freshstart57

43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."

Warhawk

Jeni, I had to re-read your post to be sure I didn't write it. I've been struggling with someone at work. I'm coming up on an anniversary (1 year on the 21st) and I've been having those flashes of "just one ice cold beer on a warm afternoon".
It's all silliness. I know I need to quit taking my co-worker's inventory. I know that my anniversary isn't the end of my journey. I know that one beer would send me into a tailspin.
I'm not ready to throw away all my progress, though.
You're not alone.

Jeni26

Don't do it Warhawk...

I've really settled down now. I spent the day working on and off to clear some of the paperwork I might not have time to do tomorrow. I've re-directed my thoughts onto more healthy things rather than obsessing on him. I've cooked dinner for my family, spent time with my daughter and talked with someone who has just contacted me out of the blue and asked me to help her through the steps. I've stopped projecting on what might happen at work tomorrow because I decided I really didn't want to spoil today.

I am me. He is him. I've no right to start taking his inventory. What I will do is, if I run out of time and start falling behind with my own stuff, go to my boss and ask for some time out of school to catch up.

I've stopped thinking about drinking. We had a friend over last night who got drunk. He was no problem, but as I looked at him I realised how far away I am from that lifestyle now, and I don't ever want to go back.

Warhawk...I would suggest going to do something for someone else...it has really helped me today. I was cooking dinner and talking to this woman on the phone at the same time...and I had no time to get my knickers into a twist about this guy at work.

I will do my stuff...be kind to him...but make it clear I am not able to do 2 jobs simultaneously. Tomorrow is going to be stressful, but nothing worth drinking over. Nothing is worth that.

Be strong

MidnightBlue

Hi, Jeni)

I think I felt something like that when approached one year milestone.

Maybe, there's something about "milestones" - like New Year, Birthdays, etc. We are summing up our life, what we have done and what not. And at that point panic shows up.

You know, May used to be my absolutely favorite month. Weather is warm, but not hot. Air is fresh and mild. Trees are blooming. We have all the summer ahead. My birthday in in May...

Somehow I caught up myself in the though that I've come to...hate it. Like my life is never good enough for me to have a right to enjoy this. Birthday? Just another remembering that I am growing older and what I haven't accomplished...

What's the point of all this I've written? Milestone is just a milestone. A mark that is showing you are moving in the right direction. That you are not lost. That the challenging adventurous road is between these milestones. I think..

Keep going, my friend. You are awesome)

Warhawk

Yeah, Jeni, I've moved on too. I'm taking the family to church this evening and plan on praying for those who disturb me. My sponsor and I talk about that all the time. It "humanizes" them and makes it less likely for me to judge someone who I pray for.
I normally ask God to give them all the good stuff I want for myself in life...Peace, serenity, good health, good finances, forgiveness, healing, etc...
One Day At A Time, right?

Jeni26

Absolutely x

hypochondriac

I have always been wobbly around anniversaries too Jeni. And anger has always been a big trigger for me. You've done well to recognise the addictive thinking but there is a lot going on here so don't worry that it isn't all sorted and easily fixed. I think it takes a few more years for our brains to be properly rewired so that we don't always think about reaching for the bottle when things are going wrong. For me I always found I made things problematic so I had something to be angry at, I still do this but it is really hard to recognise and even harder to stop doing. The thing people have been saying about praying for those you're angry at makes sense though. I did that recently on the pure basis that holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. It was doing more damage to me than them so I decided to be nice to them and I noticed that my anger didn't bubble away as long as it usually does. Getting angry at this guy is bad for you. Good for you would be to set clear boundaries with him. I won't pretend to know how to lower expectations of people or how to have good relationships at work because as you know my own work life is a mess. But all we can do is look after number one and our sobriety day by day. Don't pick up other people's problems. Love you xxx

Mountainmanbob

not sure
but
I drank twice just two weeks short of 3 years of sobriety
as I look back I see where I was weak in my Program both times

good time for you to Program up -- I think ??

MM

LadyBlue0527

Hi Jeni, first of all I bow to you on your time, you give me hope, I'm coming up on one year.

You said

Heck, someone who never had a drinking problem would not be appreciative of having extra work to do just because someone else is lazy. Some of the girls I work with have to deal with this on a daily basis because of a third girl and believe me, sometimes earplugs would be nice. Neither one of them have issues with alcohol. Being angry isn't reserved for us who do have problems, where our mind goes is the difference. That could be due to the anniversary coming up. Even still, you have a right to be mad.

dbrunton

Hey all! Now into my fifth month of sobriety. Feels like it's getting a little easier. However a friend of mine told me that now is time to be extra vigilant. I want to know, does it get easier?

Dee74

If it didn't get easier not many of us would still be here posting dbrunton
I think, yes, it gets easier

D

Jeni26

Yes, it does get easier, and life gets better. This is the first time I've thought about alcohol in this way for over a year...when I was first sober I thought about it all day every day.

Please don't be put off by my sharing this. I worry that people new to sobriety might read and wonder if it's worth it. Well it is, my life is enriched in ways that were unimaginable to me when I was drinking.

But I'm still an alcoholic..I still need to focus on those things about me that cause me to react in this way. And I still need support sometimes. Just not as much or for as long.

Keep going...life is too short to be wasting drunk or hungover. Best wishes to you

LadyBlue0527

Perfectly put!

Tamerua

I recently had thoughts of drinking and it really shook me because I hadn't had those thoughts since the beginning. I journaled about it and talked about it here and with friends and the best thing, that power that alcohol had was taken away.

Congrats on your two years!