GracieLou

I don’t think that CAPTAINZING2000 meant to infer that you do not try the F2F amends first.

I think they can both be done. I made amends to my children but it is my living amends that will hold water, not my words.

In some cases people have died so a living amends is all we can do. We cannot tell them in person we are sorry but we can make it better for the people that are still here and that were loved by the person that is gone. The people that remain may get comfort in the fact that their loved one has made a change for the better even if “grandpa, grandma, father, mother, aunt Tilly” is no longer here to witness it.

It is always recommended to go to the person, if possible and make amends. My ex-husband passed away four years ago but I wrote out an amends to him. We still have to attempt to make things right and to get our side of the street as clean as possible.

The idea is to make the amends and then let it go. We don’t shut the door so we can wander back whenever we want and grind on the regrets. We don’t shut the door so we can help others. If we were just to forget or bury it then lest we forget when a newcomer comes and says they did this or that, we need to be able to look through that open door and tell them, we did the same thing and this is what I did to resolve that.

soberbythesea

No, I am over it. Past is past. I am a different person now than I was back then. Alcohol clouded my judgment, and so I gave it up. That was the best thing I could do for myself and for anyone else affected.

Groovitational

Thank you for sharing. I'm struggling with the same thing. It's guilt. Maybe it's a part of the process of sobering up. Yeah those things were done and yeah people who we cared about were hurt/bothered/offended but the fact that there is a good enough conscious in you to recognize that within yourself signifies that in due time, on your own time, it will be corrected. Be patient with yourself. Everyone who you hurt is being quite patient with you. Don't worry. Best of luck and God Bless.

SnoozyQ

God yes ! We wouldn't be normal if we didn't cringe momentarily over our past drinking exploits Midnight.

But they don't define us . We are different people when we drink . That's not who we really are .

It's tKen me a long time to forgive myself , but at almost 8 months sober , I'm learning to like myself again.

Alcohol used to rule us , now we rule it .

It doesn't hurt to have a few bad memories of it , for its the thing that impels us forward and strengthens our convictions .

We NEVER want to go back to where we once were .

Life is good , be kind to yourself .

The fact you have a conscience shows you are a decent person xxx