dbillyd

Hi all,

I'll be 300 days tomorrow and I've been thinking more and more about whether I can drink moderately in the future if I set myself some strict rules.

I'm going to stay sober for at least a year so got 65 days to think about this.

Anyone else manage to moderate their drinking successfully?

awuh1

Towards the end of your drinking, were YOU able to moderate your drinking? All of the time? If not, your chances are slim to none IMO. There seems to be a line that many of us cross. It becomes difficult to impossible to moderate.

What's the point of having one drink anyway?

Dee74

Hi dbillyd

A lot of people seem to confuse abstinence with control.

You've abstained from alcohol for 300 days but I'm willing to wager you haven't gained control over it....in fact when I looked back at your posts I see you've tried periods of abstinence a few times before.

Nothing will have changed with you and alcohol dbillyd.

Has this year sober been a good one for you?

D

Michael66

Hi dbillyd

I empathise. I went for a year sober and then was tempted to see if I could drink moderately, having 'reset' my system. Personally I couldn't, and it took me several years to get sober again, knowing this time around it is a lifetime choice and commitment (and I'm very happy with that now).

If you think you need to set yourself strict rules, then I suspect you have an answer there (other people don't need to set rules).

Well done on 300 days!

LadyinBC

People who don't have a problem with drinking, don't set strict rules for themselves in regards to moderating. Those of us that do have issues with drinking become obsessed with this.

The fact you are posting about this should raise a big flag for you. I'm not judging you, just make sure that you are not setting yourself up for a relapse.

It is not uncommon to have these thoughts when you are coming up to a milestone or have some sobriety under your belt. Sometimes we tend to forget how bad it got and the reason we quit.

DarkDays

Moderation throws you back into the pit of despair . Planning obsessing thinking about drinking 24/7 sounds like great fun.

For me the only way was to know that I will never ever drink again and to embrace it, sobriety is so cool just keeps on giving .

Good luck .

KateL

It was impossible for me to moderate xxxx

alwayssober1

The more I drink the better buzz I have, i liked the feeling after the 4th can of beer onwards, stopping at 2 drinks for me was like only having a few bites of a delicious meal..near impossible!

sugarbear1

why not go back and read some of your old posts?

Nevertheless

I usually thought I could drink like a normal person not long after I quit. Sometimes it took longer than others.
But I was kidding myself. The only reason I drank was to get drunk. How could I possibly "moderate" when my reason for drinking was to get hammered?

Fred

Ryno03272009

WHO cares to admit complete defeat? Practically no one, of course. Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of personal powerlessness. It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand, we have warped our minds into such an obsession for destructive drinking that only an act of Provi- dence can remove it from us.

By going back in our own drinking histories, we could show that years before we realized it we were out of control, that our drinking even then was no mere habit, that it was indeed the beginning of a fatal progression.

To the doubters we could say, “Perhaps you’re not an alcoholic after all. Why don’t you try some more controlled drinking, bearing in mind meanwhile what we have told you about alcoholism?”

This attitude brought immediate and practical results. It was then discovered that when one alcoholic had planted in the mind of another the true nature of his malady, that person could never be the same again. Following every spree, he would say to himself, “Maybe those A.A.’s were right....” After a few such experiences, often years before the onset of extreme difficulties, he would return to us convinced. He had hit bottom as truly as any of us.

-----The above is a quote taken from Step One of AA. Although I personally do not suggest drinking again, if its something you feel is necessary then it may ultimately help you realize (when you drink again) that alcohol and your life should not mix. Its better to remove alcohol and to slowly remove ones life and well being.

JasonnB

I can only speak from my personal experience, I have been in the exact same mind state you are in right now and went back to drinking really believing that I can drink in moderation. Everytime I hit the sudden realization that this is impossible for me. I would literally start right where I left off with my addiction.

I'm no expert, but I think you should try to really dig deep and remember why you stopped drinking 300 days ago. That's a very long time and can be easy to forget.

Anyways, congrats on 300 days!

SoberLeigh

I tried moderation over and over again for years. Total failure.

Elisabeth888

Please don't do it. You aren't cured.

I drank after 13 months for three weeks and I had to go to detox. It DOES NOT get better.

I feel so messed up by those three weeks and I didn't get into any trouble. It is like a black hole.

Now I have to start ALL OVER on the steps. I was on Step 11.

IT SUCKS!!!!

zjw

I think about drinking again a lot. But I also think would it be another decade or more before i got sober again? I somehow got out of the pit this time but what if i dont get out next time?

its a big risk. I've had to just accept the fact taht I cant drink its like I'm alergic to the stuff. I mean would you stick your bare hand in a beehive for honey thinking maybe you wont get stung this time? Your thinking is irrational.

jkb

I tried moderation when I had a little over 8 months sober. I went out one night on vacation and decided to have a few beers. I managed to have 7-8 or so over about a 5 hour period. However, what happened for me was that when it was time to stop drinking my brain screamed "MORE!!!!!!!!!!!". I dumped out the beer I was drinking and grabbed a sprite. It wasn't worth fighting my brain to be "moderate" and it wasn't fun because I was preoccupied with the idea of "MORE".

I am grateful that I have not had another drinking episode since then (5 months ago). I believe that I could probably teach myself to drink in a moderate way but, that it would be so miserable the whole time I was doing it that I could never enjoy it. Also, I fear that I would eventually just end up giving in and "letting loose" which could lead to many terrible things for me.

My brain has no reset button and after that experience I now realize the "off button" is permanently broken.

I will never be a moderate drinker and I am becoming ok with that concept.

Jess

zjw

yeah I'd like to think i could train myself to be moderate but it would not be fun. Its not like gee i'm thirsty I'll have A glass of water and clench my thirst. Or gee something to drink and wash my dinner down with. No its not like that at all for me. Its drink until total anialation or dont drink at all there is no in between and if I try and moderate my brain starts fighting me big time. I've driven drunk to that MORE i needed *sigh* there is no rational thought going on once it starts.

Biskits

dbillyd, I agree with Dee. You should hop on chat so we can talk about it!

freshstart57

Lots of folks in this thread are asking you why you quit drinking in the first place. I don't think your answer is there at all.

I suggest instead you ask yourself this question: Why do you want to resume drinking? I believe your way forward will be clear once you answer this one.

Greenwood618

One reason moderation doesn't work for problem drinkers is an X factor few consider: speed. Normal people sip drinks, chat, eat, etc. hard drinkers guzzle, at an average rate of about a unit per 15 minutes. So unless you want to be in and out in 45 mins, I would forget about it. Normal people drink a little while mostly doing something else. Drunks are in it to get wasted, so they shouldn't even start.