It's Time
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
It's Time
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I've debated about posting on here for months. I've been drinking for many many years & I've tried to quit but I never succeed. In 2012 I quit for almost a year. My fiancé kinda gave me an ultimatum so I quit & I felt great. But slowly I got back sneaking a beer here or a beer there. Pretty soon I was getting drunk again. The past month I've been drunk atleast 3 times where I blacked out & don't remember what I did. I've hurt my fiancé & my 13 year old son numerous times because of my drinking. But somehow I continue to justify taking the first drink. But I never just stop at one, I drink til I pass out. Yesterday I decided to go buy a 12 pack & I thought I could just drink a few & be ok. I ended up drinking 10 atleast & my fiancé & son came home to a drunk yet again! I don't remember a lot that happened but I do know that I was hitting my fiancé & he called my mother & sister to come help. And I was hysterical wanting everyone to just leave me alone. I cussed everyone & really showed my a**! So today I'm left alone with a terrible headache & so many regrets all because I needed a few beer. Me & my son have talked & I've agreed & promised him I would get help. My fiancé won't answer my calls & will probably come back home to pack all his things. He's the one person in my life who has always been there for me thru everything but he's tired of it! I'm so tired of living a life like this. So it's time, FINALLY!! Today is Day 1 of sobriety & I can use any help along the way. Thanks so much for reading!
I've debated about posting on here for months. I've been drinking for many many years & I've tried to quit but I never succeed. In 2012 I quit for almost a year. My fiancé kinda gave me an ultimatum so I quit & I felt great. But slowly I got back sneaking a beer here or a beer there. Pretty soon I was getting drunk again. The past month I've been drunk atleast 3 times where I blacked out & don't remember what I did. I've hurt my fiancé & my 13 year old son numerous times because of my drinking. But somehow I continue to justify taking the first drink. But I never just stop at one, I drink til I pass out. Yesterday I decided to go buy a 12 pack & I thought I could just drink a few & be ok. I ended up drinking 10 atleast & my fiancé & son came home to a drunk yet again! I don't remember a lot that happened but I do know that I was hitting my fiancé & he called my mother & sister to come help. And I was hysterical wanting everyone to just leave me alone. I cussed everyone & really showed my a**! So today I'm left alone with a terrible headache & so many regrets all because I needed a few beer. Me & my son have talked & I've agreed & promised him I would get help. My fiancé won't answer my calls & will probably come back home to pack all his things. He's the one person in my life who has always been there for me thru everything but he's tired of it! I'm so tired of living a life like this. So it's time, FINALLY!! Today is Day 1 of sobriety & I can use any help along the way. Thanks so much for reading!
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: city of Angels
Posts: 40
Welcome Njdellis.. one day at a time. we all have been at that moment when we finally have had enough of the madness. im going on one month sober and did lose my fiancee over my drinking recently..its hard knowing all of this but today im in a bit better place than a month ago.. i honestly believe that all of the lies about quitting i told my fiancee and never held them true killed it for her. i believe they want to see us finally grasp sobriety and sometimes the people we love have to take drastic measures and if things change and we hold our promises true , who knows they might come back but at this point for me at least i just need to keep the promises i make to myself come true...wish you the best and keep coming back.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 509
Thank you! It helps a little just knowing that someone is going thru the same things I am. I'm sorry you lost your fiancé! I'm afraid I'll fall apart if he leaves. And I know I have to do this for myself no matter what happens to me & him. Thanks for your post. Congrats on 1 month sober, wish you the best!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
Welcome. For years, I knew I had to quit drinking, and I tried to do it for everyone else but myself: for my wife, for my kids, for the people I'm responsible for at work, for my parents. . . Once I realized that this has to be for me, as selfish as it felt, things started to click in terms of building some sobriety. I'm sorry things are tough right now, but they can get better, they really can. Again, welcome to SR.
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