Help!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Ontario
Posts: 392
Help!
Dear SR Friends,
I am hurting a lot right now. I have somehow managed to stay sober, but mental and emotional challenges seems to be hitting me one after the other. My grandmother, who emotionally crippled my late mother died this week and one of my favourite relatives was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Pain from the past is rearing its ugly head. I have exams to write tomorrow and challenges to overcome. I feel like running away often. I want to focus on what I have to be grateful for but the negativity keeps coming. I want to cry and mourn but I don’t feel like I am allowed. I just want things to be good. My anger is clouding my thinking. I am getting so tired of being strong.
Not drinking has become a habit but my desire to escape is prevalent and worrisome. I am running some kind of marathon but the finish line is nowhere in sight. I am all twisted up inside. Life is hard right now. Please, please send me any encouragement or prayers you have in your heart. I need strength and hope.
Love,
Flying4Life
I am hurting a lot right now. I have somehow managed to stay sober, but mental and emotional challenges seems to be hitting me one after the other. My grandmother, who emotionally crippled my late mother died this week and one of my favourite relatives was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Pain from the past is rearing its ugly head. I have exams to write tomorrow and challenges to overcome. I feel like running away often. I want to focus on what I have to be grateful for but the negativity keeps coming. I want to cry and mourn but I don’t feel like I am allowed. I just want things to be good. My anger is clouding my thinking. I am getting so tired of being strong.
Not drinking has become a habit but my desire to escape is prevalent and worrisome. I am running some kind of marathon but the finish line is nowhere in sight. I am all twisted up inside. Life is hard right now. Please, please send me any encouragement or prayers you have in your heart. I need strength and hope.
Love,
Flying4Life
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
I'm sorry for your pain and sadness Flying.
One of the hardest parts of early recovery is learning that feeling pain, or grief or fear, or stress are all perfectly normal reactions to events.
We drank those feelings away so long I think we forget that sometimes.
Sometimes things are not good - and it's ok, in fact it's healthy, to respond to that.
the more we face and get through sober, not only does our recovery grow...but we do too
If schoolwork is suffering why not approach your teacher about the things you have happening?
D
One of the hardest parts of early recovery is learning that feeling pain, or grief or fear, or stress are all perfectly normal reactions to events.
We drank those feelings away so long I think we forget that sometimes.
Sometimes things are not good - and it's ok, in fact it's healthy, to respond to that.
the more we face and get through sober, not only does our recovery grow...but we do too
If schoolwork is suffering why not approach your teacher about the things you have happening?
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: New York
Posts: 335
Hi Flying4Life, sounds like you are under a lot of stress and feeling overwhelmed. Give yourself some time to just feel the sorrow and the feelings even if they are painful, cry if you have to. Take a warm bath or a hot shower, go for a brisk walk, it will change your perpective. Life has its ups and downs and it is normal to feel them. I can guarantee that drinking will not improve your situation, it will numb your feelings and put you back into the viscious cycle of addiction.
Stay strong and glad you came here
Stay strong and glad you came here
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
You have several pressing challenges, Flying4Life. It's important that you be gentle with yourself since circumstances alone will not give you that. I hope that you can allow yourself to feel all that you're feeling.
I was in graduate school when I was sober, and experienced a sudden, unexpected loss. I sat for one of my exams the very next day and, though I was prepared, nothing made sense to me, including my own writing. I was heartbroken, and didn't even care about the exam or anything else of practical consequence in my life.
I finally gave up and spoke with my professor, offering to take the exam at a later date. He didn't tell me at the time, but he just gave me a 'B' as my grade, and never asked me to retake the exam.
People have a great capacity for compassion when we open up and allow them to know what we're going through, just as you've done here on SR.
I was in graduate school when I was sober, and experienced a sudden, unexpected loss. I sat for one of my exams the very next day and, though I was prepared, nothing made sense to me, including my own writing. I was heartbroken, and didn't even care about the exam or anything else of practical consequence in my life.
I finally gave up and spoke with my professor, offering to take the exam at a later date. He didn't tell me at the time, but he just gave me a 'B' as my grade, and never asked me to retake the exam.
People have a great capacity for compassion when we open up and allow them to know what we're going through, just as you've done here on SR.
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