How many just don't admit the problem?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Originally Posted by Raider 
I drank every night for a lot of years. I didn't consider this a problem and my friends drank with me. It wasn't until I was retired a few years that I thought something was wrong. I didn't bury my head...I acknowledged that I drank a ton but still had a successful career, like everyone I hung around.
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by GracieLou
It took me 26 years so I try real hard not to judge others. I see when others have a problem and are still justifying or rationalizing and there is nothing I can do but pray for them.
The admission that one has a problem has to come from themselves and even then that does not mean they will get help. I called myself a functioning alcoholic up to the point I was barely functioning.
Some never get to that point. It is sad but do is help if I can and pray when I can't.
The admission that one has a problem has to come from themselves and even then that does not mean they will get help. I called myself a functioning alcoholic up to the point I was barely functioning.
Some never get to that point. It is sad but do is help if I can and pray when I can't.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Ahhhh, the elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about. We see it, it's right there, can't miss it! As long as we ignore it we don't have to do anything about it. That's why people don't want to admit it. No problem no action required.
I am in the throes of watching an addict using this reasoning. I am amazed at the similarity and how addiction = addiction = addiction. Doesn't matter the drug of choice.
I'm working very hard to salvage 15 years of my life but don't know how much longer I can take it. The only saving grace is that my husband put up with a lot and stayed with me during my elephant in the room phase. I can't predict the outcome but I can say that (and I know this is going to sound weird) it's interesting to observe an addict that has a different drug of choice and realize that it really doesn't matter, it's all the same.
1. Looking up the normal amount of times that X drug should be used as a comparison and as a backup in an argument about said addiction.
2. Working on doing the above only that amount of times per week (aka moderation). Laughed at this one when I was told.
3. Creating tension to establish a resentment so that the guilt of using the drug of choice could be justified. I was famous for this one before I got sober. It's interesting to observe it being done.
4. Displaying anger at always being questioned about said addiction.
5. Admitting seriously trying to stop (or moderate) in order to save a relationship but avoiding the words "I have a problem" or "I'm addicted". Can't say that! To say that would make it all too real.
6. Now doing the equivalent of what would be me quitting drinking beer but drinking wine or hard stuff instead because I was told I couldn't drink any more beer. In other words, since the words "I can't stand it when you drink beer" were used that as long as I stay away from beer I'm ok. I know for a fact that he's using this as a reasoning tool. His addiction is not alcohol by the way. This is just the equivalent.
There are more but I've learned one thing for sure. An addict can't fool an addict. We know the game, we've played it well.
The issue is not that you don't realize that you have a problem. It's knowing that you do but being unwilling to admit it. That's the problem.
I am in the throes of watching an addict using this reasoning. I am amazed at the similarity and how addiction = addiction = addiction. Doesn't matter the drug of choice.
I'm working very hard to salvage 15 years of my life but don't know how much longer I can take it. The only saving grace is that my husband put up with a lot and stayed with me during my elephant in the room phase. I can't predict the outcome but I can say that (and I know this is going to sound weird) it's interesting to observe an addict that has a different drug of choice and realize that it really doesn't matter, it's all the same.
1. Looking up the normal amount of times that X drug should be used as a comparison and as a backup in an argument about said addiction.
2. Working on doing the above only that amount of times per week (aka moderation). Laughed at this one when I was told.
3. Creating tension to establish a resentment so that the guilt of using the drug of choice could be justified. I was famous for this one before I got sober. It's interesting to observe it being done.
4. Displaying anger at always being questioned about said addiction.
5. Admitting seriously trying to stop (or moderate) in order to save a relationship but avoiding the words "I have a problem" or "I'm addicted". Can't say that! To say that would make it all too real.
6. Now doing the equivalent of what would be me quitting drinking beer but drinking wine or hard stuff instead because I was told I couldn't drink any more beer. In other words, since the words "I can't stand it when you drink beer" were used that as long as I stay away from beer I'm ok. I know for a fact that he's using this as a reasoning tool. His addiction is not alcohol by the way. This is just the equivalent.
There are more but I've learned one thing for sure. An addict can't fool an addict. We know the game, we've played it well.
The issue is not that you don't realize that you have a problem. It's knowing that you do but being unwilling to admit it. That's the problem.
Stand and Be True
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 120
I'm around them almost every single day.
I would like to think that my sobriety would allow others to see that they too can stop and live better lives, but I'm under no illusions...as we all know - people only change if they WANT to change.
All I can do is know that I would give them all the help and support in the world should they ask for it.
I would like to think that my sobriety would allow others to see that they too can stop and live better lives, but I'm under no illusions...as we all know - people only change if they WANT to change.
All I can do is know that I would give them all the help and support in the world should they ask for it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2,805
There are four members of my family that I know have alcohol problems but who are in complete denial.
I think I knew I had a problem by the age of 18, but I felt weak not being able to control it. I was so good at so many other things in my life, that I just felt like I should be able to get a handle on "normal drinking" as well. It took me until age 42 to realize that I can get a handle on my drinking - Quit.
I had thought of quitting at other times but that overwhelming fear we addicts get at the thought of never drinking again would overtake me. That is when my rationalizations that I wasn't as bad as so and so, that the other night I did only drink "two" etc. etc. would come in.
Alcoholism . . . . I hate it.
I think I knew I had a problem by the age of 18, but I felt weak not being able to control it. I was so good at so many other things in my life, that I just felt like I should be able to get a handle on "normal drinking" as well. It took me until age 42 to realize that I can get a handle on my drinking - Quit.
I had thought of quitting at other times but that overwhelming fear we addicts get at the thought of never drinking again would overtake me. That is when my rationalizations that I wasn't as bad as so and so, that the other night I did only drink "two" etc. etc. would come in.
Alcoholism . . . . I hate it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
I think the people with the problem ,have a chemical imbalance in their brains .
alochol hits the exact receptors in my brain ,makes me feel good when im tired .
Some researchers suggest ,alcohol turns lose serotonin ,and other "feel good "
hormones in the brain .
I would suggest the alcohol has a different effect on us ,Or to a greater extent than the general population .
The allergy theory ,in the big book ,is very valid -imo
However when the logic part of the brain is numbed by alcohol , we decide if 2 beers make me feel good ,then 12 is 6 times as good -FAIL
And yes ,im still doing research as my new obsession . Actually an old long -term obsession
However I have found research ,not to impair my ability to drive a car ,or ineract with other humans .
Also have noticed research ,not to cause hangovers .
alochol hits the exact receptors in my brain ,makes me feel good when im tired .
Some researchers suggest ,alcohol turns lose serotonin ,and other "feel good "
hormones in the brain .
I would suggest the alcohol has a different effect on us ,Or to a greater extent than the general population .
The allergy theory ,in the big book ,is very valid -imo
However when the logic part of the brain is numbed by alcohol , we decide if 2 beers make me feel good ,then 12 is 6 times as good -FAIL
And yes ,im still doing research as my new obsession . Actually an old long -term obsession
However I have found research ,not to impair my ability to drive a car ,or ineract with other humans .
Also have noticed research ,not to cause hangovers .
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 705
I knew for years that I did not drink normally and that I had a "problem." I always said, "well, I fully plan on quitting or moderating when I get my job."
It was not until the time came and I tried to do so and failed miserably that I suddenly realized, I don't just have a bit of a problem, I am a ******* alcoholic!!
Never had a hard time admitting it, doing something about it, however, has been another story...
It was not until the time came and I tried to do so and failed miserably that I suddenly realized, I don't just have a bit of a problem, I am a ******* alcoholic!!
Never had a hard time admitting it, doing something about it, however, has been another story...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
Originally Posted by babycat
I knew for years that I did not drink normally and that I had a "problem." I always said, "well, I fully plan on quitting or moderating when I get my job."
It was not until the time came and I tried to do so and failed miserably that I suddenly realized, I don't just have a bit of a problem, I am a ******* alcoholic!!
Never had a hard time admitting it, doing something about it, however, has been another story...
It was not until the time came and I tried to do so and failed miserably that I suddenly realized, I don't just have a bit of a problem, I am a ******* alcoholic!!
Never had a hard time admitting it, doing something about it, however, has been another story...
Indeed , but armed with knowledge .
I never go as far back in the hole .
The awakening happens ,before the suffering really gets started ,now
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Well, alcohol worked for me for a couple of decades. It was the only thing that consistently helped me quiet my mind. But eventually it didn't work as well and the cost of use became too high. I stopped and found healthier ways to quiet my mind and live comfortably in my skin. Anyway, there was never any denial that I used alcohol in an unhealthy manner.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Webster, NY
Posts: 9
Years ago when my sister said I had a problem, I said no.
Next phase I knew I was an alcoholic but functionally fine, no problem
Phase 3: 40 ys of drinking, I have stopped before I kill myself.
It has only been 9 days and tuff but I cannot go back
Next phase I knew I was an alcoholic but functionally fine, no problem
Phase 3: 40 ys of drinking, I have stopped before I kill myself.
It has only been 9 days and tuff but I cannot go back
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 61
I honestly believe a lot of people do know they have a problem with alcohol but dont know how to deal with it or simply dont want to deal with it.
Ive known for years that i have a drink problem but only until recently have I actually done something about it.
Ive known for years that i have a drink problem but only until recently have I actually done something about it.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London
Posts: 1,384
Originally Posted by lillyknitting
I stopped coz I couldn't stand the pain any more. I know loads of boozers who would never, ever consider giving up their poison and just accept the downside as all part of it!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
