Notices

what made you change your mind?

Old 04-27-2014, 04:58 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 3
what made you change your mind?

For me, I needed help. I couldnt do it myself. thankfully I had someone to pull me out.
but I know some people who just woke up one day and rang AA, and did it by themselves.
what made you change your mind? If you could tell a user something to "wake them up" what would it be?
fallinggrace is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:10 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
GunnyL's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 70
Look around you and SEE what you love and hold dear in your heart. You can lose every bit of it.

And for what?
GunnyL is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:18 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: London, ON
Posts: 114
I took my girlfriend for granted, then she dumped me for a month before I could convince her to give us a second chance. That really showed me that the one thing most important to me could go away forever if I didn't get my act together.
BrendonM is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:19 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 138
Buckets of shame I just couldn't swim in anymore.
JustODAAT is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:21 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Raider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: North salt lake
Posts: 3,325
Whatever age you are right now, you will blink an eye and you will have wasted another 30 years of your life by not cleaning up now.
Raider is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:23 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,671
I was sick to death of waking up hating myself every day.
least is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:25 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Regina
Posts: 14
My boyfriend said he couldn't be with an alcoholic anymore. We had a very intense discussion the day I left for a week holiday. It was very painful and made me see the damage I was doing to myself. I've been a sober for a month.
benniesauntie is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:34 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Life the gift of recovery!
 
nandm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
It was my oldest daughter. She made me realize that my alcoholism was not just killing me but it was killing everyone that I loved including her. At that point I really did not care whether I lived or died but the thought that I was causing that much pain to my children was something I did not know what to do about except try and figure out how to stop drinking. I actually said a prayer to a God, any God because at that point in my life I did not believe in God, that he/she either show me how to live life without alcohol and not be insane or give me the courage to put a gun to my head as I was done, I had lost all hope. I did not even know how to mow my lawn without having a cooler full of beer sitting there. That next morning the first thought that came to my head was to find the piece of paper that had a phone number on it from someone in AA who several weeks before had given it to me and said to call if I ever thought I had a problem with alcohol. I can't believe I had not thrown that paper away and was still able to find it. I have not had a drink since then and that was 13 years ago but I can remember it like it was yesterday and the emotions are still as raw. I have so much gratitude.
nandm is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:37 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Wow ok I was just thinking about this today?

My experience was that a few things happened to get me into AA:

The drinking was getting into more regular blackouts and I had started drinking earlier than before, was considering taking the morning drink. I started drinking at midday and by 4pm had gone through a few bottles of wine so was having to make myself sick to try and keep drinking or eat and stop drinking which made me miserable. I was thinking about suicide a lot more. I had become hopeless and miserable. But that wasn't enough.

I then became aware that in 2008 I had basically repeated a year I had in 2000 where I had ended up in much the same position financially, with new car and nice home but once again could not care less about it and knew that something was wrong with this picture.

I went to a rehab in Spain then drank after leaving.

I had cut my family off by this point and my final ex girlfriend enabler told me she had a new boyfriend and could not see my anymore. Then one night afternoon I sat down to start drinking and no matter what I drank I Gould get no relief or feeling from the alcohol, it was at this point they I knew I was f***ed.

Then I went to AA.

Over the years lots of people tried to help me, I tried lots of things to stop and had various dry spells. The dry spells taught me that without alcohol I would be miserable.

That's it in a nutshell, as to what changed for me to go to AA I still don't know. What is it that makes an alcoholic do something about getting into recovery, don't know? I do know that trying to get an alcoholic to see that they need help before they are ready is a waste if time.

The only thing that would have got me into recovery quicker would to have not tried to stop drinking all those years and got on with it until I'd had enough.
yeahgr8 is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 05:42 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Recovering ostrich
 
Tamerua's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Every hangover was filled with so much self hatred and anxiety and depression, I just hated it. Then one bad drunk, I turned into someone I never wanted to be. Within 7 days, I went to AA.
Tamerua is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 06:58 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Brian316's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 639
Multiple relapses and a final moment of clarity. Finally realizing my only choice left was to live or die.
Brian316 is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 08:34 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
buickbeast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Gainesville, FL
Posts: 96
2 things.
First, I work at a place that has multiple health care facilities on site. I spend 75% of my time at work outside. Everyday, I see kids that are 3-10 years old that need physical and or mental help. Most of them are in wheel chairs. They go to the physical therapy dept. Some of them I see every other day.
These kids have the biggest smiles on their lil faces.
I spent over a year in the Middle East during my time in the military and luckily came back safely. Everytime I saw one of these kids, I thought to myself "that kid would give anything for what I take granted for every day. Why am I the one that's drinking?"

The other reason was when my roommate was 7 months preggo with her first child. I was drinking very heavily at that time, maybe the most ever. I finally got it through my thick skull that I didn't want to be the one responsible of having a newborn being raised with an alcoholic.

Seeing those kids smile while I know life dealt they got dealt a tough hand in life. That always puts my life in perspective really quick.
buickbeast is offline  
Old 04-27-2014, 11:24 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
 
Gottalife's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
A year or so before I stopped an elderly AA gentleman gave me hope. When the pain grew great enough, I grabbed the hope with both hands.

It was hope, not fear, that compelled me to seek help. Fear always lead me to drink.
Gottalife is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 12:36 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Grateful
 
Grungehead's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
The Four Horsemen paid me a visit (Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair) and they brought with them the gift of desperation.

I reached the point that the BB talks about on pp 151-152:

"Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end."

I post that quote a lot because it explains so well exactly where I was at right before I "changed my mind". I reached the point where I had to reach out for help or dive head first into oblivion. One morning I woke up and had a rare moment of clarity (before my morning drink). I called the hospital where I receive all of my other medical care and made an appointment to see an addiction specialist, but the earliest they could see me was the following week.

So I took that appointment, hung up the phone, and had my morning drink. I continued my normal drinking routine (every waking hour) and even had 3 beers on the way to the appointment to steady my nerves. We decided on intensive OP rehab and he gave me some meds to treat my withdrawal symptoms. I walked out of his office and haven't had a drink since...just over a year now.

I don't think I so much chose but ran out of options as the only 2 I had left were sobriety and death.
Grungehead is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 12:57 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Cow
Woe is Moo.
 
Cow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
This thread make me happy for all you, but sad for me. As 30+ year alcoholic, is still mental/emotional/physiological struggle I has not yet overcome, even though I almost die couple times. I not sure what turning point can be if it not that you almost die. I not know how to find it.
Cow is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 04:22 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
GracieLou's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by fallinggrace View Post
I know some people who just woke up one day and rang AA, and did it by themselves.
I rang AA but I certainly did not do it by myself. Yes, I picked up the phone but something caused me to pick it up. I drank for 26 years, other than having a limited involvement with AA in the past, there was no rhyme or reason that I have been able to find on why I picked up that phone.

After that I was never alone. I had the help of the people in AA that held me up until I could hold myself up. I had a HP that has been waiting for me and I only had to turn over my will to the care of my HP.

Alone? No, not alone. A had a little faith, I could have never done it alone.
GracieLou is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 10:44 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
newwestdork's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 120
I was on the brink of ending another relationship. My now-wife was furious at me for turning up at home completely off my face yet again. I had considered AA for years but had never done anything about it. That night, I drunkenly Googled it and woke her to tell her there was a meeting the next morning at 9am that I'd like to go to. Well, 9am came, and an extremely hungover me was rousted from bed and dragged down the street to the meeting.

I had tried and failed to quit and moderate on my own over and over again, and I could see that it was about to cost me something yet again. I finally conceded that maybe getting help was the way to go.

My fellow AA members remarked that they suspected I was there for the meeting when they came in - I was a reeking, hungover island in a sea of perky morning people getting coffee and bashing away at laptops.
newwestdork is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 12:08 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Cow
Woe is Moo.
 
Cow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Wow, every times I read how people change cuz they was gonna lose relationships, I think, how was you even able to HAVE relationships to save! Nobody I ever know was ever willing to stick with Cow. I think if you have such love, I would do whatever you has to freaking do to save this, yes?
Cow is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 12:34 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Leshar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,960
I think I would tell someone who is plagued by addiction and who really wants to change, that there is indeed a life beyond the despair of addiction. In my case at least, this requires a leap of faith and really listening to those who have successfully embraced a new, whole life. This is one of the reasons I find SR to be so wonderful. Real life people from all walks of life who have done the hard work and are able to show us the way.
Just plod along, day by day. It does get better.
Good luck!
Leshar is offline  
Old 04-28-2014, 05:07 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
comingoutsober's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Aurora, Colorado
Posts: 36
Honestly, It was when my Dr essentially fired me. He had been working approximately 6 months to get me to stop drinking because he was managing my mental health medication (Paxil). Two weeks after he prescribed me Antabuse, at the follow up appointment, I told him I didn't take it and that I was only drinking on weekends (which was a lie). He simply said that wasn't good enough and that he would no longer see me on a mental health basis because he said he would not be used. He said I just didn't want it enough.

That night I thought about it, and realized that to an extent he was right. If I really wanted to make a change, I would have to put in the work on my end. So a switch just kind of flipped in my head and I decided to really apply myself to getting sober. It was a very humbling experience.
comingoutsober is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:14 PM.