Tetra

All I have heard all my life from my mom is "why can't you be more like your cousin Sally?" Sally is brilliant at everything, school, university, got a brilliant job, then got married...the complete opposite of me in a way...the "Golden Girl" of the family, if you will...I always avoided her for this reason...the comparisons used to drive me mad...

My aunt rang my dad this morning. My cousin Sally had a huge breakdown two weeks ago and has been in hospital for the past two weeks. I know that she was being bullied badly at work...she was very much a "Type A" personality...the high-achieving workaholic...who would push herself with deadlines and multi-task. My aunt told me before that Sally used to drive her crazy. Everything had to be perfect...even on the day of her wedding we waved Sally off in the wedding car...my aunt was going to follow her...after we closed the door on Sally my aunt turned to me, pulled a bottle of brandy out of the drawer and said "at last, thank god she's gone!!!"

Anyway, I am sitting here and I was very sad to hear this. We never know what is going on with other people and how much they are suffering. My lesson has been well and truly learned...things are not always as they seem. I would love to give her a hug if I could and I am truly sorry that she is suffering, as I have been there before.

Tiptree

That's very sad Tetra and I wish your cousin well. It's so true,you just never know what's really going on with people. We all live behind masks to some extent trying to meet other's expectations, real or imagined. All we can do is try to live an authentic life (warts and all) and be kind. I hope your cousin gets safely through this crisis and emerges stronger for it.

ChloeRose63

Don't be sad. There is alot to learn from this and I think you will discover alot about yourself when you step back and see just have fragile we all are and that everyone needs to be handled with care no matter how they portray themselves. There is a scene in the movie "Life or Something Like It" where Angeline Jolie sits down with her "perfect sister" and her perfect sister opens up with the reality that her life hasn't been what it seemed. Good movie if you have not seen it. Hang in there. Your strength and wisdom may be needed. Take care,
♡ CR

seahorse661

It is sad, and I can only imagine what your cousin went through, trying to keep up the pretense of being perfect, and the anxiety she felt knowing that she wasn't coping and all she knew to do was keep trying to keep it together.

A reminder that those who appear to have everything in order, the lives we think would make us happy, are often just as lost as we are.

I hope she can learn to reach out for help, and that nobody will think any less of her if she
is less than perfect.

Jeni26

Why don't you go do that Tetra? Enquire if she's allowed visitors...and if not write her a letter sharing your kindness and compassion for her.

Things are rarely how they seem, and this might be just what she needs right now

Anoronha

Tetra I am sorry to hear that. Sending you hugs and a prayer.