SoberLife2014

So, last night a woman that I did outpatient rehab with reached out to me and we talked on the phone for a bit. After we hung up I was left feeling a little uncomfortable. I guess she just wanted to catch up. We have texted off and on for about a year. She's the only one I've kept in contact with. Anyway, she just seemed a little absent minded and she divulged a lot more information about herself than she ever had before. I thought she was in rehab because of alcoholism, but it was also because of depression as a result of cheating on her husband with several men apparently. The whole thing just left me feeling uneasy and I wonder if she was intoxicated. She kept forgetting really silly things and it reminded me of how I used to be after I had been drinking. Last time I had talked to her she said she was trying to moderate. She isn't interested in AA (she thought reading the book was enough), and she wasn't interested in this website after I told her about it. She wants to do lunch sometime, but today I'm feeling like I don't want to be associated with her. I don't mean to sound snobby, but I just don't want to be around people who aren't actively at least trying to help themselves. I have always been very bad at making friends and I've never been picky about my friends. I've been known to hang out with the wrong crowd and it has been detrimental to me in the past. Ever since rehab this lady has gotten a DUI, attempted to commit suicide, and is still trying to moderate her alcohol consumption. She isn't getting any therapy and isn't involved in any sort of self help groups. Plus, I just don't know if I want to take a stroll down memory lane about my rehab experience. Although it was helpful and I'm very grateful for the people there, it was a very humiliating experience for me. If she ever wanted to reach out to me and ask for some resources on how to get sober, I'd love to help her. She's a very sweet lady, and I don't have many friends, but I feel like I'm going to have to set some boundaries on this one. What do you all think? Am I overreacting?

huntingtontx

Not overreacting. You have to protect your sobriety at all costs, and you know she is still drinking and has a drinking problem. Sounds like trouble looking for a place to happen. You can still be there for her if she calls for help. Just my opinion.

ScottFromWI

I don't think you are overreacting at all, It sounds to me like you are being smart and trying to protect your sobriety. If she wants to meet you at an AA meeting fine, but quite frankly she's probably looking for another drinking buddy again.

SoberLeigh

Lulu, I think that you need to do what is best for your sobriety and, to me at least, she doesn't sound like she would be a good fit.

It sounds like you have already come to this conclusion; right????

resolute50

You asked and here's my opinion.

Follow your gut instinct and stay away.

MyTime86

If she's not a person you want to be around, then don't. Not everyone clicks, it's not being mean it's just the way it is

SoberLife2014

Thank you all for your replies. I've never been one to turn a friend away, and I don't ever want to do something mean, but my gut instinct says that something is wrong with this. Something was off when I talked to her. I'm in a really good place right now and I want to keep it that way.

Olive1

Hi Lulu,
The exact same thing happened with me. Someone I met in rehab, we graduated around the same time, she lived nearby, we decided to stay in touch.
We stayed connected by phone for a while, and then attending the occasional meeting together with coffee after. But she kept relapsing and relapsing. I told her that I couldn't be around her at all if she was drinking, it was too risky for me. She said she understood. She would sometimes give me a call during her intermittent sober stretches and we would catch up a little, but we never got together after that. She finally got sober a few years back and I am very happy for her, she seems to be doing well. We don't stay in touch that much anymore.

I agree with the others, do what your gut tells you.