Paladin97

Greetings to all ~~~~~~~~~~~

Just to start out, I am a recovering alcoholic with 7 months sober. This is the second time I have been "on the wagon", the first time I have 7 YEARS sober, and I can't believe that I went down that road again , but I did. It was a shorter period of time, but it was a little more intense than the first time, I actually got a DUI and had a few other problems as well due to the bottle.

During my first long period of sobriety, I did notice other behaviours that mimic alcoholism, I know I am a dyed in the wool drunk. I have some very serious alcoholic genes in my family, father and his mother, so maybe I was 'destined' for this, I don't know ~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I hate alcohol and everything it does to people. I have to avoid it at all costs now, being around it. Not a loss for me ~~

Now I have Problem with opiate pain medication. I had lumbar spinal fusion surgery in 2007, and that was the year I was given pain meds for my back. I used them for about a year, and didn't think I was having a problem with them, then one day I Tried to stop , quit taking them. I was starting to ***k up while I was on them, ding the car, etc, plus my face looked like a ZOMBIE Unfortunately, that face is now on my passport and drivers license, to last for quite a few years ~~~~~~~~~ And low and behold, My body was dependant on them, and I got sick as a dog. I had no real idea that that could happen to me, but it did, and I have been dealing with it ever since. I have detoxed once before, but after a year I went back. I couldn't take it any more. I don't have health insurance !! I work part time with no benefits ~~~~~~~~~~ and it gets worse, but I can't get into it.

I noticed recently that my use of the meds was becoming similar to my use of alcohol. And that is VERY dangerous. I have a couple other meds that I have a tendency to misuse also. Has this happened to any one else out there? I replaced alcohol with pills. And now I am in acute detox and miserable, but I am sick of it. But I thank God every day for keeping the bottle away from me, it makes things so much worse ~~~

Many blessings to all who are out there trying to get sober. Please do it, and believe that you CAN do it. I was a pretty hardcore case, and I have done it twice. ONe day at a time, and with the help of My God ~~~

newwestdork

Smoking is still a problem for me - started relatively late when I was hanging out constantly in bars, then started at home, then quit, and now I'm back on them. Seems to bring out the same compulsive, impulsive behaviour in me.

Even when I'm trying to cut back, it's still surprising how much I reaaally want them.

"Blearg, this makes me feel like crap. [stubs out cigarette halfway through] I'm done with these, enough!"
[five minutes elapse]
"Hm, a cigarette would be nice right now.

Paladin97

DON'T DO IT !!! I work with a cardiologist and am a non smoker. It takes years off your life, even if you quit, there is a back price being paid, believe me ~~~~

newwestdork

Yup, I hear you Paladin. I'm slowly weaning myself back off them - figure I need to try to tackle one demon at a time.

Paladin97

Good idea ~~~~~~~~~~ I am so thankful that I never picked up cigarettes. Do you know anything about withdrawal symptoms from opiate pills? That is what I am going through Right Now ~~~~~~~

But alcoholism is amazing. It tries to come for you at your weakest moments. Sometimes I do think about drinking, feeling like it will make me feel 'better', even on top of the problem I have with vicodin. That would probably kill me, it's killed lots of other people