New to sobriety. Does the emptiness ever go away?
 

Im new here so I hope im doing this right. I haven't been sober for very long, maybe two weeks or less. The emptiness I feel is soul crushing and I'm trying so hard not to go buy a bottle right now. I keep telling myself no and I hope I listen to myself. I'm on the verge of losing the love of my life and I still can't stop! I have promised my him for years that I'll stop and I never did. He stays hoping and praying that I'll keep my word. I want this so bad, I want to feel happy and whole without having to drink to enjoy life, I never want to hurt the one I love again because of some alcohol fueled rage. Its just so hard not to drink when I feel this terrible feeling of despair and it keeps me up sometimes for over 24 hours. I think tonight I'm just trying to consume myself in happy thoughts of the things that I will gain if I don't drink, maybe I can have my man sing and play guitar for me or something along those lines but I know that happiness will be short lived and I will end up crying at some point (probably multiple times )tonight because I cannot will not drink. There's a voice that keeps whispering "just a few shots he'll never know" but he always knows and even if I was able to sneak it I don't want to I want to be freed from this prison. Does this emptiness, depression and mind consuming feeling of wanting to drink ever fade? Some advice or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

Yes, it will fade. The first two or three weeks are very emotional. You've been numbing all your emotions with alcohol and now you are dealing with life on life's terms.

Please don't pick up that first drink. Do it for you, no one else.

Yes, it does. Have you heard of PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome)? It sounds like you are experiencing some of that. It helps to understand that what you are feeling is normal. Time will heal it. Google PAWS and read what the symptoms are. When I was feeling that way, I was at a loss as to WHAT the heck is going on??? But once I understood, it helped. Not to minimize what is going on bc is just plain sucks, but when you get a cold, your nose is going to run and you're going to cough and feel like crap. Well, while your body is adjusting to NOT having alcohol, your might have compulsion, sweating, crying, euphoria, very active dreams, or dizziness. What you are experiencing, in my opinion, are just symptoms of your body adjusting. Give it time and just hang on. It does get better. . . a whole lot better.

None of us would still be sober if things didn't get better glasschild :)

If drinking was as much part of your life as it was mine, you've very recently lost a major part of your life. Give yourself a little time to get over that.

You will feel better - my life has never been less empty :)

D

Hi Glasschild, two weeks is awesome, some people don't make 2 days. It's even more impressive because you've been struggling. There's no doubt that if you can stay sober it gets easier, but it doesn't have to be such a struggle. There's lots of information on SR about handling cravings.
Do you have any support from professionals or groups like AA? This can make a huge difference to your outlook. I suggest a visit to your doctor would be a good start. Make sure you tell him/her the truth about how much you were drinking (harder than you think!) and how you're struggling now. It feels good to talk it over with someone.
Personally I've found SR to be huge support. I had a few days of sobriety behind me when I started and I'm sure it's kept me on track for 2 years.

Yes hang in there it will get better !

glasschild, it will get soooooo much better! The first few weeks were the worst for me by far.

Think of the happy future you want with your fiancé. That is forever. The current veil of gloom will pass.

I don't know what else you're doing to support your sobriety, but for me regular exercise and healthy eating are key to keeping my spirits up. Tomorrow should be a nice day - maybe try going out for a long walk or a bike ride?

And I know you can do this -- if you made it through this Michigan winter with your sanity intact, you can do anything! :)

Welcome, glasschild. Yes, it will get better, much better - with time.

Be gentle with yourself; take it one day at a time.

Congrats on two sober weeks; that is great progress.

yeah it really does get better when you get to the other side. Hang in there you can do it. just one day at a time.

its not an easy journey but its a journey we all need it. Sometimes the walk around the block does us some good. It was a painful thing for me to go through but I'm happy for it now.

I got to thinking just 20 minutes ago how much happier I am and how I want to solve a couple other problems in my life to make things even happier. I thought about what life could be like if i fix some of these other few things and thought wow how will i ever cope with such a happy exisitence? maybe it hasnt happened yet because i'm not ready for it yet. IE the walk around the block might be doing me some good right now.

Hang in there. Find things to occupy your time and things to distract you if you can.

Thank you all so much. Its crazy how a few words of encouragement can make somebody feel so much better. I'm dealing with this basically by myself as far as family and friends go. I haven't told anybody about my drinking except for my fiance and my sister and I know it will help a lot more once I get it out to my family and I know I need to but its pretty scary. I'm only 22 and I'm kind of ashamed I'm already an addict. I obviously started drinking before my 21st but my family has no clue maybe within the next few days I'll tell them. Thank you again for all the thoughtful words!

Yes the emptiness goes away. Just depends on how quickly you want it to go away. It might never go away.

I'm with you. I'm at 10 days, and while on the one hand it feels good to be sober, on the other I'm really having a hard time fighting the urge to drink. There's definitely a sense of grief (among other feelings). Keep coming here and reading. I know it really helps me to see others who have made it through this and remained sober.

Go to an AA meeting and sit in a room of people that have had the same feelings and gotten through it, listen out for how they did it and take comfort away from the meeting that you are not alone?

This is a common question for all of us. The AA Big Book puts it thus:

"Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you."

And that is exactly how I have found AA.

For me, my emptiness never real subsided until I found my higher power; first by looking outward and then by finally looking inward.

I was only 22 when I quit almost a year ago now. I would suggest reading this forum when you're feeling down and also look into other recovery methods such as avrt, AA etc pick one which appeals to you. Exercise helped a lot for me too. Be easy on yourself you will have good and bad days but in the long run it will continue to get easier for you, and you'll actually like being sober

How are things going today, Glasschild? Praying for you <3

Everything gets better after a while xxxx

Your post really moved me, glasschild. I am 9 days sober and I'm going through those same emotions. Some days will be absolutely wonderful, and the emptiness is in a very tiny corner in the back of my mind. Then hours go by and that emptiness creeps in and gets bigger and bigger and then I get frustrated with myself, confused, and scared. My fiance plays guitar, maybe I should try that next time it happens. Gregory Alan Isakov on acoustic is wonderful, maybe your man could play some for you. Especially the song Amsterdam.

Also I forgot to say, don't ever be afraid to hop on chat, I am on there daily, and when the emptiness gets big, there are people you can talk to.
Much love.