least

Even if I had a guarantee that I could drink "normally" I wouldn't do it cause I like my sober life too much to give it up.

Hevyn

Hey dbilly. To answer your question - No. I tried everything to become a social drinker. I wanted desperately to hold on to the fun it once was. It's easy to remember the good times and forget the hell we went through at the end.

I was completely dependent on it when I came to SR. It had gone from being enjoyable to a necessity. There was no way I could go back to having a few once in awhile. Each time it got in my system unpredictable things happened. I had to let it go and rethink how I wanted to live my life. Alcohol couldn't be a part of it ever again. I agree with Least - I like my sober life too much to ever go back to being numb & foggy.

I'm glad you wanted to talk this over. Congratulations on your 300 days - that's wonderful.

Stoogy

Hi Dbillyd, there is a lot of good advice right here, all based on real life experiences which no doubt caused a whole lot of tear shed and pain for all involved. No one knows better than you what your limitations are mentally and if you honestly think you can moderate and be in control then no doubt you can, just take the next 65 days to think about all those early days of uncomfort and withdrawal as you have a lot to loose should you be unsure.
Wishing you well
Stuart.

dbillyd

Cheers for all the advice guys.

I suppose my motivations to drink are partly to avoid the awkward feelings I still have in some social situations when I'm not drinking and partly because I'd like to have that 'being drunk' feeling again. I definitely don't want to drink at home or when I'm travelling with work or on holiday again.

I'm also thinking that as I've done 300 days now, I can do it again if moderate drinking goes wrong. I feel I now know how to give up.

Dangerous thinking I know.

zjw

curiosity killed the cat.

But I can relate. I'd love to get drunk again I wont lie. But I dont wanna go through the hell i went through for the few hours of good times no thanks.

You gotta be careful not to get too over confident or feel you can dabble cause you got this licked or feel you can dabble because you'd just like to feel that feeling again. Its a slipperly slope. Sure you can go for the slide if you want too but theres a reason you decided to quit to begin with i'd imagine nothings changed.

mavrick

I thought I could moderate my drinking after 12 months sober....
It took me 7 years to get sober again.
just think back to your last drink or how bad things had become when you were in the grip of alcoho.lf you take a drink that's what's waiting for you and much worse.

Congratulations on 300 days.

yeahgr8

You could choose to get some help for the ongoing emotional and situational issues rather than going back to alcohol which will once again end in the same conclusion.

I know I keep harping on about it but unless we change there is little chance of sobriety or contentment.

2muchpain

yeah, I tried it after being sober for three years, than after one year. Didn't work big time.

DancingDiva

Go check out the April 2014 class thread in the newcomers forum - that might help you have a better picture of what you might face starting over, if you make it back.

I had almost three years sober and I was CONVINCED that I could now handle it. Took about six months for it to get way worse than it ever was, then another six months to hit desperation. I have been trying to claw my sobriety back for awhile now and still can't string together more than a week. Please don't do this to yourself.

Sudz No More

A good example I hope you can use is smoking, if you have ever quit smoking and then decided to have just one. I am betting really good odds that you got hooked on cigarettes again. For an alcoholic the same is true with drinking. You just don't realize it now because you have been away from its clutches for so long.

Don't do it, you will regret it.

soberbythesea

Yeah I did this. The first time I tried to get sober I had 8 months, then convinced myself I could drink moderately if I just gave it another try.

It wasn't long before I was back to all out drinking again. It took me another 1.5 years to get back on the wagon, and some of the worst damage I ever did was during that time.

I will never go back again now. I know if I do, I will lose something very serious. I was lucky not to last time.

I can't tell you what is right for you, but if it's possible to learn from our collective experiences instead of having to go through it yourself, I think you can see there's a theme to these posts.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

eaglesa1a

Hi dbillyd, I don't want to start repeating myself about my loss of having six years of recovery, but if it helps one person I will. I'm usually not strongly opinionated about a subject, but on this one, please get it out of your head. All you are doing is planning your downfall in 65 days. It is so hard to start over, I had to do it at 8 months, then two years, then six years this last time. It is and has to be a forever decision (for me), that can't let it ever be a possibility again. Do whatever it takes to stay strong when that anniversary gets here. After that 1st day into your 2nd year , you'll be glad you made it through the night.

karate

What if you never drank again ,whats that cost?

What if you get back into a bad overdrinking habit?

Whats that cost ?

See post above ,a beer is 2 drinks for me .

karate

You Nailed it!

huntingtontx

Hello dbill, I have 284 days sober, and am loving it. I wonder why you would like to drink again. What are you missing most. The hangovers? Remembering the fuzzy head? High blood pressure? Not remembering what you did the night before? The list goes on. Try making a list of the good thing about drinking on one side of a page and the bad on the other. It sure does not make me want to drink. I already know how I drink, that is why I am here. Good luck to you, and don't take a chance on seeing if you can quit again. What if you can't? A big hug and congratulations on 300 days.

Hope4Life

NO.

I couldn't moderate well during 35+ years of drinking so I would not expect to be able to moderate now. How long were you drinking?

Feeling uncomfortable in social situations is an INVALID reason to throw away a year sober. Have you really considered if those people who are making you feel uncomfortable are 'true friends' or are they just drinking buddies?

Would you hand them the keys to your house, if you needed to get away for a while?

300 days is AWESOME! I hope by the time you make it to your 1 year mark that you have decided against testing yourself. Please remember that Alcoholism is a progressive disease and it has been proven time and time again that each time you try to get sober is MUCH harder than the previous time. Why put yourself through that? Keep reading here at SR as there are many threads that describe the struggle to get sober again after going back out.

What will you really gain by drinking? A DUI? Maybe Liver Cancer? How about a ruined relationship or a fight with another drinker? Seriously.....

Erik721

I had gone well over a year, and because I had reached a goal I had initially set for myself, I had this urge to see what would happen if I drank again. What I learned is that I truly do not know how to stop once I start. That is the truth for me. I'm here because I want to get back on track and not drink. For me it just does not work. I was actually pretty happy sober and didn't really miss it much.