Is a relapse expected by most people?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by Dan1888 
If you think its ok to have a relapse and kind of expect it then you will have one. Dont think you are "allowed" a relapse. Remember a relapse could send you spiraling into chronic alcoholism that you may never get out of.
Do everything to make sure you dont have one, but if you do, make sure it doesnt happen again.
Do everything to make sure you dont have one, but if you do, make sure it doesnt happen again.
Really interesting replies to my thread, thank you all very much for your valued input, I much like you all know I cannot afford to allow a relapse and strive every day to be strong,upbeat and honest with myself. I have realised that any time I crave or have craved a drink it is because I am feeling low for some reason but realising this makes it easier and I try my very best to be a positive person. Thanks again guys really appreciate you all.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by Stoogy
I have realised that any time I crave or have craved a drink it is because I am feeling low for some reason but realising this makes it easier and I try my very best to be a positive person.
Drinking because of an emotional low is based on the lie that the alcohol will improve the mood. It doesn't. Instead, it drives us lower and deeper into depression.
A permanent sobriety needs to be unconditional. If it depends on your mood, or external events outside of your control, or some aspect of your health be it physical, mental, or spiritual, you cannot be sober for good.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
Fresh start,
There are people sober for good who disagree with you. Whose experience is otherwise.
They are sober for good and attribute it to the condition of their spiritual health
Just to say it is incorrect to say you CANNOT be sober for good if it depends on that.
There are people sober for good who disagree with you. Whose experience is otherwise.
They are sober for good and attribute it to the condition of their spiritual health
Just to say it is incorrect to say you CANNOT be sober for good if it depends on that.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Yes, the act of quitting must be (works best if) unconditional, but the journey forward can be as personal and conditional as any one may choose, and so these lifestyle choices do not have to all be unconditional. Sobriety is a total subjective experience.
Speaking for myself, my quit back in 1981 is absolutely unconditional, and my sobriety journey has conditions. What's not to love?
Its all very doable.
Speaking for myself, my quit back in 1981 is absolutely unconditional, and my sobriety journey has conditions. What's not to love?
Its all very doable.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: London Uk
Posts: 65
I relapsed after 5 years sobriety. I did not plan it, I did not foresee it, but when I lifted the bottle to my mouth I took just one swig, and then spat it straight out.
I think we guard against a relapse one day at a time. None of us know what we will do tomorrow.
I think we guard against a relapse one day at a time. None of us know what we will do tomorrow.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,506
Originally Posted by pixy
I relapsed after 5 years sobriety. I did not plan it, I did not foresee it, but when I lifted the bottle to my mouth I took just one swig, and then spat it straight out.
I think we guard against a relapse one day at a time. None of us know what we will do tomorrow.
I think we guard against a relapse one day at a time. None of us know what we will do tomorrow.
Hi Pixy, wise words indeed.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by Stoogy
Hope you all are having a nice (sober) weekend, just been noticing some various posts regarding the possibility of relapses due to certain situations and was wondering, how many of us "expect" a relapse to take place? I must admit I do not expect a relapse at all and the only reason I say this is because if I did expect it to take place it would make me think it's the norm and that would make it all far too easy to give it to the pulling power of those magnetic bottles!!
For anyone not sure of my history, I have drank heavily every day until my mid to late 30's and gave up for the first and hopefully only time just around 5 months ago. I am not a special case by any stretch of the imagination but I truly believe mental strength can overcome any obstacle placed in front of us if you just want it enough.
This amazing forum has helped me so much and I value each and every person who contributes and changes people lives for the better.
For anyone not sure of my history, I have drank heavily every day until my mid to late 30's and gave up for the first and hopefully only time just around 5 months ago. I am not a special case by any stretch of the imagination but I truly believe mental strength can overcome any obstacle placed in front of us if you just want it enough.
This amazing forum has helped me so much and I value each and every person who contributes and changes people lives for the better.
At the same time, the other side of that double-edged sword is, if one does slip up, how much should they beat themselves up over it? I recall when I first joined here after a slip-up I got a few less than stellar responses toward the fact that I stated I wasn't going to beat myself up over it. (Much anyway) I honestly did not get up one day and decide to just destroy the life I was living at the time.
My brother on the other hand, was told to expect it while in an in-house program and has used it as a crutch to continue drinking.
Is there a happy medium?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Since I quit this January, I've been trying to view this as a sort of life or death question. I'm really not the kind of person who tends to see things in black & white, but I like to approach sobriety this way. Two choices. While I completely understand the idea of "one day at a time", in my case I find it useful to think long term and make a definitive decision about this. Otherwise I find myself obsessing about it, what if... tomorrow... that causes anxiety to me. Again, I guess it's just me.
Apart from that, of course I fear relapse. This is why I find it very useful to read the struggle stories here on SR, as reminders there is a chance for it. But as far as possible, I'm trying to not dwell on that possibility as that's not helpful.
Apart from that, of course I fear relapse. This is why I find it very useful to read the struggle stories here on SR, as reminders there is a chance for it. But as far as possible, I'm trying to not dwell on that possibility as that's not helpful.
Woe is Moo.
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,746
Seems like this questions come down to: like any other addiction, there always possibility to relapse, but "why do you ask?" Is you asking for permissions, for preparations, for 'get out of drunk free' card?
Maybe better questions is "What it first sign you headed to relapse? And what is best thing to do RIGHT THEN?"
Maybe better questions is "What it first sign you headed to relapse? And what is best thing to do RIGHT THEN?"
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