Dan1888

I havent drank for almost 1 month now but Ive been thinking about drink a lot over the last few days and been thinking to myself how I could really do with a drink. It hasnt got to the point where I have had a massive urge to drink but I can feel it creeping up on me.

Ive had this feeling building up inside me before over a period of a few days and it normally leads to me having a massive urge to drink at some point, in the past I have normally given in to the urge.

Its Wednesday today and due to past experiences when I have had this feeling I can almost guarantee that come the weekend I will be gasping for a drink. I get urges to drink like everyone else that last about an hour and I can ride them out. The problem with this slow building feeling is I feel it wont go away till I drink and it will only get worse unless I drink.

This weekend is going to be a struggle, I can see it coming.

doggonecarl

There is such a thing as a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you can identify the signs that a relapse is coming and you don't want to drink, you muster all your forces and work to prevent it from happening.

If you want to relaspe, you guarantee to yourself that you'll be drinking.

Persys

I know that I used to talk myself into a drink over a period of a few days or weeks, each day telling myself that I am barely holding on (and the next day was the same). In reality, I was slowly justifying having a drink through this crazy thought process.

Right now you have not drank yet and that is awesome. Have you thought about a plan for this weekend? Have you ever thought about going to some type of recovery meeting? Those have helped me massively when I know I am struggling.

The part where you said it won't go away and will only get worse until you drink is the alcoholism talking. That is insane thinking and it is not true. Your alcoholic brain wants you to drink, and your alcoholic brain is trying to trick you into drinking by telling you that the urge will not go away.

FeenixxRising

Yes.

But cravings won't kill you or hurt you, and they cannot control you unless you let them. You know you're having thoughts of drinking, so you have time to address the issue rather than suffering through a relapse. I hope you do address the thoughts; believe me, ignoring the urges will cause less pain than the pain and anguish you will almost certainly suffer through if you do decide to drink.

huntingtontx

No one said it would be easy to quit, but it can be done. One day at a time. Don't pick up the first drink, no matter what. These work. As time passes so does the urge to drink. You can do this. We are all here for you. YES!!! It does get easier.

Thepatman

Trust me friend, nothing good will come out of picking up.

I relapsed last weekend and on day 1. I made the mistake and now paying for it. The anxiety is terrible.

You can do this, just make a plan for your weekend. Believe me, sitting on the couch and thinking about drinking is not a good idea.

Holli

I made it 3 weeks before I failed, and I sooooo regret it! Then I had a few false starts. Now I'm on day 5 and I am determined to make it stick. So don't do what I did. :-)

HopefulFaithful

It has been so many years for me since i was in your shoes. But.. I always thought of how I drank and drove and how lucky I was that no one died .. how close it was.. to either my own death or killing and innocent person with the car...
Get your own personal scary story ready in your head and stop yourself is my advice.
I will be praying for you!

karate

I can only speak for what works for me ,But once im home .

Im not going back for beer ,And its a mile away .

LBrain

The short answer is YES. But if you can recognize it then you can do something about it. There was a relapse prevention workbook my wife wanted me to buy at rehab. nyet! I just looked on line and it's double the price.
google 'relapse prevention' there are a few sources you can download copies to use techniques that help identify "pre" relapse behaviors.
This is a very helpful tool. Recognition is the main thing. Taking the steps to alter your thinking/behaviors comes next. Once you remove yourself from that situation you should be able to hold your own as far as not drinking, assuming you are already on solid ground.

Also look at what I posted on the newcomer forum about CALM

gaffo

This is one reason I found counting days to be useful in the beginning--why throw away twenty something days?

Dee74

If you feel a storm brewing - head for shelter.

If you don't have much in the way of 'shelter' (meaning support to help you stay sober) then now is a great time to start looking Dan

Relapse is not inevitable - if you're prepared to work hard enough to stay sober.

Redmayne

After my alcoholism was taken from me, by way of having, what I've had to accept was a 'psychic or spiritual experience, there being no other explanation forthcoming. Six years ago...

And knowing that I'm a 'real alcoholic' - see Chapter 3 , 'More On Alcoholism' in the 'Big Book'...I found that at intermittent intervals, often when not big things happened, but a number of small irritations, combined together to disturb my state of mind...my mind and body, if I allowed it would end up screaming for a drink.

On the first few occasions, which thankfully occurred on an irregular basis. In a controlled way, I let this happen.

All it did, was make me feel ill and uncomfortable, but strangely it 'stilled my mind' although if there's an constructive alternative on offer. I wouldn't recommend it, I live a rather lonely, isolated existence, and I recall hearing on a 'Clancy' tape. Which describes me and my alcoholism, particularly what being a 'real alcoholic' means.

Have to drink, although noticeably, as the quality, not necessarily the length of my sobriety has improved. These occasions no longer arise, in truth I never think about alcohol, in any situation now...I do think about my sobriety.

FreddyBear

Just wanted to add my $0.02. My relapse builds up from loneliness and boredom. The final point is when I just stop caring about everything. I'm a single male of 32 who never had real friends or a girlfriend, no matter how hard I try. The pain of being rejected and years of effort that have been spent in trying to make friends and gain relationships lead me to conclusion it's not worth it anymore. Men with no friends or without developed social life get rejected by women right away. The first step is I usually stop caring about my appearance, then stop eating right (what for?), quit the gym and gain weight. And here comes the point familiar to many: "The hell with it", let's drink this life away, I have really nothing to lose.

I'm 2 months sober as of today, but I just don't know what else to try and get out of this rut.

Back2Basics

Being honest is a great start. I know it was hard as hell for me to admit to people the truth of how I felt. Especially when it came to my urges and cravings.
Maybe, consider checking out a 12 Step meeting so you can be around other drunks and addicts who are looking to do the right thing. You may be able to find someone who can relate. Also, trying to help others who are struggling to stay sober, those who have less time than you (or maybe more) can help too. I know getting out of my own head always helps me.

Dee74

What have you done to try and change things Freddie?

D

RobbyRobot

Hey Dan,

It might be helpful for you to re-visit not your feelings on drinking as much as your mind-set on setting yourself up to make that final choice to justify yourself into some actual drinking.

The last line says it all: "it will only get worse unless I have a drink"

With these kind of word choices, your statements read more like a guy who is mentally obsessed with that next drink and not a guy who is driven by feelings for that same drink.

Just my opinion, but it looks to me like you return to drinking in a way that allows you to "think" you're being carried by your unstoppable feelings, when in fact your attempting to jack up your feelings to match your ideations on drinking.

For me, my thinking "it will only get worse unless I have a drink" is totally alcoholic mind-set at its best (worse). Your being owned.

As we all know, nothing about drinking makes anything better. We can delude ourselves, but this delusion doesn't make it so.

Food for thought, man. You can turn this around at anytime...

freshstart57

It will always get worse if I drink. Nothing can ever get better while I drink. I can never get better if I drink. My feelings about my life are due to my perceptions and assumptions, but those three things are true no matter what.

When you make these same realizations, you will stop having some 'relapse' magically building up inside. What is really happening is that you are actively planning to drink. Your brain's pleasure center still believes that this will be a relief, that this will somehow improve things even for an hour. These are lies.

It is time for us at some point to make our own plan for ever using alcohol again. Are you ready to make yours?

ForMeForThem

Yes, that was my pattern for a good part of a year. If I let those thoughts take up too much space in my head, if I let that internal argument go on for too long, it would build and take on a life of it's own, until the inevitable would happen, I would get tired of the battle and give in. I allowed that internal argument to go on many times, knowing what was going to happen, on some level wanting to relapse I guess. Now, I shut those thoughts down fast, don't give them power or space in my head, because if I do it's just a matter of time.

You recognize it's happening, that's a good thing. Now if you really don't want to drink this weekend, try to stop the thoughts, tell yourself you are not drinking and think about what you will do instead. You can take the power away from those thoughts and you don't have to act on them. It's tiring, I know, but the more you do it the easier it gets.

LBrain

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