Interesting comparison of lifestyle activities aiding in my healing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 114
Interesting comparison of lifestyle activities aiding in my healing.
Well I'm winding up day 3 here of sobriety and I got to thinking about living my life without alcohol as a "pal", an "activity" or "adventure". And bam....it hit me. Fifteen years ago I got big into motorcycles, the motorcycle lifestyle and traveling. My x wife and I made tons of "friends" or so I thought. We rode just about every weekend with several other couples to eat or enjoy the outdoors. We also took at least two, one week long traveling motorcycle vacations a year with these so called "friends". Many of us became very close. Then when my wife and I divorced several years later or course that broke some of the group up. I get that. But when I sold my motorcycle a year after the divorce it seemed 80% of those I rode with no longer called me, no longer seemed to care. It was as if the motorcycle was truly the only common bond that really mattered. It took me a long time to get over that. But when I look back now I think, they weren't really my "friends" after all, they were "riding buddies".
So what I"m realizing here to tell others as well as myself is this: If when you give up alcohol do NOT worry if people will give up on you as what you imagine or assume as a friend. If they do give up on you they are nothing but the "drinking buddy" that really just are there to use you to comfort their own selfish needs. It is so very true that in reality you can count the amount of true friends that care and truly love you on the fingers of one hand. I don't need someone that only wants me around because I share and comfort them as a fellow alcoholic. I want someone that still cares and calls when I give up the alcohol or the motorcycle. To me it's no different. I got over the hurt of people disappearing when I sold the motorcycle, so I can sure as heck do the same if people quit calling because I gave up alcohol. I'm standing up for myself and true "friends" will follow.
Wow, what a revelation this sober mind discovered today!!
So what I"m realizing here to tell others as well as myself is this: If when you give up alcohol do NOT worry if people will give up on you as what you imagine or assume as a friend. If they do give up on you they are nothing but the "drinking buddy" that really just are there to use you to comfort their own selfish needs. It is so very true that in reality you can count the amount of true friends that care and truly love you on the fingers of one hand. I don't need someone that only wants me around because I share and comfort them as a fellow alcoholic. I want someone that still cares and calls when I give up the alcohol or the motorcycle. To me it's no different. I got over the hurt of people disappearing when I sold the motorcycle, so I can sure as heck do the same if people quit calling because I gave up alcohol. I'm standing up for myself and true "friends" will follow.
Wow, what a revelation this sober mind discovered today!!
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 41
very well said!! thanks for that!! im going through day 5 and its amazing how true the comment you said about the sober mind !! this quote keeps popping into my mind since the cloud has lifted and some confidence is back!!
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous or sober
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of what or who you belive in!!
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the greatness inside of us all
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
*edited a bit to suit the masses
but how true does that ring!! for me anyways!!
it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous or sober
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of what or who you belive in!!
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest the greatness inside of us all
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
*edited a bit to suit the masses
but how true does that ring!! for me anyways!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
That's great insight. Decide your own reality and how you interact with conditions you are not in control of. Be content and happy for their own sake. What lies outside you is nothing compared to what resides within you.
I had a thought today which lit that warm flame inside. I could feel resentments rising about people who I perceive as doing me some sort of injustice and I thought, hey wait on, that's their problem not mine, I don't have to react or respond in typical fashion. It dawned on me that every time someone pushed my buttons it's an opportunity for me to practice principles like tolerance, acceptance, humility and forgiveness. What a treat!
Write your own story.
I had a thought today which lit that warm flame inside. I could feel resentments rising about people who I perceive as doing me some sort of injustice and I thought, hey wait on, that's their problem not mine, I don't have to react or respond in typical fashion. It dawned on me that every time someone pushed my buttons it's an opportunity for me to practice principles like tolerance, acceptance, humility and forgiveness. What a treat!
Write your own story.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
Day 4 ,GREAT .
Yes another hobby is a good idea .
We are getting into buying and selling non -running things of all kinds .
We get them running and sell them ,Doing good so far .
Most farmers are good mechanics ,-poor farmers like us anyhow
Yes another hobby is a good idea .
We are getting into buying and selling non -running things of all kinds .
We get them running and sell them ,Doing good so far .
Most farmers are good mechanics ,-poor farmers like us anyhow
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
My friends ,seem to not mind -or care if a drink a beer with them .
I guess it helps ,almost all my friends are older ,and most already quit .
When you get close to 50 , Most of your friends already figured out drinking heavy does not work .
I guess it helps ,almost all my friends are older ,and most already quit .
When you get close to 50 , Most of your friends already figured out drinking heavy does not work .
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