waterscapes

I understand how it is to have a stressful job....I have one. When I was drinking, I couldn't wait to get home and guzzle down a bottle of wine to make the stress "go away"...so I thought. Well, all that managed to do was make me feel like &*%$ in the morning and I would have to go right back into the same stressful situation at work the next day, go home after, drink, repeat.... day after day...I quit drinking in November, the stressful job is still there every day, but I can handle the stress and BS I have to deal with at work so much better without the alcohol. Hope your work situation gets better.

IOAA2

I remember all my self injurious times of drinking caused by poor me, pour me a drink. Didn't fix a thing, I needed to fix me first by taking suggestions of other sober folks. Memorable was " we don't drink even if our azz falls off."

BE WELL

GreenEggsAndHam

I used to drink because I had a stressful job. Then i got a different job and drank because I hated the job. Then I got a different job and drank because I liked the job but hated my co-workers/boss. Then i got a different job and liked everything but the horrific commute home. All were reasons for me to hit happy hour every day.

One thing drinking will not do is make your job, agitation, or stress levels and better from day to day.

SillyString

I disagree. We drink because we love to drink. We drink because we are addicted. We drink because we want the respite, however brief, and no matter the cost. We drink because we're not sure how to stop.

mary5alive

Thanks for the advice everyone. I needed to step back and realize that I need to stop blaming everything else for drinking. My mind is pretty effed up and I still have a hard time making these realizations. I am beyond grateful for my job, don't get me wrong.It's really a pretty cool job and i do enjoy it some times; I just was irate that there are so many people looking for work, and can't get a job, yet there's slackers who do nothing and get paid for it.
My supervisor that night(who is also a good friend that i've made while working there) called me last night and screamed at me, and told me i'm a ****** friend for telling on him. He was writing a paper for the last 2 hours of work that night, and not helping on the floor where he was supposed to be. Basically he said a lot of mean things to me, and i just listened. :/

I told my manager about EVERYTHING, and he was actually really cool about it. I also put in a transfer to a different store, which will take a month.

So sorry for the pity party everyone. It was a rough day, and I felt the need to drink away my sorrows like a moron.

I'm trying now to work on it even harder and not be an idiot. :/

GreenEggsAndHam

mary5alive - most of us have been there! I had a REALLY emotionally painful night a couple of nights ago because someone was hurting me, but I refused to allow that person to be my excuse to drink. It was so hard but it's empowering once you get through it sober. ((hugs)))

Music

If I'm not the person in charge, it's none of my business who does what or how much they do. And, just a reminder. Putting in a transfer isn't the answer either. Don't forget. Wherever you go, you take you with you! If all I work for is a paycheck, I'm only going to be happy one day a week.

sunrise1

Mary5alive, I have a feeling that when you're ready to quit, you'll surprise yourself.

Nonsensical

Glad to see you're in a better place mentally than when you started this thread.

You're NOT an idiot. Part of understanding addiction is understanding that your brain is producing unreliable thoughts. That's really really REALLY difficult to grasp!