relapsed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: MI
Posts: 20
relapsed
i relapsed on Wed. night. I haven't told my sponsor yet. This is the second or third time ihave relapsed since she's been my sponsor. I had just over 5 months. I don't think it's fair to her to keep her as my sponsor since i keep failing. Everything was going ok..I was calling her daily, going to regular meetings. Then wed. i had a bad day, was in a bad mood and the boyfriend i was living with and renting out a room from said he didnt want to go out with me anymore. so then i made the bad mistake of going to the liquor store. I just want help but dont know whta to do. it almost seems like i'll never recover from this disease of alcoholism.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: California
Posts: 195
Sorry about the break up. 
But it could be a blessing in disguise. If you're starting off trying to get sober, the end bits of that relationship could have been tripping you up and you should focus on you and only you for awhile.
But it could be a blessing in disguise. If you're starting off trying to get sober, the end bits of that relationship could have been tripping you up and you should focus on you and only you for awhile.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I see you have a sponsor and attend regular meetings and yet still relapsed. In my experience, for alcoholics of my type, those two things are not enough to bring about permanent recovery.
I found it necessary to go much further. Certainly I attended meetings and found a sponsor, my sponsor took me through the steps and helped me make contact with the God of my understanding. He taught me about AA in general, and he got me involved in 12 step work early, firstly by helping at meetings and giving people rides to meetings, then visiting still suffering alcoholics and attending h&i meetings.
He taught me about service, and encouraged me to sponsor others.
He did not tell me how to live my life, what relationships or jobs to have or not have, what to spend my money on, or which meetings I should attend. He helped me learn how to think, but never once told me what to think.
Not that I felt pushed, but I had begun to make my amends when two amazing things happened. The desire to drink was gone, and my sponsor rang to tell me I had three months sobriety. I was amazed as I did not think I would last three weeks, and never took a note of the date. That was in 1980, and I haven't needed to take a drink since.
Over the years I have seen one or two people with difficulties similar to yours, but they and you can get over them.
The usual causes, again for alcoholics of my type are, not taking the steps, taking the steps too slowly, holding something back in the steps, refusing to work with others, and all this comes from an issue around the first step. We don't understand what powerless means. We think we can have recovery on our terms, we think we still have a choice in what we will and will not do. We are not willing to go to any lengths.
When that changes and we get truly willing, the power begins to flow.
I found it necessary to go much further. Certainly I attended meetings and found a sponsor, my sponsor took me through the steps and helped me make contact with the God of my understanding. He taught me about AA in general, and he got me involved in 12 step work early, firstly by helping at meetings and giving people rides to meetings, then visiting still suffering alcoholics and attending h&i meetings.
He taught me about service, and encouraged me to sponsor others.
He did not tell me how to live my life, what relationships or jobs to have or not have, what to spend my money on, or which meetings I should attend. He helped me learn how to think, but never once told me what to think.
Not that I felt pushed, but I had begun to make my amends when two amazing things happened. The desire to drink was gone, and my sponsor rang to tell me I had three months sobriety. I was amazed as I did not think I would last three weeks, and never took a note of the date. That was in 1980, and I haven't needed to take a drink since.
Over the years I have seen one or two people with difficulties similar to yours, but they and you can get over them.
The usual causes, again for alcoholics of my type are, not taking the steps, taking the steps too slowly, holding something back in the steps, refusing to work with others, and all this comes from an issue around the first step. We don't understand what powerless means. We think we can have recovery on our terms, we think we still have a choice in what we will and will not do. We are not willing to go to any lengths.
When that changes and we get truly willing, the power begins to flow.
☀️⛳️
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by bubbles87 
i relapsed on Wed. night. I haven't told my sponsor yet. This is the second or third time ihave relapsed since she's been my sponsor. I had just over 5 months. I don't think it's fair to her to keep her as my sponsor since i keep failing. Everything was going ok..I was calling her daily, going to regular meetings. Then wed. i had a bad day, was in a bad mood and the boyfriend i was living with and renting out a room from said he didnt want to go out with me anymore. so then i made the bad mistake of going to the liquor store. I just want help but dont know whta to do. it almost seems like i'll never recover from this disease of alcoholism.
Raider is correct, you will beat this. You have to believe in your own abilities and strength. mind over matter. Good luck and stay strong.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Originally Posted by Gottalife
I see you have a sponsor and attend regular meetings and yet still relapsed. In my experience, for alcoholics of my type, those two things are not enough to bring about permanent recovery.
I found it necessary to go much further. Certainly I attended meetings and found a sponsor, my sponsor took me through the steps and helped me make contact with the God of my understanding. He taught me about AA in general, and he got me involved in 12 step work early, firstly by helping at meetings and giving people rides to meetings, then visiting still suffering alcoholics and attending h&i meetings.
He taught me about service, and encouraged me to sponsor others.
He did not tell me how to live my life, what relationships or jobs to have or not have, what to spend my money on, or which meetings I should attend. He helped me learn how to think, but never once told me what to think.
Not that I felt pushed, but I had begun to make my amends when two amazing things happened. The desire to drink was gone, and my sponsor rang to tell me I had three months sobriety. I was amazed as I did not think I would last three weeks, and never took a note of the date. That was in 1980, and I haven't needed to take a drink since.
Over the years I have seen one or two people with difficulties similar to yours, but they and you can get over them.
The usual causes, again for alcoholics of my type are, not taking the steps, taking the steps too slowly, holding something back in the steps, refusing to work with others, and all this comes from an issue around the first step. We don't understand what powerless means. We think we can have recovery on our terms, we think we still have a choice in what we will and will not do. We are not willing to go to any lengths.
When that changes and we get truly willing, the power begins to flow.
I found it necessary to go much further. Certainly I attended meetings and found a sponsor, my sponsor took me through the steps and helped me make contact with the God of my understanding. He taught me about AA in general, and he got me involved in 12 step work early, firstly by helping at meetings and giving people rides to meetings, then visiting still suffering alcoholics and attending h&i meetings.
He taught me about service, and encouraged me to sponsor others.
He did not tell me how to live my life, what relationships or jobs to have or not have, what to spend my money on, or which meetings I should attend. He helped me learn how to think, but never once told me what to think.
Not that I felt pushed, but I had begun to make my amends when two amazing things happened. The desire to drink was gone, and my sponsor rang to tell me I had three months sobriety. I was amazed as I did not think I would last three weeks, and never took a note of the date. That was in 1980, and I haven't needed to take a drink since.
Over the years I have seen one or two people with difficulties similar to yours, but they and you can get over them.
The usual causes, again for alcoholics of my type are, not taking the steps, taking the steps too slowly, holding something back in the steps, refusing to work with others, and all this comes from an issue around the first step. We don't understand what powerless means. We think we can have recovery on our terms, we think we still have a choice in what we will and will not do. We are not willing to go to any lengths.
When that changes and we get truly willing, the power begins to flow.
Bubbles, don't give up till the miracle happens: tell your sponsor about your drinking then immerse yourself in the steps and service work. You can do it
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Hmmm clearly me saying you are fine and keep doing what you are doing and it will all work out is pretty useless to you as if it was working for you then you wouldn't have drunk again.
So...get on with the steps, if you have a sponsor that isn't getting you through them quick enough then find a sponsor that will. You can recover if you get on with the work:-)
So...get on with the steps, if you have a sponsor that isn't getting you through them quick enough then find a sponsor that will. You can recover if you get on with the work:-)
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Hi Bubbles. Sorry you've broken up with your boyfriend.
It probably doesn't feel like it now, but you may find this is an opportunity to push to the next level of sobriety. Drinking doesn't make things go away, it just delays having to deal with them.
Stop drinking, pick yourself up. You still own that 5 months of sobriety, which is huge. Deal with your feelings, keep sober and let time pass. Before you know it, you may see a whole exciting life stretch before you without your ex. You may well have outgrown him.
Be well and good luck.
It probably doesn't feel like it now, but you may find this is an opportunity to push to the next level of sobriety. Drinking doesn't make things go away, it just delays having to deal with them.
Stop drinking, pick yourself up. You still own that 5 months of sobriety, which is huge. Deal with your feelings, keep sober and let time pass. Before you know it, you may see a whole exciting life stretch before you without your ex. You may well have outgrown him.
Be well and good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Gatineau, QC, CA
Posts: 5,100
Originally Posted by Hearts
Sorry about the break up. But it could be a blessing in disguise. If you're starting off trying to get sober, the end bits of that relationship could have been tripping you up and you should focus on you and only you for awhile.
But it could be a blessing in disguise. If you're starting off trying to get sober, the end bits of that relationship could have been tripping you up and you should focus on you and only you for awhile.I am in early recovery also, I am staying away from drama and emotional situations I can avoid.
Alcoholism is an emotional issue we have.
Stay strong I know this must hurt.
Be kind to yourself
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 49
A relapse/slip is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to many. In my local AA group, which numbers about 35 people, in the past week 3 have come in admitting they relapsed. Two of them had several years sober, the other several months. They were welcomed back in with kindness and compassion. We spoke of our respect for their honesty in putting the issue on the table.
More than likely your sponsor will be supportive and help you through the feelings you're having. Keep your chin up and don't sweat it. It happens. Stay determined and start again!
More than likely your sponsor will be supportive and help you through the feelings you're having. Keep your chin up and don't sweat it. It happens. Stay determined and start again!
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Calling your sponsor daily helps so we can call if and when we are in a bad place.....I also encourage you to work those steps, work them well this first time through and work them again in a few more months.
Keep moving forward!!
Keep moving forward!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
