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Old 04-26-2014, 08:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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the sadest thing about alcaholism


For me, the hardest thing about being an alcoholic, for 12 years, the thing which ruined my life, was missed opportunities. I used to play violin and "could have and would have" played in orchestras professionally if I hadn't destroyed my life.


In your experience, whats the hardest, saddest most difficult thing about dealing with alcoholism?
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Old 04-26-2014, 08:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
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For me, the hardest thing about being an alcoholic, for 12 years, the thing which ruined my life, was missed opportunities. I used to play violin and "could have and would have" played in orchestras professionally if I hadn't destroyed my life.


In your experience, whats the hardest, saddest most difficult thing about dealing with alcoholism?
For me it is the loss of career opportunities. I was supposed to see my Masters through in a lab I liked but the effect it had on my performance was so severe my lab work slipped, my attention to the intellectual side of my project slipped, and ultimately I failed my PhD transfer exam. I can never get my PhD in this lab, a lab I love.
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Old 04-26-2014, 08:32 PM   #3 (permalink)
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The saddest thing about alcoholism was realizing that's what I was......
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Old 04-26-2014, 08:33 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Missed opportunities , for all of us .

All we can do is move forward from here .

Im trying to change my occupation ,closer to 50 than 40
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Old 04-26-2014, 08:36 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Woulda shoulda couldas lead to drinking for me. I'll let someone else have the self pity. I'll take a fresh cup of coffee and a sunrise, hold the hangover, please. Watching my old drinking buddies suffer and die hurts. I know that detachment, sometimes even "no contact" are necessary for my own personal health but it can be sad. This week has been grim that way.
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Old 04-26-2014, 08:41 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Woulda shoulda couldas lead to drinking for me. I'll let someone else have the self pity. I'll take a fresh cup of coffee and a sunrise, hold the hangover, please. Watching my old drinking buddies suffer and die hurts. I know that detachment, sometimes even "no contact" are necessary for my own personal health but it can be sad. This week has been grim that way.

I agree a morning without a hangover is priceless .

I follow up the coffee with a diet coke and a pinch of Copenhagen .
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Old 04-26-2014, 09:55 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I revocered most if not all my missed opportunities.

The saddest thing for me was not being able to see the solution when it was right in front of me. I could have saved myself a lot of pain and humiliation.

And the saddest thing today is to see others like that. Unable to see what is right in front of them.

But, you can only see what you can see when you can see it. You can only hear what you can hear when you can hear it,
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Old 04-26-2014, 10:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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redo my son's life. I can't get those years back and yes it does depress me.
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Old 04-26-2014, 10:04 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I was going to say nothing but thats not true.
I hurt a lot of people - two former partners especially.

You can't undo that.

D
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Old 04-26-2014, 11:51 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hardest, difficult most saddest thing?

Wasting years and years of my life being a shadow of the parent I could and should have been. I try not to spend too much time reflecting on that now though because if I'm not careful it can destroy the present.

Today I'm the Mum I always knew I could be. There's a lot of laughter in our house and my relationship with them both is the biggest light in my life.

Try not to dwell in the past. I don't know how old you are, but is there still a future for you with the violin. There is life after alcoholism and it's a great one
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Old 04-26-2014, 11:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Jeni's right of course about the other side of the coin and I was remiss in not mentioning that

There is life after recovery and it's a good life

I used to be a semi-pro musician...I still play music - it's not about the fame, it's about the music and I like that now.

there's nothing stopping you doing the same, fallinggrace

D
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:18 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Delusion
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Old 04-27-2014, 12:40 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Do you still play the violin?
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Old 04-27-2014, 01:07 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Started drinking at 15 for 32 years it took so much away it's just so sad , try not to think about it because it gets me so down.
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Old 04-27-2014, 01:29 AM   #15 (permalink)
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The saddest thing for me is the lost years, a 'good enough' parent to my child. Now she is dead, and I can never make it right.
The good things I have learned from my tragedy is to never ever take for granted the precious moments we only have a limited amount of, time spent with those I love. To live joyfully, in the moment and to continuously strive to be a better person today than I was yesterday..
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Old 04-27-2014, 01:41 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Missing out on most of my 20's, and part of my 30's. I'm not going to worry about the past anymore, Time to move on.
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Old 04-27-2014, 02:39 AM   #17 (permalink)
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my purpose here was not to bring up bad memories, but to share the worst things so that others could relate and not feel alone.
I dont play anymore because I feel too jaded.
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Old 04-27-2014, 02:45 AM   #18 (permalink)
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fallinggrace, I am utterly jealous that you can play violin! I don't have a musical bone in my body but I'd love to be talented in that area.
Can I ask why you can't start now? I go to orchestral concerts often and there is a huge age range amongst the artists.
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Old 04-27-2014, 03:22 AM   #19 (permalink)
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I hope that changes Falling - the violin is a beautiful instrument in the right hands

D
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Old 04-27-2014, 03:35 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I think or wonder about is my choice to not have kids. Addiction is a huge reason I decided not to have them.
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