soberlicious

Language is indeed an issue for many. Language is powerful and the language we use with ourselves can drive our behaviors.

dSober

I choose not to get hung up too much on words. Especially here, where, to expand on bimini's point a bit further, I think we need to get busy living or get busy dying.

RobbyRobot

Awesomely well said, Gottalife.

1newcreation

Before I ever heard of aa or knew they I had a problem, I just drank coz that's all I knew! What used to be the norm to me, was not abnormal; now it is. If was to go back, then that's a choice

dSober

I love where you live now 1newcreation. Me too!

ru12

Well, unless someone is holding you down and pouring alcohol down your throat, then drinking is a choice. Even if someone puts a gun to your head and orders you to drink or die it is still a choice. I made the choice to drink alcohol for many years, and eventually I made the choice to stop. It was a behavioral choice. And it was damn hard to choose to stop drinking and recover. But that is what I did. I fundamentally disagree with AA on this matter. I could never have stopped drinking if I believed I was powerless and that drinking wasn't my choice.

jkb

I agree 100%. Thoughts of "I have no choice, I am an alcoholic" kept me drunk. When I DECIDED enough was enough and I REFUSED to let my AV run the show is when I got sober.

I used to promise all the time that I was going to quit drinking. One day when I came home with alcohol my daughter said, "I thought you were quitting" and I will never forget telling her "I decided to quit quitting". It was a hopeless and dark place. I had truly concluded after years of trying to quit that I was "an alcoholic and I could never quit drinking".

Then, through RR I was told I had a choice.... it saved my a**. It was a damn hard choice to make but, I made it.

Jess

dSober

I believe both approaches have their merits as evidenced by the many recovery stories here at SR. It didn't take me long to buy into the Higher Power concept because I had tried many times to stop on my own and came to believe I didn't have the power (or whatever) to do it. I did, however, take me a loooonnnngggg time to find my Higher Power. Much longer than I would have liked.

I never tried the RR route but have recently learned a little about it. My feeling/belief is simple: Whatever works! Ridding oneself, and helping others do the same, of this habit/disease (whatever) is too important for us to quibble over words, methods or anything else. Just git'er done!

IMHO

freshstart57

I count 5 individuals on this thread who claim to have lost the power of choice in consuming alcohol after the first drink, and who then extend this to claim that they can't choose to abstain completely. I find this baffling.

You believe that you can choose to not take that first drink. I think that is where sobriety starts.

huntingtontx

That is a good question. I choose not to drink. I did not choose to be an alcoholic. If I choose not to drink, I don't take the first drink, EVER! That is my choice. No one has held me down and made me drink. Has it been hard at time? Yes! But it is a choice. I come here every day and pledge not to drink. If I have a problem I go to the chat room and get support, or post and get support. You get the picture. What I don't do is take a drink. One drink and I lose. I don't have to worry about anything more then the first drink. I am loving the sober life, and yes, it is a choice. Hang in here with us. You will find lots of support on your journey. I have never been sorry I quit drinking, but was always sorry for being drunk.

GracieLou

I don't think this.

I am powerless over alcohol. That means I cannot control it. Once I have one drink, then I am powerless. There is no stopping after that one, all bets are off.

Having that first one though, that is a choice.

It took me 25 years to understand that it was the first drink that got me drunk. Once I got that I was able to accept it. Then it became so very clear to me that it was a choice and I never realized I had it.

I am a slow learner

Mountainmanbob

we -- if willing really do have to make a decision not to drink anymore

that's where it all starts -- making a firm decision

MM

huntingtontx

[QUOTE=GracieLou;4597641]I don't think this.

I am powerless over alcohol. That means I cannot control it. Once I have one drink, then I am powerless. There is no stopping after that one, all bets are off.

Having that first one though, that is a choice.



I so agree. That is why I say, I only worry about the first drink. I don't take that. NO MATTER WHAT. I lose all my power after the first drink. I love the sober choice. One day at a time, we can do this.

caboblanco

if you can choose to take this first drink...then why can't you choose to take one drink and stop after that or stop after three? this seems to be written in stone in recovery

sorry I just don't know where these rules come from..

was there wide range studies where heavy drinkers were given one drink..then they had to choose between eating for a week or to have more drinks at the time?

can anyone fill me in here.. I just know i had a choice not to have the first drink..and every drink after that...i chose for a long time to drink a ton of booze..a few times a had a few only...though..say at a formal party..I know I was a alcohol abuser though

Dee74

for me I know that after that first drink? everything changed - all bets were off - any resolve I had was gone, and my priorities changed.

That's why I couldn't choose to stop after the 3rd drink, or the 33rd.

I was a locomotive with a head full of steam and no brakes.
I drank til I dropped.

D

caboblanco

For me I didn't really have much stopping me until the doctor's visit so I guess I wasn't a good case study for that theory

dSober

Right now, the thought of that first drink scares me. In the past, sometimes I've been able to stop, other times not so much. I consider it extremely risky. I've found jails and hospitals lousy places to sleep it off.

dSober

P.S. I feel I'm not obsessed with having a drink like I use to be. I want to keep it that way.

RobbyRobot

For me, drinking as a choice was made moot when my alcoholism did the choosing for me. People can and do drink themselves to death. This is not news. To say they chose such ends to their lives freely is naive at best and impossibly dense at worse.

Who here wants to speak for me? Who here wants to tell me that alcohol didn't use me like a dog toy? Who here wants to tell me as I lay there in a blackout in the ditch that I chose to keep drinking?

Right. Plenty of opinions. And that's okay, but it doesn't tell my story of not having real opportunity for free choice on drinking once I started drinking AND once I sobered up either.

Do I have a free choice today to drink or not? Well, I certainly have a choice to raise a glass of vodka and drink it, but since I don't want to die as a drunken hot mess, there is no choice to be made. I can drink it as an alcoholic or I can not, but the days of having a free choice are long gone.

We all have our own experiences. I don't expect others to fully understand mine, but I do expect that if they don't they at least don't expect me to embrace their misunderstanding of something they themselves haven't experienced ie chronic alcoholism.

breath

What others think is none of my business, nor mine theirs; that in itself is a battle, and a choice I learned is aided by a strong spiritual practice. Drinking, addiction is a disease, that's what I think. Now the harder part, it is the only disease that is only self diagnosed, I make that choice, then I choose treatment, or not. If I make the right choice, I find more forms of treatment than I ever could imagine, I choose them, I treat I LIVE. I could choose not to treat it, AND DIE. No different than a person with kidney disease choosing dialysis, or a cancer victim choosing therapy. And you know what else? I think about my treatment options compared to other diseases, and I realize my options are really nice! Then I'm grateful, and just that is a part of my treatment, gratitude that I recognize I have choices and get to choose.