''One day at a time'' is that really living?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,373
Hey Maxx
For every tale of someone with long term sobriety going back out I can give you at least 5 or 6 cases off the top of my head of people right here on SR not doing that.
Long term recovery is not a gamble.
As long as you never forget what drinking does to you and as long you are prepared to do anything but drink, you'll be fine
If you don't want to relapse - really don't want to - you won't.
As for living one day at a time...until they invent a way where we can live multiple days simultaneously, ODAAT is all anyone can do, alcoholic or not
D
For every tale of someone with long term sobriety going back out I can give you at least 5 or 6 cases off the top of my head of people right here on SR not doing that.
Long term recovery is not a gamble.
As long as you never forget what drinking does to you and as long you are prepared to do anything but drink, you'll be fine
If you don't want to relapse - really don't want to - you won't.
As for living one day at a time...until they invent a way where we can live multiple days simultaneously, ODAAT is all anyone can do, alcoholic or not
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Maxx - I'm coming here from a totally different point of view. When I was born, my mom was 21 and was told she had a "heart condition" and that she would never live to see me turn 10.
I was 29 years old when she died. Her heart condition wasn't defined until about 3 years before she died.
She lived, every day, as it was a gift. When we were talking to the funeral director, our pastor (mom was church secretary) said "she lived 100 years in her 50 years".
It was after her death, and a codependency issue I had (nothing to do with my mom) that I became an addict.
Since being in recovery, I've come to appreciate that each day IS a gift. We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow.
I've got 7 years in recovery, and really don't think about "one day at a time". I focus more on gratitude. FWIW, my first gratitude list I did (only at the urging of dear people here) was said through gritted teeth, and it was "I'm grateful for a soft bed and pillow, as the ones in jail were NOT soft".
I promise you, if you work your recovery, the one day at a time becomes natural. I focus on gratitude. I try to make every day the best I can. I've been through some REALLY rough times, but I keep thinking "just get through today, give it your all" and move forward.
I tell people "I love you" when ending phone conversations or leaving, because that's how I grew up (not realizing mom may not be there the next day). I end the day knowing I've done the best I can.
Do I think of "one day at a time?" all the time? Not really. at least as far as addiction goes. I do, however, think that whether you have an HP or not, gratitude is an every day thing. The more I look for things to be grateful for, the less I think about the "old days".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I was 29 years old when she died. Her heart condition wasn't defined until about 3 years before she died.
She lived, every day, as it was a gift. When we were talking to the funeral director, our pastor (mom was church secretary) said "she lived 100 years in her 50 years".
It was after her death, and a codependency issue I had (nothing to do with my mom) that I became an addict.
Since being in recovery, I've come to appreciate that each day IS a gift. We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow.
I've got 7 years in recovery, and really don't think about "one day at a time". I focus more on gratitude. FWIW, my first gratitude list I did (only at the urging of dear people here) was said through gritted teeth, and it was "I'm grateful for a soft bed and pillow, as the ones in jail were NOT soft".
I promise you, if you work your recovery, the one day at a time becomes natural. I focus on gratitude. I try to make every day the best I can. I've been through some REALLY rough times, but I keep thinking "just get through today, give it your all" and move forward.
I tell people "I love you" when ending phone conversations or leaving, because that's how I grew up (not realizing mom may not be there the next day). I end the day knowing I've done the best I can.
Do I think of "one day at a time?" all the time? Not really. at least as far as addiction goes. I do, however, think that whether you have an HP or not, gratitude is an every day thing. The more I look for things to be grateful for, the less I think about the "old days".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Brooklyn, ny
Posts: 734
I took the mule ride down into the canyon from the north rim. The guide told us to keep the mules close together or they would try to throw us and go back to the corral. Between that and the mules amazing gassy emissions it was pretty BTTW
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
You can live in the present moment, and not be sober ODAAT. If the prospect or even the possibility of drinking again in the future is daunting, then just quit for good. How's that for BTTW? No half measures, no quarter asked or given. BOOYAH.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by jdooner 
I lived anywhere but in the present. I was active.
I used to think I was invincible.
When I was sober I needed to live in the past or future bc I could not stand myself and being with my thoughts.
I had no idea I was not my thoughts and had no idea how to deal with the thoughts that would come into my head.
I used to think I was invincible.
When I was sober I needed to live in the past or future bc I could not stand myself and being with my thoughts.
I had no idea I was not my thoughts and had no idea how to deal with the thoughts that would come into my head.
Exactly. I've been running away from these feeling for years. Built up quite the illusion that I never really had to worry about anything because I always had drinking/ego on my side.
Now that its over, i'm getting butt kicked with all of these emotions. There is quite a few loose circuits in my brain right now - I understand its repairing itself...but my god, its been tough.
As for meditation, i'm moving to a new town at the end of the month. Am going to check into some classes as soon as i'm settled.
This is a 360 degree turn in ways for me to relax, but ill try just about anything at this point. I have to stay sober.
I was never really upset Jdonner, more confused than anything. I was just expecting a different reply..that's all.
Thanks..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by Impurrfect
Maxx - I'm coming here from a totally different point of view. When I was born, my mom was 21 and was told she had a "heart condition" and that she would never live to see me turn 10.
I was 29 years old when she died. Her heart condition wasn't defined until about 3 years before she died.
She lived, every day, as it was a gift. When we were talking to the funeral director, our pastor (mom was church secretary) said "she lived 100 years in her 50 years".
It was after her death, and a codependency issue I had (nothing to do with my mom) that I became an addict.
Since being in recovery, I've come to appreciate that each day IS a gift. We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow.
I've got 7 years in recovery, and really don't think about "one day at a time". I focus more on gratitude. FWIW, my first gratitude list I did (only at the urging of dear people here) was said through gritted teeth, and it was "I'm grateful for a soft bed and pillow, as the ones in jail were NOT soft".
I promise you, if you work your recovery, the one day at a time becomes natural. I focus on gratitude. I try to make every day the best I can. I've been through some REALLY rough times, but I keep thinking "just get through today, give it your all" and move forward.
I tell people "I love you" when ending phone conversations or leaving, because that's how I grew up (not realizing mom may not be there the next day). I end the day knowing I've done the best I can.
Do I think of "one day at a time?" all the time? Not really. at least as far as addiction goes. I do, however, think that whether you have an HP or not, gratitude is an every day thing. The more I look for things to be grateful for, the less I think about the "old days".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
I was 29 years old when she died. Her heart condition wasn't defined until about 3 years before she died.
She lived, every day, as it was a gift. When we were talking to the funeral director, our pastor (mom was church secretary) said "she lived 100 years in her 50 years".
It was after her death, and a codependency issue I had (nothing to do with my mom) that I became an addict.
Since being in recovery, I've come to appreciate that each day IS a gift. We aren't guaranteed a tomorrow.
I've got 7 years in recovery, and really don't think about "one day at a time". I focus more on gratitude. FWIW, my first gratitude list I did (only at the urging of dear people here) was said through gritted teeth, and it was "I'm grateful for a soft bed and pillow, as the ones in jail were NOT soft".
I promise you, if you work your recovery, the one day at a time becomes natural. I focus on gratitude. I try to make every day the best I can. I've been through some REALLY rough times, but I keep thinking "just get through today, give it your all" and move forward.
I tell people "I love you" when ending phone conversations or leaving, because that's how I grew up (not realizing mom may not be there the next day). I end the day knowing I've done the best I can.
Do I think of "one day at a time?" all the time? Not really. at least as far as addiction goes. I do, however, think that whether you have an HP or not, gratitude is an every day thing. The more I look for things to be grateful for, the less I think about the "old days".
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 300
Originally Posted by LBrain
Think the habs would have won the gold if giroux was on the squad?
You know Canada dominates hockey when a player like Claude Giroux doesn't even make the team. The team was stacked!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I found it stunning that I had deceived myself for so long so well. I am like the most interesting man in the world commercials, having lived all over the world from a young age and had many professions degrees businesses while being a warrior by day, literally. I taught my fellow military weapons and using them, to cops, pilots, and base personnel before deployments. I literally lived many more lives than just one. Just name it and I've likely done it to proficiency.
I didn't really notice when I became addicted to alcohol. It was just what I called motion lotion. The last two years I was drinking in the morning to stop the shakes. It took a seven day in hospital detox to give me s jump start, which was all I needed to get out of my self imprisonment.
My first months of sobriety had a continuous string of digestive tract extremes, pink clouds and anxiety attacks which I'd never experienced before.
But I started to realize just how much I had been tap dancing to stay ahead of the realization that nothing mattered to me but drinking. The go go was keeping ahead of what was surely chasing me. My humanity. My normalcy in the human equation. The realization that the bright talent and adventurer I had truly been, was now a has been who could have still been, if I had been, sober.
I was horrified at how I had half azzed the things I was talented in and used to put 100% into. But just because my half azz was impressive yet to others, to some extent I thought I knew what I was like, and still liked what I was.
I had become a coaster in more ways than one. It took two years of sobriety just to fix up the things and feelings I had let slide. My realization that I had been known not as the life of the party but some self satisfied BS artist because what they saw didn't match who I had been, a sobering realization.
I did not struggle. I went through my first six months retired, and just doing s little at a time to bring everything back up to good repair and standards. I don't live one day at a time. I focus, and the calendar pages seem to turn when I look up and wonder where all the time has gone. You see, it has to count for something in the end. You see it never was who I was. Who I am is a function of today. I am no longer afraid of the future. My past is more triumph than tragedy, yet what have I done for myself today? My glory days are gone, unless I count today. And I am no longer afraid of bring me. The way I used to be before alcohol made me run hard to cover my tracks.
No you don't have to live one day at a time. You can live in tomorrow fooling yourself that it will be good or bad. We insure our promises about the future are fulfilled by making it so today. The power of a god resides in our contemplation of a day. I fear my power these days, and dissipate the fear with an act of faith daily to my self.
Live today, for tomorrow we die. At the end, it will seem like it went by in an instant.
See, if you worry about how you are perceived, you will be in the power of perception, your own, or filling a role for another's.
I've found serenity is no fun too, until I am serene enough to enjoy it.
Sorry for the ramble, you see, most of us prefer the illusion to the reality, that we are not anything like the press releases we let alcohol publish without regard for anything but our agenda to be anything except nothing. Sober, we realize we were the only ones reading them, and even then, we knew better.
Life doesn't get better, we do.
I didn't really notice when I became addicted to alcohol. It was just what I called motion lotion. The last two years I was drinking in the morning to stop the shakes. It took a seven day in hospital detox to give me s jump start, which was all I needed to get out of my self imprisonment.
My first months of sobriety had a continuous string of digestive tract extremes, pink clouds and anxiety attacks which I'd never experienced before.
But I started to realize just how much I had been tap dancing to stay ahead of the realization that nothing mattered to me but drinking. The go go was keeping ahead of what was surely chasing me. My humanity. My normalcy in the human equation. The realization that the bright talent and adventurer I had truly been, was now a has been who could have still been, if I had been, sober.
I was horrified at how I had half azzed the things I was talented in and used to put 100% into. But just because my half azz was impressive yet to others, to some extent I thought I knew what I was like, and still liked what I was.
I had become a coaster in more ways than one. It took two years of sobriety just to fix up the things and feelings I had let slide. My realization that I had been known not as the life of the party but some self satisfied BS artist because what they saw didn't match who I had been, a sobering realization.
I did not struggle. I went through my first six months retired, and just doing s little at a time to bring everything back up to good repair and standards. I don't live one day at a time. I focus, and the calendar pages seem to turn when I look up and wonder where all the time has gone. You see, it has to count for something in the end. You see it never was who I was. Who I am is a function of today. I am no longer afraid of the future. My past is more triumph than tragedy, yet what have I done for myself today? My glory days are gone, unless I count today. And I am no longer afraid of bring me. The way I used to be before alcohol made me run hard to cover my tracks.
No you don't have to live one day at a time. You can live in tomorrow fooling yourself that it will be good or bad. We insure our promises about the future are fulfilled by making it so today. The power of a god resides in our contemplation of a day. I fear my power these days, and dissipate the fear with an act of faith daily to my self.
Live today, for tomorrow we die. At the end, it will seem like it went by in an instant.
See, if you worry about how you are perceived, you will be in the power of perception, your own, or filling a role for another's.
I've found serenity is no fun too, until I am serene enough to enjoy it.
Sorry for the ramble, you see, most of us prefer the illusion to the reality, that we are not anything like the press releases we let alcohol publish without regard for anything but our agenda to be anything except nothing. Sober, we realize we were the only ones reading them, and even then, we knew better.
Life doesn't get better, we do.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
One day at a time is meant to encourage people to live in the day, not yesterday or tomorrow. It is also a way of managing your time in the early stages of sobriety to give you enough time to get on with the work necessary to change. Most drunks don't like the thought of never drinking again do we try and get them to break it into bite sized chunks, it's easier to not drink just for one day.
I have only met one person in 5 years who has been struggling with their drinking after 20 years abstinence and I felt so bad for him I wanted to buy him a drink. I would not normally meet these kind of people because they would be isolating big time in an effort to avoid drinking. These people are the smallest minority in the 20 years sober range as they have usually died or had a drink by then, luckily for them.
I'm 5 years sober and alcohol doesn't figure in my life at all but then again I did enough work to change, had I just stopped drinking I would not have gotten very far.
I went to AA because I too was full tilt kind of guy and there are lots of us there:-)
I have only met one person in 5 years who has been struggling with their drinking after 20 years abstinence and I felt so bad for him I wanted to buy him a drink. I would not normally meet these kind of people because they would be isolating big time in an effort to avoid drinking. These people are the smallest minority in the 20 years sober range as they have usually died or had a drink by then, luckily for them.
I'm 5 years sober and alcohol doesn't figure in my life at all but then again I did enough work to change, had I just stopped drinking I would not have gotten very far.
I went to AA because I too was full tilt kind of guy and there are lots of us there:-)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
'One day at a time' is a popular phrase in AA that is popularly mis-used to mean something like 'hang on by your white knuckles and just don't drink today'. Ask anyone who has recovered through the 12 Steps, and this is not at all the reality of their lives, nor is it even a correct usage of 'one day at a time'. I haven't considered or even thought about taking a drink for many many years. Furthest thing on my mind.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1,348
For me, living one day at a time IS a sort of balls-to-the-wall way of living. And I like that phrase, I don't care what anybody else says. Living one day at a time means I'm not moping about yesterday, and I'm not worrying about tomorrow. I'm here, now, present, ALIVE!
I had similar anxious, squirrely feeling on and off for the first 2 years of sobriety. Where's the ACTION!?! Where's the excitement!?! As time went on, I realized I could have plenty of action and excitement in sobriety. It was the drama, I'd grown so accustomed to, that I was missing.
Living, really LIVING, throwing yourself head-first into this life without any substances to dilute it, is the most exciting, balls to the wall thing we can do! All the best to you Max!
I had similar anxious, squirrely feeling on and off for the first 2 years of sobriety. Where's the ACTION!?! Where's the excitement!?! As time went on, I realized I could have plenty of action and excitement in sobriety. It was the drama, I'd grown so accustomed to, that I was missing.
Living, really LIVING, throwing yourself head-first into this life without any substances to dilute it, is the most exciting, balls to the wall thing we can do! All the best to you Max!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
I wish to thank Itchy for that most important report. I had some similar thoughts myself. But I'm not the most interesting man in the world. But pretty close -
What I thought about was this: I have to remodel a room in the house. It needs to be done. I was/am afraid to start doing it because I have never ever done any kind of work like this without having a beer right next to me the entire time. Yes, I can do marvelous work - I am a perfectionist - in a state that the ordinary person would be falling down drunk. SAD but true. Very sad indeed. I have been putting it off. I am putting a lot of things off right now. Because of my great concern/fear that by starting this work I would have an overpowering desire to drink, I have waited. I finally started picking up some supplies. But have yet even begun to think about starting the actual work.
So Maxx, is this the kind of thing you are worried about yourself? I have less than 90 days sober. But I know it will get better. The proof for me is seeing others at meetings and how they have turned around. I may not be there yet, but I know it's going to happen.
Stay strong my friend.
What I thought about was this: I have to remodel a room in the house. It needs to be done. I was/am afraid to start doing it because I have never ever done any kind of work like this without having a beer right next to me the entire time. Yes, I can do marvelous work - I am a perfectionist - in a state that the ordinary person would be falling down drunk. SAD but true. Very sad indeed. I have been putting it off. I am putting a lot of things off right now. Because of my great concern/fear that by starting this work I would have an overpowering desire to drink, I have waited. I finally started picking up some supplies. But have yet even begun to think about starting the actual work.
So Maxx, is this the kind of thing you are worried about yourself? I have less than 90 days sober. But I know it will get better. The proof for me is seeing others at meetings and how they have turned around. I may not be there yet, but I know it's going to happen.
Stay strong my friend.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 224
I think everyone, alcoholic, drunk, sober, happy, sad, whatever should live life one day at a time. However, I will say that I went to two AA meetings and while there, I saw the most miserable people ever. People on here for the most part seem a bit chipper.
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,539
Originally Posted by Crossfitdad
I think everyone, alcoholic, drunk, sober, happy, sad, whatever should live life one day at a time. However, I will say that I went to two AA meetings and while there, I saw the most miserable people ever. People on here for the most part seem a bit chipper.
AlmA
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Marbella Spain
Posts: 714
I struggle with the
"one day at a time" or even worse the "NEVER EVER NEVER??????"
Then the other day my head click...
THE GOOD SIDE OF NEVER EVER:
I will never be in the circle
I will Never have to look for everyday nervous what I am going to take
I will never have to go the market and buy stupid things just to buy a bottle
I will never have to wait in the car until I can drive or sometimes half drive!!!
I will never have my license taken away, or kill someone, or get arrested....
I will never get into a horrible depression and want to kill myself
I will never get aggressive and moody (without a motive!)
I will never hurt my family and friends
I will never have to go to work have gone and hangover or stoned
I will never sped money on s**t
I will never have to hide again or lie
I will Never have to go through a withdraw again
..................
.....................
...............................
And the biggest lecture in my life is LIVING TODAY,
do not waste time thinking about the past or
imagining what the future might or might not bring!
After a while sober you will not even think about a day at a time or Never...
as you already are doing it!
It is worth it...
Best wishes on your recovery
"one day at a time" or even worse the "NEVER EVER NEVER??????"
Then the other day my head click...
THE GOOD SIDE OF NEVER EVER:
I will never be in the circle
I will Never have to look for everyday nervous what I am going to take
I will never have to go the market and buy stupid things just to buy a bottle
I will never have to wait in the car until I can drive or sometimes half drive!!!
I will never have my license taken away, or kill someone, or get arrested....
I will never get into a horrible depression and want to kill myself
I will never get aggressive and moody (without a motive!)
I will never hurt my family and friends
I will never have to go to work have gone and hangover or stoned
I will never sped money on s**t
I will never have to hide again or lie
I will Never have to go through a withdraw again
..................
.....................
...............................
And the biggest lecture in my life is LIVING TODAY,
do not waste time thinking about the past or
imagining what the future might or might not bring!
After a while sober you will not even think about a day at a time or Never...
as you already are doing it!
It is worth it...
Best wishes on your recovery
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by Aiko
And the biggest lecture in my life is LIVING TODAY,
do not waste time thinking about the past or
imagining what the future might or might not bring!
After a while sober you will not even think about a day at a time or Never...
as you already are doing it!
It is worth it...
Best wishes on your recovery
do not waste time thinking about the past or
imagining what the future might or might not bring!
After a while sober you will not even think about a day at a time or Never...
as you already are doing it!
It is worth it...
Best wishes on your recovery
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
One day at a time is also a Buddhist idea, based on the fact, and it really isn't a theory, that we have only the moment.
The past is over and done with. Feeling guilt over the past isn't helpful either, because the guilt is nothing but an obstacle in our personal growth.
And the future? We have absolutely no control over it. We can't determine what is going to happen the next hour, day...week.
We often make the mistake of obsessing about the past or fantasizing or fearing the future and completely miss what is happening right now.
If you see "the now" as utterly boring and miserable, I can offer the consolation that early sobriety can be that way. I hated early sobriety and had to struggle to see the moment for what it really is. My "now" was heavily colored by expectations or darkened by gloom and a true belief that everything was quickly going to hell in a hand basket.
But, that changed, there is hope! I never thought I would be the person I am today.
The past is over and done with. Feeling guilt over the past isn't helpful either, because the guilt is nothing but an obstacle in our personal growth.
And the future? We have absolutely no control over it. We can't determine what is going to happen the next hour, day...week.
We often make the mistake of obsessing about the past or fantasizing or fearing the future and completely miss what is happening right now.
If you see "the now" as utterly boring and miserable, I can offer the consolation that early sobriety can be that way. I hated early sobriety and had to struggle to see the moment for what it really is. My "now" was heavily colored by expectations or darkened by gloom and a true belief that everything was quickly going to hell in a hand basket.
But, that changed, there is hope! I never thought I would be the person I am today.
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
THE STATION
By Robert J. Hastings
TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves
on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the
windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at
crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row
upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and
village halls.
But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a
given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands
playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we
pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're
eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL
Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!"
From that day on we will all live happily ever after.
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly
place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion--it
constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a
history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only
today is there light enough to love and live.
So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today
that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and
fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, "This is
the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more
mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener.
Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we
go along. The station will come soon enough.
By Robert J. Hastings
TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves
on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the
windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at
crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row
upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and
village halls.
But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a
given day, our train will finally pull into the station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands
playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we
pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the station.
"Yes, when we reach the station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're
eighteen. . . win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL
Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nest egg for retirement!"
From that day on we will all live happily ever after.
Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no station in this life, no one earthly
place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The station is an illusion--it
constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a
history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only
today is there light enough to love and live.
So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today
that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and
fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.
"Relish the moment" is a good motto, especially when coupled with Psalm 118:24, "This is
the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more
mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot oftener.
Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we
go along. The station will come soon enough.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Originally Posted by littlefish
One day at a time is also a Buddhist idea, based on the fact, and it really isn't a theory, that we have only the moment.
The past is over and done with. Feeling guilt over the past isn't helpful either, because the guilt is nothing but an obstacle in our personal growth.
And the future? We have absolutely no control over it. We can't determine what is going to happen the next hour, day...week.
We often make the mistake of obsessing about the past or fantasizing or fearing the future and completely miss what is happening right now.
If you see "the now" as utterly boring and miserable, I can offer the consolation that early sobriety can be that way. I hated early sobriety and had to struggle to see the moment for what it really is. My "now" was heavily colored by expectations or darkened by gloom and a true belief that everything was quickly going to hell in a hand basket.
But, that changed, there is hope! I never thought I would be the person I am today.
The past is over and done with. Feeling guilt over the past isn't helpful either, because the guilt is nothing but an obstacle in our personal growth.
And the future? We have absolutely no control over it. We can't determine what is going to happen the next hour, day...week.
We often make the mistake of obsessing about the past or fantasizing or fearing the future and completely miss what is happening right now.
If you see "the now" as utterly boring and miserable, I can offer the consolation that early sobriety can be that way. I hated early sobriety and had to struggle to see the moment for what it really is. My "now" was heavily colored by expectations or darkened by gloom and a true belief that everything was quickly going to hell in a hand basket.
But, that changed, there is hope! I never thought I would be the person I am today.
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