TigerLili

Yes, I've been to meetings, called my sponsor, prayed, called other AAs, have a home group, a service position etc. Got it covered, thanks.

I still really want a drink.

Urgh. One day at a time.

It's a compulsion. I don't WANT to drink, but I'm feeling COMPELLED to drink. It's an unpleasant feeling.

Going to get a massage, some take out and watch tv :-)

Dee74

Have a good and sober weekend TL.
You can get past this

Do something good for yourself, and maybe something good for others too.
I really believe a grateful heart won't turn away from a sober life

D

doggonecarl

I know how hard it can seem once the thoughts of drinking take hold, the rationalizations we make. Suddenly we want to drink and use. But I also know that we can drive the compulsion away if we are determined not to drink. No means no.

Stay strong!

Gottalife

Meetings, sponsor, service, home group.........steps.?

FeelingGreat

I found slow deep breathing for a short time invariably got me through the cravings. Ditto eating something sweet. Don't get too tired, hungry or thirsty.

TigerLili

Thanks guys :-)

It's going to take time for my usual coping mechanism (drinking and using) to be replaced with better ones during times of stress. I'm aware that this is all it is. I want to distance myself from the stress I'm under at the moment and drinking always did that. It's like that joke about hitting yourself on the head with a hammer - feels better when you stop lol.

I'm learning ways to deal with things and learning to become more resilient. It's exhausting being worked up and freaked out at every thing all the time. Therapy is helping.

Treerat66

Hi Tiger, have a hug.

Nonsensical

Compared to the guilt, shame, destruction, and embarrassment that drinking causes, it's a walk in the park.

Bacon and/or chocolate take the edge off. Not only is that a scientific fact, but it's also in the Bible. Somewhere in the back, I think.

RobbyRobot

Hi TigerLilli,

Good on you for keeping sober onto 4 months now and better. A real accomplishment that can last a lifetime of goodness for YOU. You know for me, what your describing above is simply addiction ambivalence harassing you thru your AV and your reaction, in part, is what your calling an unpleasant feeling.

Although I'm all for honesty, in my own early days of sobriety, the more I accepted my AV as normal for my mindset, the less it effected me in my day to day living as concerned my feelings. Its not always best for us to claim our AV is pushing us into a corner, so to speak. In early sobriety, we do better to stand our ground and not allow our AV to call the shots on how we do or don't feel about whatever...

Ideally, separation from AV is really key in furthering the steady enjoyment of the relief we seek emotional and mentally when we have already quit drinking. We quit for good reasons, and those reasons are more important as we keep sober, not less important, and sometimes this importance can unfortunately be set aside as we deal with life after quitting drinking.

Wanting to drink after experiencing sobriety working is of course unpleasant feeling wise. It is best if you can detach from your AV inasmuch as possible, and own your sobriety, and disown what your AV is attempting to sell you on ie "wanting that drink"

With this in mind, do YOU want that drink? Or is it that your AV (addictive voice - alcoholic thinking - addiction ambivalence and so on) wants YOU to want that drink?

Sure, we need to own our thoughts and feelings. We are responsible. At the same time, being sober allows for us to detach and distance ourselves from past behaviors which promoted drinking as a solution to life's challenges.

Take it easy. Sobriety in itself gives us an advantage in dealing with whatever AV throws at us, lol.

Have a good day!

huntingtontx

Good job in posting here and not taking the drink. You got this.

TigerLili

You guys are great. Thanks for being here.

TigerLili

THat made me laugh so hard my cat ran out of the room!

karate

Im just a few weeks in this time , but cravings only last a little while .

It has a way of working on you mentally , but try to learn what it is .
A lie to get you to drink poison.

SoberLeigh

(((((TigerLilli))))); wish I could treat you to an ice cream sundae or something!!!!

More hugs.

biminiblue

Tiger - you are so strong. You're doing great! I think we all have that voice. It can definitely be annoying. The spinning thoughts are annoying as well. But you are using healthy coping methods now - so you will silence that.

Good job, you're awesome.

aasharon90

I refuse to allow those voices
rent space free in my head.

Stay strong and grounded in
your recovery each day you
remain sober, TigerLili.

Carlotta

Hang in there Tigerlili ****{hugs}}} and Nonsensical has a good point about chocolate and bacon. Just eat 2 pounds of those and you'll probably feel too icky to even think about drinking

grubby

How far into sobriety are you?

I am day 74 and if i recall correctly i had the most AV feelings around week 3 or 4.

I had a close-call around half-way into week 3 (cant remember if it was a Tues or Weds)........ i ALMOST went to the fridge and got the old 70% full "olde English 800" 40 oz bottle from the very back of the fridge, but i came to my senses at the very last minute. After that incident it just kind of faded into the background, nowadays it's just "a nice thought" which i can usually dismiss out of hand.

For me, i notice that the alcoholic thoughts pop up mostly whenever i am bored....... which is quite often lately. The nice weather outside doesnt seem to help much in this regard. Boredom is your enemy, remember this. If it weren't for having an internet connection it's an almost 100% sure-thing i would have relapsed a long time ago i think.

Not sure what else to say, just try to keep your mind occupied with something else. I'm pretty sure we all get AV thoughts, i think the only difference is the degree of said corrupt thoughts - some are the more subtle "wouldn't it be nice?" thoughts like i get from time to time........ others are the more dangerous "i NEED a drink right now!" variety.

Croissant

Hugs coming your way.

Good on you for coming here.xx

karate

How hard would it be to get a stranger on the street ,to convince you to drink a poison .?

This poison will make you mentally and psysically sick ,and has potential to RUIN your life .