strongly disagreed with sponsor on something she said today
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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strongly disagreed with sponsor on something she said today
I disagreed with something my sponsor told me today regarding a situation. Part of what she says may be true but I don't agree with her entirely. This is the first time I feel this way. It has been eating away at me since I got home after talking with her. I need to think and pray and meditate on this. I agreed with one other thing she had to say. She told me to be happy joyous and free not compartmentalize my life so much. That I am working on. I realize I don't have to agree with my sponsor on everything. My gut feeling tells me she may be wrong on this one. I still think she is a wonderful sponsor and is great for me.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Midwest
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I guess there have been things I have disagreed with my sponsor too. In the end I decided to keep an open mind and consider she may be right. Give it time and maybe that's the case. Also give it time and she may come and say she was wrong.
Having a great sponsor is my lifeline. If I disagree, I remember I don't know everything and I trust her judgement. Pretty spot on so far...we are both human though. LOL
Having a great sponsor is my lifeline. If I disagree, I remember I don't know everything and I trust her judgement. Pretty spot on so far...we are both human though. LOL
I have a great sponsor. I trust her and she supports me even when I make mistakes.
There has been a time she has apologized to me when she felt what she said or her actions were wrong. I respect that.
Lately I have wanted to do my own thing and I have not asked her opinion or for her guidance because I knew what her response would be and the reason I knew was because it didn't feel right to me either but I didn't want someone else confirming what I already knew. I basically didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear the truth.
I have since talked to her about it and not only confirmed what I knew but got some guidance on were to go from here. Sometimes I don't want to hear the truth from someone else because then it makes it real. I can't twirl it in my head anymore making justifications or making it acceptable. I can do that in my head but not someone else's and she will tell me the truth, no sugar on top.
I am not saying that is what has happened in your case, I guess just sharing my experience.
There has been a time she has apologized to me when she felt what she said or her actions were wrong. I respect that.
Lately I have wanted to do my own thing and I have not asked her opinion or for her guidance because I knew what her response would be and the reason I knew was because it didn't feel right to me either but I didn't want someone else confirming what I already knew. I basically didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to hear the truth.
I have since talked to her about it and not only confirmed what I knew but got some guidance on were to go from here. Sometimes I don't want to hear the truth from someone else because then it makes it real. I can't twirl it in my head anymore making justifications or making it acceptable. I can do that in my head but not someone else's and she will tell me the truth, no sugar on top.
I am not saying that is what has happened in your case, I guess just sharing my experience.
I have been sober 6 years
in the beginning of my sobriety I was beat up and down
I agreed with him on most everything
but
we agree a little less today and that's ok
the old sober man has spent a lot of time with me over the years
yes good moral sponsors are hard to find
MM
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
This is in regards to a friend. I can't go into details because what if this friend is on here and reads this could be bad. I feel my sponsors judgement is clouded on this particular issue because she is also one of her sponsee's.
AH! reads like someone thinks they know whats better for another person.
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work
read more of the solution in the big book
follow through witht he steps and find out why this is bothering you
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work
read more of the solution in the big book
follow through witht he steps and find out why this is bothering you
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
AH! reads like someone thinks they know whats better for another person.
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work
read more of the solution in the big book
follow through witht he steps and find out why this is bothering you
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good.
What usually happens? The show doesn't come off very well.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making
This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn't work
read more of the solution in the big book
follow through witht he steps and find out why this is bothering you
Sounds like giving someone a ride is a small bit of service work. If it isn't convenient, you need to say so, but if it doesn't cause you to miss other engagements I think it is a good thing for us to do selfless acts expecting nothing in return.
A sponsor is a mantor, not a boss. My sponsor has been sober so long I think moses was his sponsor, so when he says something I don't agree with, while i acknowledge that I try to take action according to how he sees things. Too often for my liking, I wind up learning something I never would have seen had I just ignored him.
For me, realizing that you sponsor makes mistakes or allowing yourself to hold an alternative view often signifies the beginnings of taking responsibility and of emotional maturity.
Bit like when you start to realize as a young adult that Dad is fallible and not superhuman..
Bit like when you start to realize as a young adult that Dad is fallible and not superhuman..
Your friend sounds like maybe she isn't in a position yet to treat you how you would like/be expected to be treated. She may still be very sick, even if she is sober. I applaud your decision to wait it out.
We are here if you need us.
We are here if you need us.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 464
Im going back to therapy again I have come to realize that I am still screwed up in the head and my way of thinking. There are some things my sponsor can't help me with. I did send that girl a text message this morning and offer to pick her up for a meeting. Im not going to expect anything in return even friendship if it happens it does.
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