Should I go to a meeting??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Should I go to a meeting??
I've been sober only 1 day today. I've wanted to go to an actual meeting for years but I always chicken out. I don't have anyone willing to go with me so its something I have to do on my own. I'm just scared & not sure what to expect. I'm worried I'll have to tell my story & I may not be ready. I also don't want to go to a meeting in my county in fear that someone may recognize me. I keep coming up with excuses but I really don't know what to expect. There are closed & open discussions or Big book study, Step Study. I'm just not sure which one I need to go to or does it matter. It's took a big step for me to post on here today but something is really telling me to go to a meeting!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 313
If you think a meeting might help, then I would say go 
. I recently started attending meetings for the first time and have really gotten a lot out of them. I'm pretty shy at first, so I was nervous about having to talk...the great thing is that in every meeting I've gone to so far, nobody has made me talk or share anything. Just being there and listening is perfectly fine, especially at first though I have found that the environment is so inviting that now I'm not afraid to speak or share during meetings. I can speak for my experience and say that everyone I've met through AA has been extremely friendly and welcoming...seems like many others have been pleasantly surprised also, from what I've read on these forums. The way I look at it is it can't hurt to try....if it's not for you, at least you can say you gave it a shot! Best of luck to you!!!
. I recently started attending meetings for the first time and have really gotten a lot out of them. I'm pretty shy at first, so I was nervous about having to talk...the great thing is that in every meeting I've gone to so far, nobody has made me talk or share anything. Just being there and listening is perfectly fine, especially at first though I have found that the environment is so inviting that now I'm not afraid to speak or share during meetings. I can speak for my experience and say that everyone I've met through AA has been extremely friendly and welcoming...seems like many others have been pleasantly surprised also, from what I've read on these forums. The way I look at it is it can't hurt to try....if it's not for you, at least you can say you gave it a shot! Best of luck to you!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Thank you for sharing. You atleast gave a me a little of what to expect. I have to remember that in a meeting we are all there for the same reason right? I may be surprised but I guess l'll never know unless I go.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
AA's are the nicest, warmest, most nonjudgmental people you will ever meet and the icing on the cake is they know what it is like to be you. Just let them know it is your first meeting and you don't have to say another word
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
Go. The people there are just like you and have lot's of experience that will be useful. I suggest finding a Chip meeting and picking up your 24 hr chip. It is a powerful bauble you can keep with you to look at whenever you are feeling the urge to drink. The good energy that comes from achieving a milestone will be flowing through the room, I promise you! If there is not a chip meeting then go to a discussion meeting. They usually have a speaker with a story to tell that will resonate with you.
The people at AA meetings won't bite and they will not force you to speak if you do not want to. Just say 'pass' if that is the case. I would encourage you to show up 15 minutes early and not be afraid to say hello and introduce yourself by your first name. You may be surprised just how many people will welcome you.
At my first meeting, I had at least 10 people introduce themselves to me and 1 guy bought me the Big Book ($10!). Everyone really made me feel welcome and like I was meant to be there.
Thanks for the reminder, I think I'll go to the Men's Group meeting tonight!
Remember, what is said in an AA room stays in that room. Do not worry if someone you know is there because they are there for the same reason as you, for support to get and stay sober.
GO!
The people at AA meetings won't bite and they will not force you to speak if you do not want to. Just say 'pass' if that is the case. I would encourage you to show up 15 minutes early and not be afraid to say hello and introduce yourself by your first name. You may be surprised just how many people will welcome you.
At my first meeting, I had at least 10 people introduce themselves to me and 1 guy bought me the Big Book ($10!). Everyone really made me feel welcome and like I was meant to be there.
Thanks for the reminder, I think I'll go to the Men's Group meeting tonight!
Remember, what is said in an AA room stays in that room. Do not worry if someone you know is there because they are there for the same reason as you, for support to get and stay sober.
GO!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 5,229
i didnt go till i was sober a year and i signed up here then the people here encouraged me to go when i really didnt think it was necesary.
I mustered up the courage to go it was no big deal I liked it and realized i was a moron to not go sooner it would have made my battle easier.
I mustered up the courage to go it was no big deal I liked it and realized i was a moron to not go sooner it would have made my battle easier.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
I gotta go along with MIRecovery. Go. There's nothing but support there. Nobody's going to push you into anything. I'd recommend an open speaker meeting. Just listen. I wouldn't worry about anyone recognizing you either. Everyone's there for the same reason. Good luck!
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I imagine there are many folks like you, frightened of going to a meeting and all it might entail. I was like that and I don't think I ever would have got to a meeting under my own steam.
I was fortunate that I called the AA line and was able to spend an afternoon with a recovered alcoholic during which we confirmed I was indeed alcoholic, and that he had a solution that might work for me.
That evening he took me to the meeting, having already explained how it worked and that I did not have to speak if I did not want to. I didn't speak for a number of weeks as it turned out. I couldn't string a sentence together.
I met kind and welcoming people who wanted to help. I knew I was in the right place.
But, for all you recovered folks out there, it was the 12 step call that saved me.
I was fortunate that I called the AA line and was able to spend an afternoon with a recovered alcoholic during which we confirmed I was indeed alcoholic, and that he had a solution that might work for me.
That evening he took me to the meeting, having already explained how it worked and that I did not have to speak if I did not want to. I didn't speak for a number of weeks as it turned out. I couldn't string a sentence together.
I met kind and welcoming people who wanted to help. I knew I was in the right place.
But, for all you recovered folks out there, it was the 12 step call that saved me.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Go.
Going to a meeting is a heck of a lot easier than drinking. It's also a lot easier to be among people who have the same problems you have, than to try to do it alone.
Just give it a try or a few tries or a bunch of tries. Just go.
Going to a meeting is a heck of a lot easier than drinking. It's also a lot easier to be among people who have the same problems you have, than to try to do it alone.
Just give it a try or a few tries or a bunch of tries. Just go.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 190
I've been going. I am really on the shy side when meeting new people, but I've been trying to within the program, going outside your comfort zone can be beneficial. Anyway, I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY felt like drinking tonight. I decided to hit up a meeting. I saw some members from my home group there, and they invited me to go out and get something to eat after. I had a great time. Not only hearing messages that I needed to hear at the meeting, but hanging out with some sober AAs after, chatting and hanging out. It helped me to not drink tonight.
I would recommend it. Like others above said, it would be support for you. It's worth a shot a least. Even if you saw someone you knew there, chances are, they are there for the same problem. And if they've been going to AA for a while, they could help open the door to the program for you, show you some groups they go to, introduce you to people, etc. That was my experience as that ended up happening to me.
I would recommend it. Like others above said, it would be support for you. It's worth a shot a least. Even if you saw someone you knew there, chances are, they are there for the same problem. And if they've been going to AA for a while, they could help open the door to the program for you, show you some groups they go to, introduce you to people, etc. That was my experience as that ended up happening to me.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Go, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What the others shared about AA has also been my experience: you don't have to share and whatever is seen and heard in the rooms stays in the room
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: city of Angels
Posts: 40
hi NJDELLIS, or you can do what i did.. i was in the same situation. until i realized that there were different types of meetings you can attend until you build your confidence up. I initially went to only speaker meetings as i could sit there and listen to everyone's story and hope. I could also get a feel for the places and i think i went to 5 different ones in one week until i found two that i liked. once you start going over and over to the same one, people start remembering you and remembering your name. I was the one sitting quietly at the back of the meeting drinking my coffee and reflecting and thats what i did the first 3 weeks. last week i finally went to a regular meeting..umm well one thats not a speaker meeting for me.. and i didnt have to get up but i think i needed it at that point.. everyone is different, but all i kept thinking is as long as im here and trying im not out and drinking.... one day at a time my friend but please dont lose hope.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Gulf Coast, Florida USA
Posts: 5,731
Meetings are really laid back. You will be met with kindness and compassion. But remember if you don't
raise your hand when they ask if anyone is new , No one will know it is your first meeting.
No one will put pressure on you for anything. Just say your name and that's it. Then folks will welcome
you and make you feel at ease.
Or if you don't want that then just go and don't say a thing.
You will walk out of there with a lot of hope.
raise your hand when they ask if anyone is new , No one will know it is your first meeting.
No one will put pressure on you for anything. Just say your name and that's it. Then folks will welcome
you and make you feel at ease.
Or if you don't want that then just go and don't say a thing.
You will walk out of there with a lot of hope.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 272
The sooner you get to a meeting, the sooner you'll stop wondering if you should try one. 
The first one is the scariest for everyone, but if this something you've been contemplating for years, it's time to solve the mystery!
The first one is the scariest for everyone, but if this something you've been contemplating for years, it's time to solve the mystery!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Procrastination was my downfall as well.
You can look at it this way, if you choose.
If you had cancer, wouldnt you go to the hospital right away and seek treatment? Or would you want to wait, for the right moment, when all the stars lined up, when you felt better, when you didnt have much mental fog, and your best buddy from across the globe came to visit so you could go. This next statement might be a little more advanced, but we work the 12 steps of AA to get better, we dont sit around, waiting, talking, drinking coffee thinking by not working the steps that we get better. We dont get better at all, its been proven to me time and time again, along with countless other members of AA. We work the steps, daily and we drastically improve. If we dont work the steps, most likely and very good odds that we become Dry Drunks. Alcohol has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the problem of Alcoholism. The way we think is totally wrong, it must change, or we die.
If you choose to go with someone, then you have to go to an Open Meeting. A closed meeting is only open to those who are alcoholics.
There are over 100 musts that we MUST do in the 12 steps of AA. And its a program of action. So if you want to hang with the winners, come check it out. Give the tires a kick, and if its not for you there is an unofficial AA guaruntee. The guaruntee is that AA will refund your misery 100 fold. But there is a lot of fun and joy in the fellowship of AA, much laughter, much fun. Once we have recoverd life is great.
You can look at it this way, if you choose.
If you had cancer, wouldnt you go to the hospital right away and seek treatment? Or would you want to wait, for the right moment, when all the stars lined up, when you felt better, when you didnt have much mental fog, and your best buddy from across the globe came to visit so you could go. This next statement might be a little more advanced, but we work the 12 steps of AA to get better, we dont sit around, waiting, talking, drinking coffee thinking by not working the steps that we get better. We dont get better at all, its been proven to me time and time again, along with countless other members of AA. We work the steps, daily and we drastically improve. If we dont work the steps, most likely and very good odds that we become Dry Drunks. Alcohol has nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the problem of Alcoholism. The way we think is totally wrong, it must change, or we die.
If you choose to go with someone, then you have to go to an Open Meeting. A closed meeting is only open to those who are alcoholics.
There are over 100 musts that we MUST do in the 12 steps of AA. And its a program of action. So if you want to hang with the winners, come check it out. Give the tires a kick, and if its not for you there is an unofficial AA guaruntee. The guaruntee is that AA will refund your misery 100 fold. But there is a lot of fun and joy in the fellowship of AA, much laughter, much fun. Once we have recoverd life is great.
Ryno032709
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Concord
Posts: 103
My suggestion is to go to a Speakers meeting. You can show up, sit where you want, you can just listen and you can choose to do more if you feel comfortable but if its your first money than a speaker meeting is probably your best bet.
What are AA meetings? Open/closed? Open just means anyone can come such as alcoholics, addicts, counselors, support groups, etc. and closed doesnt really mean closed as in private they just mean AA only related topics and people outside of AA do not usually attend.
What should you expect at AA meetings? Speaker meetings: previously explained, Speaker/Discussion: same as previously mentioned plus usually the 2nd or last part of meeting is filled with people who attend discussing openly AA related topics, Discussion only meetings: people at meeting openly discuss AA related topics, step study: review and discussion of 12 steps of AA and how it works - usually individual meetings are devoted to one step each meeting, big book: discussion/study of info in the big book such as 12 steps, bills story, how it works, etc.
I went to my first meeting as a speakers only meeting. I was also uncomfortable but i went in sat down listened and left at end without feeling bothered. I kept going back every week and more and more became comfortable with AA and eventually I was comfortable that i made friends.
The important thing is... If you are at a meeting you will be sober and you will be with like minded people that are also sober. Another thing that is important is to keep a open mind at meetings. When I went In the beginning, I only heard the negatives and the differences between me and the speakers. Eventually, i began to see the positives of AA and the similarities I had between the speakers in AA and the problems we shared. All of these things help keep us with a reality that we are alcoholics and we are not alone and things could be worse if we continue to drink.
But most importantly... Take things One Day At A Time let us know how your first meeting goes. Im sure it wont be as bad as you think.
What are AA meetings? Open/closed? Open just means anyone can come such as alcoholics, addicts, counselors, support groups, etc. and closed doesnt really mean closed as in private they just mean AA only related topics and people outside of AA do not usually attend.
What should you expect at AA meetings? Speaker meetings: previously explained, Speaker/Discussion: same as previously mentioned plus usually the 2nd or last part of meeting is filled with people who attend discussing openly AA related topics, Discussion only meetings: people at meeting openly discuss AA related topics, step study: review and discussion of 12 steps of AA and how it works - usually individual meetings are devoted to one step each meeting, big book: discussion/study of info in the big book such as 12 steps, bills story, how it works, etc.
I went to my first meeting as a speakers only meeting. I was also uncomfortable but i went in sat down listened and left at end without feeling bothered. I kept going back every week and more and more became comfortable with AA and eventually I was comfortable that i made friends.
The important thing is... If you are at a meeting you will be sober and you will be with like minded people that are also sober. Another thing that is important is to keep a open mind at meetings. When I went In the beginning, I only heard the negatives and the differences between me and the speakers. Eventually, i began to see the positives of AA and the similarities I had between the speakers in AA and the problems we shared. All of these things help keep us with a reality that we are alcoholics and we are not alone and things could be worse if we continue to drink.
But most importantly... Take things One Day At A Time
let us know how your first meeting goes. Im sure it wont be as bad as you think.
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