alwayssober1

Hi guys, still going strong at 125 days sober (but who's counting lol), in a months time its my birthday, I don't really know what to do?

Normally everyone comes over and have a house party, plently of alcohol, I don't feel comfortable having a party when I'm sober, all the "you've got to have a drink on your birthday!" stuff, people cant believe im still sober, as sad as it sounds, I'm thinking of telling everyone I'm ill so they don't come over?

I don't know what to do? I hate social situations without alcohol!

Dee74

Maybe this is a great opportunity to start a new tradition and think of new ways to celebrate your birthday AS?

D

Grungehead

Hi AS1,

I had to chuckle a little reading your post. Leave it to us alcoholics to worry about a party a month from now.

Hey it will be YOUR birthday, YOUR party, at YOUR house, so YOU get to make the rules. You can even decide not to have a party if you are not comfortable, no need to make up an excuse.

One more thing. You are 4 months sober so your friends need to accept and respect your sobriety. By the time I had 4-5 months sober my friends understood that I was serious about not drinking, so they no longer put any kind of pressure on me to drink. Of course I had lost a few friends by then, but it turns out they were really only drinking buddies.

FeelingGreat

Meet your friends for breakfast AS. Be pro-active so they don't organise something first.

IOAA2

I was convinced by the old timers that times like this can be interpreted as "just another day." That helped my thinking for a long time. Of course there are exceptions like anniversaries, Christmas etc.
For the most part I don't participate in what can be a drinking situations even after many years of no desire to drink. JMO

BE WELL

alwayssober1

Thanks guys, I've always hated birthdays, all I have ever done at times like these where to get extra sozzled! Lol.

Now I'm sober I see birthdays, BBQs, parties, celebrations as uneventful, boring, feel like I'm missing out while everybody has a good time, so for now I'd rather not partake in these events, I feel like the odd one out, too testing to my resolve!

doggonecarl

Either you avoid those situations, or, as others have suggested, you create one where you are comfortable...Day at the zoo, museum time, everyone goes to a movie you want to see.

Myself, I would tell people I wasn't in the mood to celebrate and would prefer to be alone.

Most importantly, don't turn this birthday mole hill into a mountain by stressing over it. It's a birthday, but it's also just another sober day, as IAOO pointed out.

TigerLili

If you want to tell people you're ill, or you'll have a party 'later' at some unspecified time in the future, do that. Don't have a party or expose yourself to temptation if you have any doubts. It's not worth it.

No one raised an eyebrow or said anything when I stopped drinking. It must be tough if people ask you about it all the time or give you a hard time over it.

digderidoo

It took me a couple of years to figure out to do something different on my birthday. Early on relapsed twice, both on my birthday.

It was my birthday two weeks ago, I met my children for lunch and went to a comedy club with a ladyfriend on the night time, had a fantastic day.

anykey

This year you birthday just became a painting party- get your whole house painted for the cost of a keg.

Have extra paint brushes and spare clothes that folks can wear that can get dirty.

Carlotta

You must be a young person
Past a certain age, the last thing you want to be reminded of is that you are getting older.
What about doing something fun and wild with your friends like going bungee jumping or rafting or play paintball? Take a horseback ride on a trail? There are tons of fun and sober activities you can engage in with your friends which do not involve booze.

GracieLou

I have been drunk on every single birthday I have had for the last 26 years except the last one.

The last one I turned 45 and I was 8 months sober. I didn't do anything but reflect on how nice it was not to get drunk and end up in my own private pity party with deflated balloons and crushed party hats.

Actually I can't remember the last time I even had a birthday party much less a birthday cake but that does not matter. I am sober. That is the greatest gift I could have and I get to celebrate it everyday!

LBrain

you can do what my sister did on the big four-oh. she didn't want to celebrate and all that jazz because of the trauma associated with being 40(she still can drink with the best of them). So she booked herself a weekend getaway. Went away and got cards and emails, but didn't have to face the crowd. Women!
Anyway, why don't you do the same? Just a thought. It's your birthday.

alwayssober1

Thanks for your replies everyone, I'm just going to tell them straight I don't want to do anything, its on a Friday as well, damn it! Lol, I've got learn to do other things other than just drinking or not drinking, that's all everyone does with there time off, its not easy getting sober in your twenties! But staying sober is more important to me than celebrating birthdays.

TigerLili

Good plan AlwaysSober. When I stopped drinking i noticed that a lot of people didn't actually drink very much at all. I thought EVERYONE got plastered all the time. I didn't actually tell anyone except one close friend that I was quitting drinking. If anyone mentions I'm not drinking I just say "No, not today." or "It give me migraines." both of which are true. I don't go into my alcoholism. My close friend knows I want to quit drinking because I drink too much and can't control it, but I haven't actually told her I'm in AA.

CodeJob

Ice cream social.