Bluebird1927

Did 41 days with relative ease, longest I've been for fifteen years. Only drunk five times all year so getting there just can't nail total sobriety.

Wedding was my down fall this time. Bit apprehensive as I'm only a few days sober and another wedding in two weeks.

doggonecarl

Here's a thought...unless it's you getting married, don't go.

findingout

It is also 100 percent OK to attend the actual wedding ceremony but pass on the reception where the alcohol is served. I did that twice in early recovery.

Gottalife

I have heard that marriage can drive a man to drink, but weddings?

The reason I drank in such circumstances had nothing to do with external events. It was because I was suffering from untreated alcoholism and I had no effective defence against the first drink. Sure I could stop, for days or even weeks at a time, but I could not stay stopped.

"But there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.

In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be."

Dee74

Until I put my recovery first, I never got anywhere Bluebird.

If you really want to get sober and stay that way, then you need to make some real changes, I think.

D

Sudz No More

I just was out to dinner yesterday for Mother's day, almost everyone at the table ordered something alcoholic. I ordered a coke and thought nothing of it, you just need to get yourself to point where drinking alcohol is not something you are inclined to do. You can do the wedding and even toast, just clink the glass, and then quick drink your water along with everyone else's champagne sip. It's not as hard as it sounds, no one really is paying that much attention. Then just stay the heck away from the bar, have a friend or your date grab you a coke if you are that uncomfortable approaching the bar.

The sooner you get yourself into the mindset that alcohol is no longer a part of your life the sooner you can begin to heal.

ronf

Bluebird, you've heard of slippery places? For me it is anyplace with booze and a loud level of noise, music, etc. The last wedding I went to was a real bugger!! Free food, free booze, and LOUD music. I had about 13 yrs sober at the time but that was no defense. I knew what to expect before I went so my wife and I made a plan to deal with it and it worked! I spent most of the evening in the lobby reading a book and going outside to smoke. My wife would come out and check on me every half hour or so and that calmed me down. The moral of the story is you need to admit this is going to hard for you to do. The best plan is to not go. If you can't do that then you need someone you can confide in to go with you. Let them help! It may be a struggle but the next morning you'll be so glad you didn't drink!! The next day treat your self to a big ass brunch and a snooze on the couch.

Ron

Bluebird1927

Thanks for all your replies, I really appreciate them all.

Not going isn't an option. It's a close friend of fourteen years. Doing the reception and then shooting off before the party is what I'll have to do.

As someone mentioned no one will realise that I'm not drinking and even if they do they'll get on with their night regardless. I tend to drink to please others I think, I've got to remember who I'm doing it for.

Sorry I can't reply individually as I'm on my mobile but I appreciate every reply