure? I'm sure the morning drink can't be a good thing though.

easyrider73

Thanks for all the replies. I would have replied back sooner but being in the drunk slumber I could not find this thread I started till today. Pretty sad huh?

Coldfusion

Do you have any ideas on what to do today for recovery?

Hope2014

Easy rider,
Just put the beer down the drain and accept that like a lot of us, moderation is not an option. Once that clicked for me I knew what I had to do. Start again at day 1 but knowing that it will get better. You can do it

easyrider73

I know I can do it, I've quit many many times before. I just can't believe I did it again. I'm so ashamed of myself right now it ain't funny.

bmwcycle

You can not but the poop back into the mule!!

It is already in the past and taking away from your future. Don't worry about what you did, focus on what you are going to do.

Why do you want to drink what you call "normally"? What would you be gaining if you achieve this goal?

Wishing you well and I hope you get what you are looking for,

LadyBlue0527

easyrider, there are only 6 words in that post that are necessary

You can do this, get rid of all the negative emotions and stop feeding the AV. Dump the alcohol and get back on the bike. You CAN do this. You have a heck of a lot of support here too.

Nuudawn

Take it easy..Easy
"...don't let the sound of your own wheels make you craaaaazzz-y".

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I have quit a number of times before...and here I am quitting again...on Day 6.
I chalked up almost 5 months here last year.
But I apparently have a problem with alcohol..
and I failed...
Cuz that's what we do.
BUT shame has no place in your effort to try again. I'm trying to heave it off my shoulders too ..but it's my lack of self worth/and shame that got me in this mess to begin with.

You're trying...I'm trying...and sooner or later we are going to get this right. It is VALIANT to try again. It's the only way we are going to make it..
By picking self up, dusting self off..and trying again.

Am I embarrassed and disappointed in myself. Yuuuuuuup.
But we both gotta find the good in admitting we stumbled...as any of us can...and just doing it again.

AlexThedude

I find that if I go on a bender, it's not long before I'm drunk all day every day... just don't drink is my suggestion.

2muchpain

Had three years of sobriety once, decided it would be nice to have just one beer with lunch. And I did just have one beer. By the end of the week, I was back to where I started. No fun. Tried moderation several more times, with the same results (thick skull). If I pick up now, I KNOW where I'll be in a few days. No BS anymore.
You tried moderation. It something we all need do at least once. But we always end up in the same place, 1 drink and were screwed. Get into a program that works for you. Find support and stay very busy. Good Luck!!