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Join Date: Apr 2014
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New to this.
Just hit 50 days sober today. Everyday hasn't been hard but some days are extremely hard. All of my friends drink and it becomes so hard to be around them although they are actually good friends. They don't pressure me to drink but the cravings come when I am around them. Anyone been through this?
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 5,937
Yeah, it's pretty normal. When you drink a lot it's natural to hang around with other people that drink a lot. Probably because it makes you feel less like a lush, and who else would want to hang out with a drunk person? When you quit it upsets the apple cart- you might have been the guy that made the other guys feel like they really aren't all that bad.
Life will change with sobriety. Your friends and sometimes your family will change. Generally it's for the better but it takes some adjustment.
Life will change with sobriety. Your friends and sometimes your family will change. Generally it's for the better but it takes some adjustment.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 183
Hatchman -
I have about 100 days, and I had built my life around drinking, pretty much. I was a weekend binger. I still am around these people on the weekends, and at first, when the utter disgust I had for myself, and what drinking was doing to my mind and behavior was high, it was easy to not drink around them. I was just so done with it. Now, that I've hit 3 months, and the bad memories are fading a bit - it's been harder the last couple of weekends. I find myself getting 'jealous' of them that they can drink. I get really irritated, when I try to have a conversation with any of these people, and because they are drunk, they usually cannot focus on anything I'm saying, or one drunk person gets continually interrupted by the next drunk person I'm trying to talk to, or someone starts blasting music - and I feel very isolated in a crowd of people. They are all in this other world that I am not in. I find myself just wanting to go to bed, and wanting to get away from them all. THEN - they in turn start saying, "I bet it SUCKS being the only sober person with a bunch of drunks, huh?" Um - yes. It does. It totally sucks. Because the part of you people that is drunk is speaking directly to the part of me that wants to be drunk. And it sucks even more because the irony is not lost on me that I can't even respond to that question and be heard, because they're not really talking TO me, they're basically just blurting stuff out in my general direction, and can't comprehend what I'm saying anyway.
So - why do I put myself in this circumstance...good question, and I'm still working through that. I think it's about learning what ELSE to do instead of the old patterns. Like, if I suddenly turned vegetarian, I literally would not know what to eat instead! I'm in that phase of staring at my plate, and not knowing what else to eat. I'll make it - it's a stage, and I'm growing, learning and observing.
When I'm not being jealous of their ability to drink, I can't help but think how awful they will feel the next day, while I will spring out of bed, rested and happy. I watch how much they drink, how they quickly become hammered and not themselves. I'm glad that I remember every word I say now, and every subtle nuance of every situation that I'm involved in.
It's not easy - but it is worth it.
I have about 100 days, and I had built my life around drinking, pretty much. I was a weekend binger. I still am around these people on the weekends, and at first, when the utter disgust I had for myself, and what drinking was doing to my mind and behavior was high, it was easy to not drink around them. I was just so done with it. Now, that I've hit 3 months, and the bad memories are fading a bit - it's been harder the last couple of weekends. I find myself getting 'jealous' of them that they can drink. I get really irritated, when I try to have a conversation with any of these people, and because they are drunk, they usually cannot focus on anything I'm saying, or one drunk person gets continually interrupted by the next drunk person I'm trying to talk to, or someone starts blasting music - and I feel very isolated in a crowd of people. They are all in this other world that I am not in. I find myself just wanting to go to bed, and wanting to get away from them all. THEN - they in turn start saying, "I bet it SUCKS being the only sober person with a bunch of drunks, huh?" Um - yes. It does. It totally sucks. Because the part of you people that is drunk is speaking directly to the part of me that wants to be drunk. And it sucks even more because the irony is not lost on me that I can't even respond to that question and be heard, because they're not really talking TO me, they're basically just blurting stuff out in my general direction, and can't comprehend what I'm saying anyway.
So - why do I put myself in this circumstance...good question, and I'm still working through that. I think it's about learning what ELSE to do instead of the old patterns. Like, if I suddenly turned vegetarian, I literally would not know what to eat instead! I'm in that phase of staring at my plate, and not knowing what else to eat. I'll make it - it's a stage, and I'm growing, learning and observing.
When I'm not being jealous of their ability to drink, I can't help but think how awful they will feel the next day, while I will spring out of bed, rested and happy. I watch how much they drink, how they quickly become hammered and not themselves. I'm glad that I remember every word I say now, and every subtle nuance of every situation that I'm involved in.
It's not easy - but it is worth it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Good to hear your friends don't pressure you. I could never have expected that sort of support from my own mates.
I don't see them at all these days. Marriage, kids and middle age for you.
The cravings will ease off with time. You'll also notice how much fun it is to go out and not drink once you feel comfortable being in a room full of drunk people without being drunk yourself. I wish sobriety was something I discovered when I was a young single bloke out there chasing women.
I don't see them at all these days. Marriage, kids and middle age for you.
The cravings will ease off with time. You'll also notice how much fun it is to go out and not drink once you feel comfortable being in a room full of drunk people without being drunk yourself. I wish sobriety was something I discovered when I was a young single bloke out there chasing women.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Oxford
Posts: 1
Well done, it gives me faith, today is my day….I used to drink alot but it has increased slowly, maintaining 2 bottles of wine a night passing out, and hiding hangovers from other mums on the school run, anxiety depression and agraphobia and loss of self esteem a big knockback from the alcohol, have decided I want to be like the other people….and start living……joining this site today and reading your posts has given me faith, I can only step day by day but know its possible….Thanksx
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I just came back from a trip to my home town. Someone posted my plans on FB so I ended up seeing a bunch of my old high school friends and watching them drink. After almost three years sober it just made me glad that I don't do that anymore, especially the after dinner wine abuse that I used to do. I even used to smoke a bunch of cigs with that. Ick! How did I even get out of bed? Oh yeah, feeling bad and acting like "no big deal" let's get some cocktails. In the first year I would not have put myself in that position.
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