brasa

Saturday afternoon I visited my mom in the afternoon while obviously drunk. That same night when I sobered up, she gave me "the talk". Which I shamefully accepted and promised Things would be different.

Last year around the same time she gave me the talk and I quit, with the help of SR only and was sober for 6 months until I made the idiot mistake of going to an all inclusive resort. <- another major embarrassment; knowing I was here on SR a year ago, almost made it and blew it.

Up to the last couple of months I had been drinking in only occasionally, but lately it has been an 3 to 4 times a week (about 1 to 1 1/2 bottle of wine per nightt).

I have a very, very close relationship with my mom... Sometimes too close for my own good and she is very observant of my reactions and on my face when things are off. She was a single mom to both me and my sis, so she watches us like a hawk, to make sure we don't get in trouble. Even now when I'm a 40 y.o. woman leading a pretty successful life (other than drinking, of course).

Fine. I needed an wake up call, but yesterday on my first 24 hours she had to remind me in vivid details how embarrassing and silly I look and behave when drunk. Again this morning when I thought I had forgotten giving her a gift Saturday and said I was about to get it to her, she was quick to tell me " no need. You already gave me, but obviously you were too drunk to remember". I have terrible memory loss when drunk. I have terrible memory loss when drunk.

I had to breath and count to 10 not to ask her to stop reminding me of Saturday drunken visit. I know she means well and thinks that being on my case is her role in my recovery. It did get me in a very sad spot after talking to her.

In one way she makes me accountable, so I have to put up with her passive criticism to continue sober, but on the other hand she makes me feel awful by re-living my latest episode. In don't know if her nag is productive or counter-productive.

Should I let her keep bringing it up and guilty me into daily embarrassment or should I ask her to stop and give me time and room to show her I'm changing?

Any enlightenment is welcomed.

yeahgr8

I would do something about getting into recovery from alcohol first then figure the rest out after you gave done enough work to change.

LBrain

You cannot change another, you can only change yourself.

GracieLou

A living amends is all we can do sometimes but that is down the road. Recovery comes first and that means you may have to be a little selfish and steer clear of mom.

My mother video taped me drunk on several occasions and laughed about it and bought me whiskey every year for my birthday but then called me out in emails telling me I was an alcoholic.

I think she could ignore it when I was not near her but then when I was she would pull out the "these are the things wrong with you" bag and usually when I had already been drinking or feeling like crap the next day.

Mothers are hard to deal with at times. I suggest you stay clear if you can and work your recovery program for a while. Get some sober time and tools to deal with the resentments, it will help in the long run.

sugarbear1

Mom has a point, maybe you DO need to remember Saturday and do something about it so you don't repeat it?

I wish you well on your sober journey!!!

Junegirl

I know I couldn't work on sobriety with someone on my back and I know that shaming rarely works as a motivator. I would say "thanks for the concern. I'm going to work on it but I need space." Change the topic if she continues to go off. Just my two cents.


Junegirl