Quitting help....
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Originally Posted by newpatti 
I just want to cheer you on, Cheese, for taking that scary step & calling the doc. Have you thought about finding a meeting near you? Perhaps meeting some real life folks at different places in the same journey would be a great help.
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Day 1: it's been 14 hours since my last drink. started medical detox about 6.5 hours ago. woke up after sleeping for about 2 hours. feeling totally fine withdrawals wise which makes me feel a lot less anxious. i'm strangely thirsty and hungry? i have had no appetite for months now, so that is a nice feeling.
It is amazing though how i have no desire is to drink, and how little i miss the prospect of ever drinking again. Before when i sobered up in my mind i was pretty skeptical about not ever drinking again. rewind to before i got sober last time and i was in serious denial that i had a problem, and i quit when i suddenly realized how bad it had gotten and that i did have a problem. i mean i couldn't deny the crazy my life had become. i thought, well yes, sure, i have a problem but only because i've been drinking with wild abandon, i didn't know any better, and it was my then-husbands fault and my work is terrible and excuse excuse excuse. That time, i said i wouldn't drink again because everyone said i shouldn't, every text, every doctor, everyone who had been there. but i didn't mean it. and i didn't mean it. look at where i am now.
This time feels different. a lot different. i mean it. the fear i've felt over the last few months trying to stop this run away freight train has shifted my perspective greatly. i had no problem telling a friend that i quit drinking last night. he said, "wow when did you quit?" ..."today" i said. Previously it was 'oh i'm just taking a break' to friends (obviously the ones that don't know) Well, i'm not 'taking a break' any more.. and i really don't think i'll survive if there is ever a next time. I said last time if i started up again it would be bad, but i said it because everyone told me it would be bad, not because i actually thought it would be bad. Although it wasn't bad at first, it got bad. real bad.
at any rate i'm going to some meetings tomorrow, it has been a couple years since i've been to any. i need the social support and i need camaraderie and i need to dust off the cobwebs.
i just wanted to share where i'm at right now and thank everyone who helped point me in the right direction to get medical help. hopefully i'll be able to get some more sleep but wanted to share my first thoughts on this first day of sobriety.
It is amazing though how i have no desire is to drink, and how little i miss the prospect of ever drinking again. Before when i sobered up in my mind i was pretty skeptical about not ever drinking again. rewind to before i got sober last time and i was in serious denial that i had a problem, and i quit when i suddenly realized how bad it had gotten and that i did have a problem. i mean i couldn't deny the crazy my life had become. i thought, well yes, sure, i have a problem but only because i've been drinking with wild abandon, i didn't know any better, and it was my then-husbands fault and my work is terrible and excuse excuse excuse. That time, i said i wouldn't drink again because everyone said i shouldn't, every text, every doctor, everyone who had been there. but i didn't mean it. and i didn't mean it. look at where i am now.
This time feels different. a lot different. i mean it. the fear i've felt over the last few months trying to stop this run away freight train has shifted my perspective greatly. i had no problem telling a friend that i quit drinking last night. he said, "wow when did you quit?" ..."today" i said. Previously it was 'oh i'm just taking a break' to friends (obviously the ones that don't know) Well, i'm not 'taking a break' any more.. and i really don't think i'll survive if there is ever a next time. I said last time if i started up again it would be bad, but i said it because everyone told me it would be bad, not because i actually thought it would be bad. Although it wasn't bad at first, it got bad. real bad.
at any rate i'm going to some meetings tomorrow, it has been a couple years since i've been to any. i need the social support and i need camaraderie and i need to dust off the cobwebs.
i just wanted to share where i'm at right now and thank everyone who helped point me in the right direction to get medical help. hopefully i'll be able to get some more sleep but wanted to share my first thoughts on this first day of sobriety.
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Ah, Cheese, your excuses sound just like mine! I was "coping with all the drinkers/users in my family", but of course *I* wasn't one of THEM. it's only been 2 weeks sober for me, but several years of denial before that :-). I want this to be a sustainable journey....so that one I start to feel 'in control' again, that I will not fall back to old patterns.
Hope your Saturday is fabulous!
Hope your Saturday is fabulous!
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Originally Posted by newpatti
Ah, Cheese, your excuses sound just like mine! I was "coping with all the drinkers/users in my family", but of course *I* wasn't one of THEM. it's only been 2 weeks sober for me, but several years of denial before that :-). I want this to be a sustainable journey....so that one I start to feel 'in control' again, that I will not fall back to old patterns.
Hope your Saturday is fabulous!
Hope your Saturday is fabulous!
the denial part still baffles me.. I remember thinking I didn't have a problem at all..like what?! Making new patterns is good I feel like I hit crisis mode and that cut the old pattern right up. I know the next couple weeks will be hard but I just can never go back to living how i was.. It wasn't even living, it was hanging on by a thread everyday..so awful
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Originally Posted by falseemperor
Think about your family gf wife child. Alcohol or their happyness wich one important?
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25 hours in.. I am feeling weak and tired.. At least my heart isn't racing and I'm not shaking. Zero cravings, zero zero zero.. I almost can't believe it, last time I was obsessed with reminiscing...this time I have no rosy memories. At all.
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Aw shucks thanks everyone...... I feel stronger every hour.. 42 hours in... Decided to go get breakfast, I've never remembered enjoying orange juice and coffee so much.. Wow withdrawal symptoms seem to be totally gone.. Although I'm still on edge they could hit me at any moment.. After a week of pure hell feeling withdrawals everyday while still drinking this is like being reborn. Or at least feels like not-dying.. Not-dying is good.. Going to hit another meeting in an hour.. I was mortified to go to a meeting last night and my co-worker was there..he gave me a hug small world.. Ok, off to face the day
withdrawal symptoms seem to be totally gone.. Although I'm still on edge they could hit me at any moment.. After a week of pure hell feeling withdrawals everyday while still drinking this is like being reborn. Or at least feels like not-dying.. Not-dying is good.. Going to hit another meeting in an hour.. I was mortified to go to a meeting last night and my co-worker was there..he gave me a hug small world.. Ok, off to face the day Join Date: Aug 2011
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I am so excited for you Cheese! I understand that feeling of the switch flipping. I knew I was done too. That's not to say that hard times won't come...they will because that is the very nature of life and can't (and shouldn't) be avoided. But...the inner calm that comes with knowing that you never have to be in that hell of addiction again, makes even the hard stuff in life just a little but easier. The excitement and newness about life you feel right now never has to go away!
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Originally Posted by soberlicious
I am so excited for you Cheese! I understand that feeling of the switch flipping. I knew I was done too. That's not to say that hard times won't come...they will because that is the very nature of life and can't (and shouldn't) be avoided. But...the inner calm that comes with knowing that you never have to be in that hell of addiction again, makes even the hard stuff in life just a little but easier. The excitement and newness about life you feel right now never has to go away!
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Originally Posted by CheeseQ
Aw shucks thanks everyone...... I feel stronger every hour.. 42 hours in... Decided to go get breakfast, I've never remembered enjoying orange juice and coffee so much.. Wow withdrawal symptoms seem to be totally gone.. Although I'm still on edge they could hit me at any moment.. After a week of pure hell feeling withdrawals everyday while still drinking this is like being reborn. Or at least feels like not-dying.. Not-dying is good.. Going to hit another meeting in an hour.. I was mortified to go to a meeting last night and my co-worker was there..he gave me a hug small world.. Ok, off to face the day
withdrawal symptoms seem to be totally gone.. Although I'm still on edge they could hit me at any moment.. After a week of pure hell feeling withdrawals everyday while still drinking this is like being reborn. Or at least feels like not-dying.. Not-dying is good.. Going to hit another meeting in an hour.. I was mortified to go to a meeting last night and my co-worker was there..he gave me a hug small world.. Ok, off to face the day Are to stop the withdrawal symptoms .
That's the entire idea , of the meds .
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