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my poop doesn't stink and you should know that

Old 03-19-2014, 04:32 AM
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my poop doesn't stink and you should know that

Where do people get this attitude from? Is it nature..nurture? is it being part of a a certain social circle? Is it from being told who they are growing up?

you know the people that walk in to a new place and act as the own the place. they would roll their eyes at Einstein and tell him he is wrong..or tell him to be quiet because they are getting a headache.

do you find this attitude rude, annoying, sad..or something else?

do you let people treat you like this or do you give them a piece of your mind?

how does physical attractiveness play into your reaction?
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Old 03-19-2014, 04:37 AM
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I think its much to do about denial. Of course its rude and sad. Anytime people make judge and close their mind thinking its their way or the high way tends to lead to this outcome.

Physical attractiveness...hmm...well, I think people that are blessed with the proper bones structure and symmetry think the World is a better place. I have known some models that used to think everybody got he same treatment as they did. I think this is again a bit of denial. I do believe physical looks plays a role into how people are treated and I for one have been guilty of treating someone who was more attractive better than someone who was not.
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Old 03-19-2014, 04:39 AM
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Hi Caboblanco, it depends what relationship you have with that person. Are they a loved one, a shop assistant, your boss, a co-worker. You can throw the baby out with the bathwater.
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Old 03-19-2014, 05:01 AM
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In my recovery learning process, I picked
up a word called humility. To be humble.
Humble myself. Not to be big, too proud,
boast, cocky, etc.

As a new person walking into a new job,
I came in with that attitude learned to treat
others the way Id want to be treated.

In my case, it didn't work. All the younger
generation in that work place, I thought,
felt intimidated by my kindness. And that
just rubbed them the wrong way. I was
emmediately ousted and felt emotionally
abused.

So, I thought maybe I should grow a pair,
even tho im a women, and fight back, or
stand my ground. Not even that worked.

I also learned in recovery that there are
people more sicker than others and even
tho I am nieve at many things in todays
world, I try to look past their imperfections,
not be judgemental or take their inventories.

Whose to say if those cocky people I
was to work with were not under the
influence of a drug making them behave
the way they were towards me.

I mean, even when I was drinking, no
one ever suspected I had a problem with
it. Anyway.....

I still say, treat others the way you'd
want to be treated and pray for those who
persecute you. Take care of whats more
important in your life today, which is
remaining sober or clean and living a
recovery life with happiness, healthiness
and honesty.
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Old 03-19-2014, 05:38 AM
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I see people who are full of bluster as childlike, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I usually find that someone is stuck and is looking for external validation. Being willing to admit you don't know everything makes us vulnerable, it takes more guts to be porous and open.

I believe there is a lot of predisposition for people to gravitate towards physical attractiveness. Physical symmetry and many of the things we seem to celebrate unwittingly were used since human origins as a way for people to select a healthy mate to procreate with. Time did a great cover story on this years ago. Most Western cultures hold ideals about features that would likely indicate fertileness. It is actually pretty scientific stuff, but does not translate equally from culture to culture. I think physical attractiveness is quickly diminished when it is someone's only asset. While perhaps it grants attractive people a gentler road, I think they can also can fall into the abyss of thinking looks are all they need to bring to the table.

I do wonder if we are more tuned in to seeing narcissism (I guess that is the aspect being discussed) in our own sex or the opposite sex?
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Old 03-19-2014, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by jaynie04 View Post
I see people who are full of bluster as childlike, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I usually find that someone is stuck and is looking for external validation. Being willing to admit you don't know everything makes us vulnerable, it takes more guts to be porous and open.

I believe there is a lot of predisposition for people to gravitate towards physical attractiveness. Physical symmetry and many of the things we seem to celebrate unwittingly were used since human origins as a way for people to select a healthy mate to procreate with. Time did a great cover story on this years ago. Most Western cultures hold ideals about features that would likely indicate fertileness. It is actually pretty scientific stuff, but does not translate equally from culture to culture. I think physical attractiveness is quickly diminished when it is someone's only asset. While perhaps it grants attractive people a gentler road, I think they can also can fall into the abyss of thinking looks are all they need to bring to the table.

I do wonder if we are more tuned in to seeing narcissism (I guess that is the aspect being discussed) in our own sex or the opposite sex?
i don't know if this is exactly narcisism. its more this sense of entitlement I tend to see with people that were born into money or people that are attractive..more often women. its a sort of ignorance

that is stereotyping women i realize. im not talking about people that use their looks as a sort of tool or weapon to advance themselves finacialy or otherwise. I don't even so much blame them for that. its this honest belief that people have that they are so much better then almost 100% of the people on this earth for no valid reason at all.

I was with this couple the other day. they were both fairly attractive. she was no Eva Mendez and he was no Bradley Cooper but you get the picture. They are very wealthy. a few people at this table for lunch were having a light conversation. They weren't being loud or obnoxious at all. A few minutes into into this guy rolls his eyes and says, " can i get a few minutes of silence..please guys I'm getting a headache." Everybody got quiet and didn't say a word. finally said..."do you really have a headache..i have some advil." the guy just rolls his eyes at me. For some reason I wanted to hurt this guy at that point and I'm not in any way a violent or angry guy.

Then the guys girlfriend came over. She looked pissed off to begin with for no apparent reason. anybody who made a joke or comment..she gave them this prima donna dirty look. Im not even kidding you, I locked eyes with her on accident and she gave me a look like why do i have to sit next to scum like you. She looked like something in between lady gaga and kim kardashian.

The thing is sometimes people treat me like this and a certain voice in my head says..look these people are out of your league..just be glad they don't poop in your mouth. I don't know where that voice comes from but it is there mostly because i can't logically figure out how somebody can get an attitude like that unless they truly are so much better.

it was always something that irked me...maybe its an issue with my self esteem..idk
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Old 03-19-2014, 08:49 AM
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I understand this situation quite well. First, I think your feelings come from your own insecurity. I mean this in the best possible way too Cabo. I suffer from deep self hatred and have only recently begun to forgive the kid inside me. This is part of my recovery. I can understand your feelings though and I would use my money and status as a defense but it would be a fake defense and my ego would be bruised and when my ego is bruised I fight or I run (flight). In this process I would usually drink to punish myself too.

Recognize these people are sick. They are the ones that should be insecure not you. This guy is upset bc he lacks control. His control issues manifest in anger. The woman is in pain and hates herself despite her beauty. So its easier for this pain to be projected on you at the table.

That would be my take on the situation. Easier said then done but you are better than these people and I would try not to surround yourself with negative energy!
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:03 AM
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Hmmmmmmm. I would find some other people to lunch with. I thought I might be different until I went to rehab. No I am not any different from any other addict.
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Old 03-19-2014, 09:43 AM
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Very insightful, jdooner!

Love from Lenina
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:05 AM
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I tend to ignore and avoid people whose behavior I find objectionable.
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:08 AM
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From what you've described, sounds like they were treating everyone present as second rate human beings. More fool the people who hang around them on a regular basis.

I really identify too with your "have some advil comment." For me though, this would be born out of people-pleasing, fear, and wanting desperately to make an uncomfortable situation better (for not only do I have power, taking responsibility for that has been my job here on earth ). I have genuinely made myself cringe with behaviour like this in the past - someone else being a complete knob = my job to put it right. Whatever else my job may be, that isn't it. And what I actually wanted to do was go as far away as I possibly could from the whole situation, which is what I'm far more likely to do now. Part of that is, and has been, learning to use my intuition and not even venture down roads that feel familiarly uncomfortable from the get go. They're not really growth situations - they're just pain and discomfort for no gain.

The problem comes I think when the situations aren't optional - as you say 'sometimes people treat me like this' can be a valuable insight into my own conduct around others. A friend and I were talking a few weeks back about comments people make, that we both felt they were unlikely to make with people with a little more inner steel. And that was a valuable insight too, and reminded me of the (possibly over-used) quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that "nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" That inner steel is a really important part of not walking away from situations feeling on the back foot, and it's an under used muscle, but it's getting bigger.

Of the voice in your head telling you 'these people are out of your league" would only say I wouldn't want to be in the league they belong to and they compete on terms I have no interest in. They sound unpleasant, and it really pays to be discerning about the company you keep. Being discerning about who I spend time with is crucial for my peace of mind, and time is after all a precious and limited resource, and is far better spent on people, places and things that are good for the soul. Where I have choice, that's what I choose.

Part of my recovery is learning, and reflecting on when I do and don't do any of the above, and why it may have been in any given situation, that this = didn't go in front of an interaction I had with someone. It's all valuable information.

And go Raider....absolutely spot on. Hope lunch today was more enjoyable

Best to you
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:22 AM
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:44 AM
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"I was with this couple the other day."

Cabo,

What a topic. You just reminded me that I have to get rid of my mirror. It just isn't good enough for me anymore. Fortunately, since my xxxx don't stink, I can still keep my toilet. I'd hate to have a get new one every time I used it.

Not sure how this started. You were with(?) a couple...? Does that mean you know them or have a previous acquaintance? If so, this behavior should not come as a surprise.

I could have married a millionaire who almost caused traffic accidents when she walked down the street. She was smokin! No BS. Daddy had lots of dough, whole family was loaded. She told me she was going to make me a rich man. Problem is that she never told me she could make me a happy man. Fortunately or unfortunately I was able to see as her daughter (HS cheerleader) developed, how this child was becoming exactly as you describe this woman (your lunch lady) to be. Friends couldn't understand why I walked away from this.
But you understand completely. Thanks for reminding me what a great decision I made.

Am I in the right thread?
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:54 AM
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Originally Posted by LBrain View Post
Cabo,

What a topic. You just reminded me that I have to get rid of my mirror. It just isn't good enough for me anymore. Fortunately, since my xxxx don't stink, I can still keep my toilet. I'd hate to have a get new one every time I used it.

Not sure how this started. You were with(?) a couple...? Does that mean you know them or have a previous acquaintance? If so, this behavior should not come as a surprise.

I could have married a millionaire who almost caused traffic accidents when she walked down the street. She was smokin! No BS. Daddy had lots of dough, whole family was loaded. She told me she was going to make me a rich man. Problem is that she never told me she could make me a happy man. Fortunately or unfortunately I was able to see as her daughter (HS cheerleader) developed, how this child was becoming exactly as you describe this woman (your lunch lady) to be. Friends couldn't understand why I walked away from this.
But you understand completely. Thanks for reminding me what a great decision I made.

Am I in the right thread?
this was only the second time i was with that couple. the lunch was business related. i wasn't prepared to be graced by such royalty. if i said something like hey man...do you think your **** doesn't stink..I would probably be looked at as the bad guy or a moron.
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Old 03-19-2014, 10:58 AM
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Old 03-19-2014, 11:30 AM
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Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues.
Confucius

Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence, in the soul in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue except in mere appearance.
Saint Augustine
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Old 03-19-2014, 11:34 AM
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To me, there is nothing more painfully obvious in those types than the extreme insecurity behind the façade.

And Karma makes damn sure that those that believe they are better then everyone, get their just deserts.

Its the Law of the Land and there is no way around that.

Word.
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Old 03-19-2014, 11:42 AM
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The only attitude I worry about is mine. Excuse me while I roll my eyes.
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Old 03-19-2014, 11:47 AM
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@cabo,
word

I get it.
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Old 03-19-2014, 12:02 PM
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Originally Posted by caboblanco View Post
do you let people treat you like this or do you give them a piece of your mind?
I usually ignore them. It's not my problem so I could frankly care less what they think or how they act.
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