Mountainmanbob

It just amazes me that so many have this same attitude as you I went to yet another AA meeting this morning and I think everyone there had a great time you actually maybe missing out on a lot

we have a tendency not to give ourselves a fighting chance

Grungehead

I see the "why's" of getting sober more of an obstacle for you FT than the "how's" of getting sober.

The first time I got sober (1990) I did it primarily not to lose my relationship with my "future ex-wife". I stayed sober for almost 7 years, but I relapsed within a few months after we separated. Until I decided that I wanted to get sober more than I wanted to drink, I found that lasting sobriety was difficult to maintain, and contented sobriety was nearly impossible.

I think when you reach the point that YOU want to get and stay sober for YOU and not for someone else, then you will be successful regardless of the method you use to do so.

Aarryckha

Okay, I don't have anything relevant to say other than as a newbie, thank you for this thread. There is some great insight here.

advbike

I had years of trying and failing and never had a sudden epiphany. I agree with Silent Run, Endgame, Jdooner and a few others that you finally just have to put down the drink. The mental shift will come later - it really will. It's hard to do - our obsessive minds are always looking for an excuse. Mine was always waiting for the "right date" to quit, for crissakes. Coulda waited forever but I finally just decided one hungover morning, looking back on a bunch of really bad (and hugely expensive) decisions, that I had had enough. I just stopped that day and said 'no more". It was a struggle, but I found SR and the wonderful folks here helped keep me on track. I even had a couple of serendipitous events where I had mentally caved but the grace of God stepped in and intervened - gave me a few extra minutes to think it over and choose sobriety.

Lastly, while I did not use AA at first, preferring books and SR, I came to the point where I realized I needed a spiritual solution because my mind continued to create all kinds of havoc, even without the booze. In fact it was worse. The meetings help. This morning I woke up with some fear over something my crazy thinking has gotten me into and I decided to go to a Mens group meeting. The topic? Coping with fear.

It is amazing what will happen if you just let go of it.

zerothehero

I don't know if freethinking is lurking anymore, but the conversation is worthy regardless. A few thoughts:

My greatest risk for relapse could be that my bottom was not terribly low.

I also think people often get hung up on AA because of notions of spirituality, and believing spirituality requires Christian faith or something like it. For me, mindfulness is spiritual and does not require a god (in the traditional sense of the word). I don't go to AA because it is not anonymous where I live.

Also, my last few months before sobriety were, no doubt, a LOT easier than my first two months sober. But, as intense and difficult as life has been recently, I feel like I am really living. REALLY living. I'm like a 50-something teenager on an emotional rollercoaster, and I'm not wearing a belt. I'm excited about life.

I feel like I'm on a learning curve like I haven't experienced since I was an undergrad.

Sobriety takes courage. It takes courage personally, spiritually, and socially.

Raise your swords, friends, and continue the adventure.

This may sound cheesy, but for the first time just now I thought of the Precious ring in Lord of the Rings as alcohol (or other drugs). It has power, it has allure, it draws you in, takes you over, rots your soul, and leaves you squirming in the dark.

Unless you're lucky enough to practice moderation, but hey, I'm beyond kidding myself here.

zerothehero

Oh, and invisible.

Invisible to myself.

Dee74

I felt like this, for many years.

Eventually tho it was bought home to me, in the starkest possible way that drinking would kill me.

I did not want to die so I stopped drinking.

For maybe 3 months I just focused on not drinking. I did not die, and sobriety ceased to be excruciating for me after maybe a week or so.

I was not happy, but I was not sad.
I just was.

Eventually, call it the shock wearing off, call it resignation, call it acceptance, or call it psychic change but I began to live again, and I found joy and meaning again, this time sober.

For me the fear of being sober was a million times worse that the reality of being sober.

It's a leap of faith but it's a leap that those strange sober beings have all made so you know that intellectually at least it's possible.

You can make it now, or you can make it later, but if you want to live, you need to make that blind leap to recovery.

The sooner you make it, the less things of value you lose, FT.

D

tomsteve

On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.

One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change.

There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.

deeker

Originally Posted by freethinking Just curious why? Have you ever tried it ?

archenemy

Hi Freethinking! Only motivation for myself to try and quit drinking was...The Absolute Fact that alcohol controls and owns me. I got sick of trying to scrape up change to be able to buy a lousy half pint booze to cure my withdrawal i woke up with daily. I think too i was completely broke and had no choice.i hope u are doing good Freethinking! Best wishes to U..