karate

If just feeling better alone will keep me from drinking .

I felt terrible most of the time drinking .

I'm wondering if I'm doomed to failure .

I'm not having much in the way of urges , I have to walk by the beer to get my after work drinks .

To be honest , the thought crosses my mind , but I dismiss it quickly .

I really don't have time to go to AA , it's busy time coming up on the farm .

I'm not thinking of abandoning the non drinking plan .

Feeling pretty good .

silentrun

Feeling better will not keep you from drinking Karate. Feeling better can actually make you forget and think about trying it out again. You have to change the whole way you look at alcohol and drinking. See it as your captor and you are trying to escape it's chains. That's a good place to start at least. You are not doomed.

Nuudawn

What makes you wonder if you are doomed for failure?

Hawkeye13

Why not go to the big box store or Amazon subscribe and save and buy your "after work drinks" in bulk. It would be cheaper than one unit at a time in a retail store, and you wouldn't walk by beer.

Part of the success long term really has to do with changing any triggering habits you have. If you do that, the AV voice doesn't have a "ready made" opportunity to challenge you.

You can do this Karate, or you can choose to find a reason / reasons to not do it.

What positive things are you doing for your health besides stopping drinking?

I know you work a great deal, but think about regularly getting something that is fun or relaxing scheduled as well.
Rewards are important to that childish part of ourselves who "deserves" their beer or whatever to unwind.
Predict and plan for this

IOAA2

Hi.

"I really don't have time to go to AA , it's busy time coming up on the farm."

I was taught that sobriety is the #1 thing we concentrate on no matter what. That includes family, job and anything else that can get in the way. I/we don't like that as shown on these forums when we do things our way which usually leads us back to #1. Lets not forget that alcohol is cunning, baffling and so powerful and can beat us in a heartbeat if we listen to our BS.
Bottom line is that if we don't pick up the first drink we can't get drunk. Easy to say but it's work to achieve one day at a time.

BE WELL

GracieLou

I fear it will be anything but interesting.

RobbyRobot

This is the kind of mentality that seeks justifications for future drinking. Feelings alone are not enough to quit drinking. Feelings alone are also not enough to drink that future drink either. Feelings are just feelings, they are not actions taken, nor do they ever become such.

You've already been down this path in recovery, Karate. Feelings can never really be the true reason that causes anyone to drink. Feelings can be used as excuses and justifications for twisted and delusional ideations for drinking of course, but feelings themselves are never enough...

You are doomed to fail if you keep doing the same things over and over again while expecting different results. There is nothing interesting about your self-created basis for failure - its nothing more than justifying that next drink so you can "feel comfortable" about being "driven to drink" by your "feelings"

We drank for the effect for good or ill. We didn't drink because it made real good sense to drink, and your trying to understand how to make your next drink sensible...

You'll find as always, once the drink is drank, making sense of whatever will once again become a real and sad enough challenge...

Your far better off to change your mind NOW and not wait around to see how interesting things may get if you try to stay quit on just feelings.

kenkd

How about this.....spend as much time on the program of AA in one week as you did in one day of drinking.

If feeling good was all it took I would market it and be a kazillionaire.

karate

I did not lose much time drinking the last time , But worked quite a bit feeling crappy .

I might attend once weekly .

Nuudawn

Yes...this. I am reminded of something my counsellor said to me last year when I made a particularly whiny and rather childish statement in a session like "well, why not everybody leaves me eventually". She looked me dead in the eyes and with a tone that sounded like smarten up sister..."that's your addiction talkiing".

That hit me rather profoundly. I had never before equated self pity with addiction. I have ever since.

karate

When I do run across a wise comment ,it might be uncomfortable .

But I am grateful for it .

It might sting a bit at first , but I normally remain quiet and try to remember to analize it later .

deeker

You don't have the time for AA, you found the time to drink didn't you??

karate

Drank on the way home from regular job ,and on the farm .

But yes ,before you call BS on that one

You are likely correct .

jdooner

Karate...it sounds like you just bounce from one quit to another never really changing the variables but confused on why you fall back into old routines. There is an AAism that says nothign changes if nothing changes.

I was encouraged by your willingness to attend an AA meeting. Lets forget about the terminal uniqueness and pretend you are just attending like us normal alcoholics...this would be real change and growth karate.

Posting about your feelings and repeating the same cycle 1,304 times is just going to keep you stuck. You deserve more out of life Karate...there is a better life for you but you are you're own worst enemy.

karate

What im looking for is an insurance policy ,AA might be just
a right fit for that.

I have accepted there are people that know alot more than i do about being sober .

Somehow being sober ,totally has opened my eyes to what life can be -wihout hangovers ,depression ,regret ,anxeiy ,aches and pains ,Insommia ,
anger , and everything else .

Did i leave anyhing out

I am fearful of going back ,if that makes any sense .

kenkd

Just a thought.....how long have you been online today posting and reading? Could that time have been spent at a meeting perhaps?

ImperfectlyMe

Being fearful of going back will only keep you sober for so long. That newness of feeling so physically wonderful will eventually ware off. It's the nature of humans we get complacent and novelty dwindles.

You need more. Whether AA is that or not I have no idea. I'm not an AAer and have been sober over a year. But don't use the no time excuse cause you're on here posting more then the average time a meeting lasts.

Why not read some of the threads in the Newcombers section or join a monthly class, make yourself part of something bigger than you!

Good luck karate

karate

Lots of my posing is on break and lunch ,work downtime ,ect

We have WIFI on the entire complex .

deeker

karate, didn't you just post on another thread that you were going to be a speaker at AA in a couple weeks?

deeker

disregard oops keep double posting