existential crisis
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
Originally Posted by KJ14 
Hello Everyone!
I am having a really hard time quitting drinking because of everything that is going on around me. All of my friends are getting married, I am the only single person I know, my job is not allowing me to use my very expensive degrees, and I just feel lost and alone. Nothing positive to look forward to. So why not drink?
I am 28 and I was wondering if anyone remembers feeling a lot of career and relationship pressure at this age. It is TERRIBLE! The most lonely and vulnerable feeling. I don't even have any friends to talk to because they are all too busy with weddings, jobs, kids, etc.
Any advice or shared experience would be really helpful. Thanks
KJ
I am having a really hard time quitting drinking because of everything that is going on around me. All of my friends are getting married, I am the only single person I know, my job is not allowing me to use my very expensive degrees, and I just feel lost and alone. Nothing positive to look forward to. So why not drink?
I am 28 and I was wondering if anyone remembers feeling a lot of career and relationship pressure at this age. It is TERRIBLE! The most lonely and vulnerable feeling. I don't even have any friends to talk to because they are all too busy with weddings, jobs, kids, etc.
Any advice or shared experience would be really helpful. Thanks
KJ
However, Im incredibly unhappy with where I am career wise and feel like an incredible failure in that regard. Also just the overall discontent with what is considered "modern life" . Of course drinking really isnt a solution, we all know that obviously, but...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: CA, USA
Posts: 206
"It is the lack of significant other that is causing me not to be able to give up drinking. I really feel like the only single person in the world, especially on weekends. I don't even have friends to distract me because they are all with their s/o's. So even if i were to quit, i think this feeling would just get much worse. Not sure how to meet people when sober....for dating or friendship. Has anyone experienced this?"
Age 28-31 was the loneliest time of my whole life and I found myself a bit over-concerned with finding a s/o. ( I'm 33 now). But my loneliness contributed to my drinking problem getting even more out of control, and that ended up sabotaging my chances of finding someone in unexpected ways. Plus, a lot of the people I did like were bad for me. It was only when I got healthy (quit drinking, ate better, meditated, exercised, worked less) that things changed. I had also made a decision to stop looking for an s/o entirely. No dating period, just a complete shut down of dating, to focus on me instead and what I wanted to do with my time and my brain space. The whole s/o and dating thing had been too much of a focus and it was really freeing when I let that go. After four straight months of this, I found myself attracted to people who were good for me. And I also found I attracted better people.
Age 28-31 was the loneliest time of my whole life and I found myself a bit over-concerned with finding a s/o. ( I'm 33 now). But my loneliness contributed to my drinking problem getting even more out of control, and that ended up sabotaging my chances of finding someone in unexpected ways. Plus, a lot of the people I did like were bad for me. It was only when I got healthy (quit drinking, ate better, meditated, exercised, worked less) that things changed. I had also made a decision to stop looking for an s/o entirely. No dating period, just a complete shut down of dating, to focus on me instead and what I wanted to do with my time and my brain space. The whole s/o and dating thing had been too much of a focus and it was really freeing when I let that go. After four straight months of this, I found myself attracted to people who were good for me. And I also found I attracted better people.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 138
It can be very difficult when your friends seem to be changing their lives in ways that exclude you, I understand.
I know Boston well, and I think I might have a suggestion: There are tons of volunteer opportunities in the city where you could distract yourself with a good cause and meet like-minded people.
When I was in early sobriety I had to keep busy, keep busy, keep busy...and I think you need to meet a new group of people.
I know Boston well, and I think I might have a suggestion: There are tons of volunteer opportunities in the city where you could distract yourself with a good cause and meet like-minded people.
When I was in early sobriety I had to keep busy, keep busy, keep busy...and I think you need to meet a new group of people.
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