Anoronha

Last week at work my manager told me to work in speed and being more personable with the customers which I am ok with I welcome constructive criticism I don't seem to be doing a good job I can't make small talk to the customers. Today a coworker older lady pulled me up for the same thing. One of my managers won't talk to me or acknowledge me and I can tell people are wary about me. Right now i can say I am trying my best. I don't know If they like me and I will make the probationary period at this job. This really scares me.

zjw

i face it a lot since I sobered up sometimes my best is not good enough. Not that i advocate failure per say but You allso cant beat yourself up forever. You have to figure out your limitations and live within them. You also have to be happy that your giving your best and realize that not every day is going to be a good day.

Best I can do sometimes is just shrug it off and move forward. If i wallow in the fear and worry it will eat me alive and it generally doesnt accomplish anything but ruining my well being and makes me feel crummy.

I'll go so far as to say I feel irresponsable at times because I shrug stuff off. I'd rather that then sit there allowing it to ruin me with fear and worry etc..

Pipefish

My default setting when I'm in the ISM of alcoholism is fear, and self absorption, and it feels like a very hard shell I just can't break out of. On a really bad day, I can come across as rude...and while I might know, and people who understand (like folk here or in AA) might know that it's a deer caught in the headlights kind of day, the rest of the world, they don't know that. I've been told similar - your tension makes other people tense. Getting out of self is key for me when I slip back into feeling alien to the rest of the world, and I know it is not a nice place to be

Small talk...make eye contact; ask if they found everything they were looking for; ask how someone's day is; comment on the weather; comment in a positive way on their purchase; ask if X item is for a project/a present; say you have one of those and it's proved really useful/good fun;

Anything light and conversational will do, and most people, respond really well to that, and listening to them, I can forget about myself, and even just for a moment, feel like part of the human race again :-)

And for those that don't respond so well, I can know, that at the very least, I made an effort to be friendly and interested, and that their response, is about them, and not me. That's the best I can do, and, genuinely, most of the time, I feel much better for having tried

matt4x4

Couldnt you just move onto another job somewhere else. Perhaps its time to look at your fear, look at yourself and your character defects and shortcomings. There is a program for that, great success rates. Its hard when you are shy, to come out of your shell, I know this. Its best to try to talk to strangers out in public, just start off basic, what time is it, weather chit-chat, move into a news story, get a feel for their body language. This helped me with my shyness, I would walk straight up to women I felt intimidated by and do this kind of talk. It helped. It will help you at your job, on this basic skill set.