karate

I have a bit of depression and low blood sugar .

That's not an excuse , but I know they are the problem .

Nothing bad happened, did not get drunk .

But still , a bit disappointed .

Back on target .

doggonecarl

don't know what to say. Recovery isn't an experiment.

RobbyRobot

Sorry, Karate. Nothing changes if nothing changes. When we drink to feel better, and we quit to feel better, something has to change along the way else feeling better with drink will always win out.

Conditional quits only result in conditional results.

What can you see ahead as being different next time about how you feel about being back on target?

KateL

Hope you get back on track again xxxx

karate

I suspect it's time to reevaluate my life .

I do work too much , not much enjoyment .

I might buy another dirt bike , or resume training .

ScottFromWI

Those definitely sound like good moves from a lifestyle standpoint Karate. None of them directly address your drinking though. You must accept that and deal with it first otherwise none of the other changes matter. You know that too, you just haven't accepted it. My hope is you do someday.

tomsteve

I hope you can see today that, by reading many of your posts, alcohol seems to be a symptom of deeper problems- problems that staying busy with 2 jobs( the anti drink as you called it), controlling how much ya drink, What happens most of the time is I get to feeling bad and stop"( I hope you see, since ya got some depression kickin, that's not the case), getting mad at alcohol, killing the enemy,anti drink drinks,buying "stuff", and all the other stuff you have talked about what has worked for you.....hasn't worked.

karate, there aint nothing wrong with a some humility and tryin what has worked for others, whether it be SMART,AVRT,AA, or any of the other countless methods.

no, getting sober isn't easy. I had a serious battle with cravings and the compulsion. drinking was the only way I knew how to deal with life for many,many years. it took quite a bit of time to get rid of the craving and compulsion.however there was footwork n it for me- much of it was takin a good,honest look at me and what made me tick. then there were the actions. I had to change EVERYTHING there. many times, I had no clue why I had to do things differently, so at them times, I had to act my way into right thinking.

getting sober was a fight and for me very hard. one thing that helped me was my past and seeing everytyhing I had tried before didn't work, so I knew none of that was gona work. but it DID get easier.
staying sober has been quite simple. well worth the fight and finallly getting the humility to admit my way didn't work, then do it another way- a way that helped many others get sober.

its a great day today- a great day to look into what has worked for others.

Sudz No More

That darn Pink Elephant in the room

Nevertheless

Reevaluating your life will certainly help.
But come on. A dirt bike is not going to keep you sober.
Training might help. But ,one sober stretch I had. I started riding my bicycle a couple times a week. It wasn't long before I told myself it was OK to get a six pack after I rode my bike. It was usually 12 to 15 miles. This started in springtime,and by the end of the summer I was riding my bike every evening,and the six pack was a 12 pack. When daylight savings time came around,I could no longer ride my bike. But I was right back to my 12 pack a day habit. I was in pretty good shape though.
I don't know,all I can say is that it is good you keep trying. You have to learn from your mistakes,and remember what went wrong,and not do that next time.
I still don't know exactly how I quit for good. Except that I knew I had enough,and I made it my #1 prioritey. If I thought something was going to trigger me. I didn't do it. (Except for work). There were a lot times I left work gritting my teeth driving by the beer stores (I passed a bunch on the way home). Maybe I had simply had enough.
Keep at it. You will succeed.
Fred

gaffo

I'm closing in on three years since my last beer and I still hate to let my sobriety get complicated by anything. I didn't tie it to my training or my race cars or my marriage or my work. I just concentrated on not taking the drink. I honestly thought it was going to drive me insane for a while. SR was my tool and even though I've never been to an AA meeting I've always felt like they've got my back. There are good people ready to help each other in the honest pursuit of sobriety.

jdooner

.

AnyLengths

karate - your story rings familiar with me.

As long as I considered drinking to be an option in my life, I always eventually exercised that option. Even if I was 99 percent committed to NOT drinking on any given day, the 1 percent would always win when it came to alcohol.

The day I firmly decided that I was going to stop -- no matter what -- was the day I started to get better.

Haven't had a drink in almost 14 years. The things I concern myself with today are far different than what I concerned myself with 14 years ago.

Recovery for me has been about choices. Sure, there has been a lot of work and a lot of meetings, but even today I have a choice (and a wallet with cash, credit cards and ID) about drinking. If I want to drink more than I want to NOT drink ... I'm gonna drink. I'm an alcoholic.

Key to tipping the scales to NOT wanting to drink was believing that the drink was only going to turn out poorly. Even a smart, logic-laden guy like me couldn't deny that every time I took a drink it turned out crappy.

Jade1224

karate,

I was exactly like you a few weeks ago. Very CONFUSED.

Not sure if I was a real alcoholic. I couldn't accept that I was. I felt like calling myself an alcoholic was wrong and unfitting.

I was lost and going back and forth in my mind. Thinking one day I had a problem and then swearing the next day I didn't. All of these people posting here telling you that YOU are an alcoholic were the same people posting on my threads telling me I was too. I just didn't want to hear it or face it.

I, like you, tried to fill my life with other goals. Working out, starting new projects, doing new things... I felt great but I thought it gave me the right to not only drink but to drink MORE. That's not helping the problem its throwing it under the rug.

I hit my own rock bottom in a way a few days ago and it has caused me to reevaluate my life. I realized that I have to seriously address my drinking problem and I think you do too. I don't want you to hit YOUR rock bottom before you realize that you need to stop.

Now I am ready to hear and listen and understand what the other forum members are saying. They know what they are talking about because they have been through it.

Seriously commit to being sober and you will see great changes in your life.

Wishing you the best of luck

karate

I have decided to live life , I'm putting too much thought into this deal .

Going to try recreation , not drinking daily , nor excessive .

I do need a hobby though

tomsteve

"Going to try recreation , not drinking daily , nor excessive ."

completely lost me here. not drinking and not drinking excessively?

Koos

Hi Karate
Try the not daily the not excessive. You already know what the answer will be
If we were in control we could do that indefinitely. Simple we are not in control because we have a disease the name is alcoholism. Nothing to be ashamed of if we accept it.
Accepting is important because the treatment is to be alcohol free nothing else will work
Do this only one day at a time. I think you know where your experiment will take you
Hang in there for yourself

Raider

I think I heard you were going to continue to drink, just not daily or excessively. This thing is extremely hard to stop. For me, continuing to drink would be like taking off the bandaid really slowly. It's gong to hurt, pulling slowly just drug out the pain. Yank it and stop prolonging the pain. That is what works for me. I realize it's different for everyone. Good luck. Your struggle makes me very said indeed.

matt4x4

Those were the exact same words I used, when I was going through the pre-court "look-good-in-front-of-the-judge-so-I-can-get-off-easy" government rehab course. These University Grads basically said, keep busy, get a hobby and you wont want to drink. The best thing in the world, these "university grads" ever did was bring in some AA's to put the ember or spark somewhere deep inside my brain for a future date.

Try it out karate, see if it works. Have you tried controlled drinking yet karate? geographical cures might work? All I know karate is they never worked for me. Good luck in your adventures.

ScottFromWI

I would suggest that thought is all all you have "put into this deal". And that's probably why you haven't been able to stop drinking. SR and a lot of other resources will always be here should you decide to take action.

2muchpain

Karate,

Correct me if I am wrong, but didn't you try controlled drinking in the past, because it sounds to me that that is what you are doing now. If you did this before, why do you insist on going through this painful experience again?