I will never judge again...
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
I will never judge again...
Just a little catch up on my story-I was a High Functioning (umm errr "Not Yet") alcoholic for many years--i quit in April 2010 for two years. Then started back up. Yuk.
Anyway, stopped again April this year.
I know I have posted on this topic before--have to repeat it so you see where I'm coming from--I was dx with C-PTSD end January over a trauma in the fall that just sent me into severe panic and anxiety. I have never taken RX (hate them)-- was radically against them. Then I was put on an SSRI and a Benzo, very low dose, and they helped. (benzo only for 3 months until the SSRI kicks in) I changed my view on RX--seeing how it IS necessary.
fast forward 2.5 months--this week.
I arrived in Breckenridge this past Saturday to visit my son. I left the Benzo at home, thinking I wouldn't need it (no triggers away from home?). By Tuesday morning, I was shaking like a leaf, could not eat, totally mentally confused, couldn't breath, and was having muscle "shocks" all throughout the night--like someone was electrocuting my whole body and dropping it. I thought it was alkolosis as a result of high altitude. I couldn't drive, sleep, or even read or write.
At the grocery store check out, I planned to ask the checker if they carried oxygen to relieve the symptoms. I was shaking so bad, my skin and nose so dry, I looked like a cocaine addict coming down. (this is how I felt, as well) My eyes kept tearing up and I couldn't figure out how to get my money out of my wallet to pay her. I told her "Im from Houston and this altitude is really getting to me..." She rolled her eyes. As I walked away, I heard her say to the person behind me "can you BELIEVE that?"
Yes friends, she thought I was on drugs.
Lesson learned-I can't tell you how many times I have pointed out people to my husband that had similar symptoms and said "see, that person is on Meth, crack, coke"-- whatever. Now, it was my turn to be judged.
Anyway I went to the ER yesterday as I was told my symptoms of alkolosis could kill me if not treated- if fluid got into my lungs, bad deal.
Well. The doctor looked at me, my symptoms, and my RX history. and within a second said I was in Benzo withdrawal (exacerbated by the high climate)
Folks I almost died. Those little muscle shocks were mini seizures. I had not idea such a small dose over a short time could DO that, I wasn't abusing them in any way!
It's been long enough on the benzo, IMHO --I am sticking with the SSRI and weening off the benzo as planned.
Moral to the story---don't mess around with cold turkey from ANYTHING. And for me, just because someone is shaking, sniffing, confused, doesn't mean they are on drugs. Point taken.
Anyway, stopped again April this year.
I know I have posted on this topic before--have to repeat it so you see where I'm coming from--I was dx with C-PTSD end January over a trauma in the fall that just sent me into severe panic and anxiety. I have never taken RX (hate them)-- was radically against them. Then I was put on an SSRI and a Benzo, very low dose, and they helped. (benzo only for 3 months until the SSRI kicks in) I changed my view on RX--seeing how it IS necessary.
fast forward 2.5 months--this week.
I arrived in Breckenridge this past Saturday to visit my son. I left the Benzo at home, thinking I wouldn't need it (no triggers away from home?). By Tuesday morning, I was shaking like a leaf, could not eat, totally mentally confused, couldn't breath, and was having muscle "shocks" all throughout the night--like someone was electrocuting my whole body and dropping it. I thought it was alkolosis as a result of high altitude. I couldn't drive, sleep, or even read or write.
At the grocery store check out, I planned to ask the checker if they carried oxygen to relieve the symptoms. I was shaking so bad, my skin and nose so dry, I looked like a cocaine addict coming down. (this is how I felt, as well) My eyes kept tearing up and I couldn't figure out how to get my money out of my wallet to pay her. I told her "Im from Houston and this altitude is really getting to me..." She rolled her eyes. As I walked away, I heard her say to the person behind me "can you BELIEVE that?"
Yes friends, she thought I was on drugs.
Lesson learned-I can't tell you how many times I have pointed out people to my husband that had similar symptoms and said "see, that person is on Meth, crack, coke"-- whatever. Now, it was my turn to be judged.
Anyway I went to the ER yesterday as I was told my symptoms of alkolosis could kill me if not treated- if fluid got into my lungs, bad deal.
Well. The doctor looked at me, my symptoms, and my RX history. and within a second said I was in Benzo withdrawal (exacerbated by the high climate)
Folks I almost died. Those little muscle shocks were mini seizures. I had not idea such a small dose over a short time could DO that, I wasn't abusing them in any way!
It's been long enough on the benzo, IMHO --I am sticking with the SSRI and weening off the benzo as planned.
Moral to the story---don't mess around with cold turkey from ANYTHING. And for me, just because someone is shaking, sniffing, confused, doesn't mean they are on drugs. Point taken.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
I try not to judge people as well .
Although I have not mastered it ,as of yet .
Working on it ,a work in progress .
As an occasional anxiety attacks teaches me ,Im just not that darn smart ,strong ,or mentally tough.
Life keeps me humble ,I wish it were not necessary to be humbled as often as I get it .
I suspect ,if I try to remain humble ,the lessons will slow down .
All we can do is be the best we can be .
THANKS -GREAT POST
Although I have not mastered it ,as of yet .
Working on it ,a work in progress .
As an occasional anxiety attacks teaches me ,Im just not that darn smart ,strong ,or mentally tough.
Life keeps me humble ,I wish it were not necessary to be humbled as often as I get it .
I suspect ,if I try to remain humble ,the lessons will slow down .
All we can do is be the best we can be .
THANKS -GREAT POST
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 458
I dont know if they still do this- but in the 80s I was away and the pharmacy gave me a temporary supply of meds in an emergency. So- keep this in mind.
When I go away- I take everything med related with me.
I would rather have it and not need it- then to need it and not have it.
When I go away- I take everything med related with me.
I would rather have it and not need it- then to need it and not have it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Out in the Sticks
Posts: 1,788
Originally Posted by anykey 
I dont know if they still do this- but in the 80s I was away and the pharmacy gave me a temporary supply of meds in an emergency. So- keep this in mind.
When I go away- I take everything med related with me.
I would rather have it and not need it- then to need it and not have it.
When I go away- I take everything med related with me.
I would rather have it and not need it- then to need it and not have it.
Although I don't have many anxiety attacks now ,The Xanax goes where I go .
I feel better having it .
Better to have and not need it .
I normally carry a bottle ,until the pills are making a dust in the bottle .
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
I believe there is always a silver lining, and finding humility is something I received directly because of my drinking problem. My drinking made me "that drunk guy" I once looked at with contempt and derision.
And even though I've been on the receiving end of that same contempt, I still have to remind myself to be humble and less judgmental.
And even though I've been on the receiving end of that same contempt, I still have to remind myself to be humble and less judgmental.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
I don't know how many times I and others have commented on this, but I cannot comment on it enough. Abruptly discontinuing benzos and many other meds places the person in an extremely dangerous state of both mind and body. Same goes for alcohol without medical supervision. (I'm not here endorsing tapering.)
This is not directed at the OP, but making bold assertions about one's often irrational hatred for meds or the insistence that "I can do this on my own" relative to abruptly putting down the drink or the drug as a rationalization for not seeking help is just so much grandiose bluster and a bad example for people wrestling with a similar decision.
It's both dangerous and unnecessary to place ourselves in jeopardy by demonstrating time and again that we're not doctors.
This is not directed at the OP, but making bold assertions about one's often irrational hatred for meds or the insistence that "I can do this on my own" relative to abruptly putting down the drink or the drug as a rationalization for not seeking help is just so much grandiose bluster and a bad example for people wrestling with a similar decision.
It's both dangerous and unnecessary to place ourselves in jeopardy by demonstrating time and again that we're not doctors.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 476
Originally Posted by WritingFromLife
Just a little catch up on my story-I was a High Functioning (umm errr "Not Yet") alcoholic for many years--i quit in April 2010 for two years. Then started back up. Yuk.
Anyway, stopped again April this year.
I know I have posted on this topic before--have to repeat it so you see where I'm coming from--I was dx with C-PTSD end January over a trauma in the fall that just sent me into severe panic and anxiety. I have never taken RX (hate them)-- was radically against them. Then I was put on an SSRI and a Benzo, very low dose, and they helped. (benzo only for 3 months until the SSRI kicks in) I changed my view on RX--seeing how it IS necessary.
fast forward 2.5 months--this week.
I arrived in Breckenridge this past Saturday to visit my son. I left the Benzo at home, thinking I wouldn't need it (no triggers away from home?). By Tuesday morning, I was shaking like a leaf, could not eat, totally mentally confused, couldn't breath, and was having muscle "shocks" all throughout the night--like someone was electrocuting my whole body and dropping it. I thought it was alkolosis as a result of high altitude. I couldn't drive, sleep, or even read or write.
At the grocery store check out, I planned to ask the checker if they carried oxygen to relieve the symptoms. I was shaking so bad, my skin and nose so dry, I looked like a cocaine addict coming down. (this is how I felt, as well) My eyes kept tearing up and I couldn't figure out how to get my money out of my wallet to pay her. I told her "Im from Houston and this altitude is really getting to me..." She rolled her eyes. As I walked away, I heard her say to the person behind me "can you BELIEVE that?"
Yes friends, she thought I was on drugs.
Lesson learned-I can't tell you how many times I have pointed out people to my husband that had similar symptoms and said "see, that person is on Meth, crack, coke"-- whatever. Now, it was my turn to be judged.
Anyway I went to the ER yesterday as I was told my symptoms of alkolosis could kill me if not treated- if fluid got into my lungs, bad deal.
Well. The doctor looked at me, my symptoms, and my RX history. and within a second said I was in Benzo withdrawal (exacerbated by the high climate)
Folks I almost died. Those little muscle shocks were mini seizures. I had not idea such a small dose over a short time could DO that, I wasn't abusing them in any way!
It's been long enough on the benzo, IMHO --I am sticking with the SSRI and weening off the benzo as planned.
Moral to the story---don't mess around with cold turkey from ANYTHING. And for me, just because someone is shaking, sniffing, confused, doesn't mean they are on drugs. Point taken.
Anyway, stopped again April this year.
I know I have posted on this topic before--have to repeat it so you see where I'm coming from--I was dx with C-PTSD end January over a trauma in the fall that just sent me into severe panic and anxiety. I have never taken RX (hate them)-- was radically against them. Then I was put on an SSRI and a Benzo, very low dose, and they helped. (benzo only for 3 months until the SSRI kicks in) I changed my view on RX--seeing how it IS necessary.
fast forward 2.5 months--this week.
I arrived in Breckenridge this past Saturday to visit my son. I left the Benzo at home, thinking I wouldn't need it (no triggers away from home?). By Tuesday morning, I was shaking like a leaf, could not eat, totally mentally confused, couldn't breath, and was having muscle "shocks" all throughout the night--like someone was electrocuting my whole body and dropping it. I thought it was alkolosis as a result of high altitude. I couldn't drive, sleep, or even read or write.
At the grocery store check out, I planned to ask the checker if they carried oxygen to relieve the symptoms. I was shaking so bad, my skin and nose so dry, I looked like a cocaine addict coming down. (this is how I felt, as well) My eyes kept tearing up and I couldn't figure out how to get my money out of my wallet to pay her. I told her "Im from Houston and this altitude is really getting to me..." She rolled her eyes. As I walked away, I heard her say to the person behind me "can you BELIEVE that?"
Yes friends, she thought I was on drugs.
Lesson learned-I can't tell you how many times I have pointed out people to my husband that had similar symptoms and said "see, that person is on Meth, crack, coke"-- whatever. Now, it was my turn to be judged.
Anyway I went to the ER yesterday as I was told my symptoms of alkolosis could kill me if not treated- if fluid got into my lungs, bad deal.
Well. The doctor looked at me, my symptoms, and my RX history. and within a second said I was in Benzo withdrawal (exacerbated by the high climate)
Folks I almost died. Those little muscle shocks were mini seizures. I had not idea such a small dose over a short time could DO that, I wasn't abusing them in any way!
It's been long enough on the benzo, IMHO --I am sticking with the SSRI and weening off the benzo as planned.
Moral to the story---don't mess around with cold turkey from ANYTHING. And for me, just because someone is shaking, sniffing, confused, doesn't mean they are on drugs. Point taken.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
WritingFromLife, I'm glad you decided to seek help and went to the ER with this.
Absolutely not targeted to you, but this reminds me of how my parents tended to handle medications, what I saw as a kid growing up. My mom worked for a big pharmaceutical company in the packaging department, and sadly, they could often just fill large bags with the meds they were packing and take home. We had something like a private unprofessional pharmacy at home from what she brought from her job. She was also someone with many different medical problems throughout her life basically, always on lots of meds prescribed to her by doctors. Even as a kid, I was often terrified to see how she handled meds, both the rx ones and what she took home from the company... take some here and there, whenever she thought she needed, stop whenever she thought she had to. My dad is someone gifted with natural good health (he's 83 now and in a good shape), but he picked up some of those habits too given we had that pill flood at home - after a while many of them old and most likely expired, but they did not seem to care.
Also, I remember countless times, when I felt just a little out of it or sick with a cold, mom would give me antibiotics and other stuff, just take one or two, tomorrow you will feel better. I have no idea how I picked up on these approaches as bad, but know for sure starting from a young age, I simply refused her giving pills to me (which got her mad at times). Those random unsupervised habits just scared me. I'm so glad forever for this instinct or whatever it was in me, I think I could have turned into a pill addict already as a child otherwise given the environment. I never had problems with drugs even later even though I did experiment quite a bit out of curiosity, but most of them scared me after a some trials. Not alcohol, unfortunately...
I think I'm trying to keep a pretty non-judgmental attitude in most areas of my life, but the memories of that old pill "haven" in my childhood still scare me.
Take care
Absolutely not targeted to you, but this reminds me of how my parents tended to handle medications, what I saw as a kid growing up. My mom worked for a big pharmaceutical company in the packaging department, and sadly, they could often just fill large bags with the meds they were packing and take home. We had something like a private unprofessional pharmacy at home from what she brought from her job. She was also someone with many different medical problems throughout her life basically, always on lots of meds prescribed to her by doctors. Even as a kid, I was often terrified to see how she handled meds, both the rx ones and what she took home from the company... take some here and there, whenever she thought she needed, stop whenever she thought she had to. My dad is someone gifted with natural good health (he's 83 now and in a good shape), but he picked up some of those habits too given we had that pill flood at home - after a while many of them old and most likely expired, but they did not seem to care.
Also, I remember countless times, when I felt just a little out of it or sick with a cold, mom would give me antibiotics and other stuff, just take one or two, tomorrow you will feel better. I have no idea how I picked up on these approaches as bad, but know for sure starting from a young age, I simply refused her giving pills to me (which got her mad at times). Those random unsupervised habits just scared me. I'm so glad forever for this instinct or whatever it was in me, I think I could have turned into a pill addict already as a child otherwise given the environment. I never had problems with drugs even later even though I did experiment quite a bit out of curiosity, but most of them scared me after a some trials. Not alcohol, unfortunately...
I think I'm trying to keep a pretty non-judgmental attitude in most areas of my life, but the memories of that old pill "haven" in my childhood still scare me.
Take care
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
EndGame-Exactly the point of my post---you nailed it.
Funny thing is, I have worked with addicts and of course, have been on SR since 2011. I know better. I honestly did not think a couple of months, low dose, as prescribed, would do this! I know better now.
Grubby-15 mg Temazepam at night. I didn't even take it every night! As a side note, the doc in ER was sure the altitude contributed to the effects.
Haennie--that is quite a story. Wow.
My mind was so screwed up-- It was similar to someone having the confusion with hypothermia and not even realizing it.
DO NOT STOP ANYTHING COLD TURKEY WITHOUT SEEKING MED ADVICE NO MATTER HOW LONG OR HOW LITTLE YOU HAVE TAKEN.
I do NOT want to repeat the few days of Hell I just did-ever.
Thanks for all your replies! Hugs to you all.
(sincerely, one that used to know it all)
Funny thing is, I have worked with addicts and of course, have been on SR since 2011. I know better. I honestly did not think a couple of months, low dose, as prescribed, would do this! I know better now.
Grubby-15 mg Temazepam at night. I didn't even take it every night! As a side note, the doc in ER was sure the altitude contributed to the effects.
Haennie--that is quite a story. Wow.
My mind was so screwed up-- It was similar to someone having the confusion with hypothermia and not even realizing it.
DO NOT STOP ANYTHING COLD TURKEY WITHOUT SEEKING MED ADVICE NO MATTER HOW LONG OR HOW LITTLE YOU HAVE TAKEN.
I do NOT want to repeat the few days of Hell I just did-ever.
Thanks for all your replies! Hugs to you all.
(sincerely, one that used to know it all)
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
And yes, I feel 100% better--the ER gave me IV saline and small dose of Ativan, and oxygen. For the altitude and w/d. She gave me an RX for Temazepam for the next 5 days until I go home and see my psychiatrist--it's time to ween off of these.
I feel like I can take on the world today. Much, much better!
I feel like I can take on the world today. Much, much better!
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
Context Is Everything
The Grocery Store Checker was not cool. Full stop.
That said, Texans acting like total A-Holes here in Colorado are legendary, and that rep is well earned. Partying on the Ski Slopes; 'Herd' behavior in Bars; blowing off all sorts of steam while on Vacation [as happens in Cabos]; and disdain for things 'non-Texan' are some of what Tourista Town Employees deal with. Endlessly. There's more than a few snarky Bumper Stickers on this topic.
Cocaine. Rivers of Alcohol. And now, Legal Pot at 18% THC and even higher. This ain't your College Weed around here. There's also 'Pot Tourism' kicked into high gear. I don't want to get my chops busted here for posting any Links on this, but it's very much a new Business Income and Tax Revenue Stream.
In round numbers, there's about 20% less Oxygen on the Slopes around Breck, I kinda recall. It gets ugly. It takes about 30 days to ramp up the Red Blood Cell count after you move to here. Until then, you're in deficit. This is why there's so much Olympic Training done up here. Then, go down to Competition at Sea Level, and you've got some advantage.
I've seen Sunburns that appear near-fatal; all from lack of Sunscreen on reflecting Snow. Dehydrate yourself to the point of being walking Beef Jerky, and then hit the Bars. At ~9k ft. Altitude. What could possibly go wrong?
So, right or wrong, if you have a 'twang' accent, genuine Medical symptoms are going to be interpreted in the context of prior experience with Texans. For this reason - and many of us do it - I made sure I wasn't the stereotypical 'Ugly American' when traveling on Int'l Business. As I say: 'It ain't a Stereotype if it's true.'
OK, one more time... I'm not defending the Checker. Just 'splainin', Lucy.
That said, Texans acting like total A-Holes here in Colorado are legendary, and that rep is well earned. Partying on the Ski Slopes; 'Herd' behavior in Bars; blowing off all sorts of steam while on Vacation [as happens in Cabos]; and disdain for things 'non-Texan' are some of what Tourista Town Employees deal with. Endlessly. There's more than a few snarky Bumper Stickers on this topic.
Cocaine. Rivers of Alcohol. And now, Legal Pot at 18% THC and even higher. This ain't your College Weed around here. There's also 'Pot Tourism' kicked into high gear. I don't want to get my chops busted here for posting any Links on this, but it's very much a new Business Income and Tax Revenue Stream.
In round numbers, there's about 20% less Oxygen on the Slopes around Breck, I kinda recall. It gets ugly. It takes about 30 days to ramp up the Red Blood Cell count after you move to here. Until then, you're in deficit. This is why there's so much Olympic Training done up here. Then, go down to Competition at Sea Level, and you've got some advantage.
I've seen Sunburns that appear near-fatal; all from lack of Sunscreen on reflecting Snow. Dehydrate yourself to the point of being walking Beef Jerky, and then hit the Bars. At ~9k ft. Altitude. What could possibly go wrong?
So, right or wrong, if you have a 'twang' accent, genuine Medical symptoms are going to be interpreted in the context of prior experience with Texans. For this reason - and many of us do it - I made sure I wasn't the stereotypical 'Ugly American' when traveling on Int'l Business. As I say: 'It ain't a Stereotype if it's true.'
OK, one more time... I'm not defending the Checker. Just 'splainin', Lucy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Texas
Posts: 478
Thanks, Mesa Man! So right about the checker --and yes, I know the reputations Texans have here..I've been here many times, and I have no twang--well traveled and I appreciate other cultures.
My son lives here and works at the same grocery store! He was very upset with the treatment. I literally needed someone to help me....compassion. I was in bad shape!
That being said, the doctors and nurses at the ER here are the best (and most nurturing which is what I needed at the time) that I have EVER experienced. And I live in Houston-the Medical Center capital of the nation. I wish I could take them home with me.
Lucy totally gets ya, Ricky
My son lives here and works at the same grocery store! He was very upset with the treatment. I literally needed someone to help me....compassion. I was in bad shape!
That being said, the doctors and nurses at the ER here are the best (and most nurturing which is what I needed at the time) that I have EVER experienced. And I live in Houston-the Medical Center capital of the nation. I wish I could take them home with me.
Lucy totally gets ya, Ricky
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