alwayssober1

Hello everyone, 65 days sober, but I am a little disappointed.
I wanted to quit drinking because I wanted to get motivation to do something with my life, get a job, get more done etc.....instead of drinking, but the disappointing fact for me is that I still feel unmotivated just like when I was drinking?

I'm not interested in doing anything, everything seems like an effort? Either way I'm not drinking again, but I don't feel any different to when I was drinking.

Is this normal? I'm surprised I don't feel any different?

FeelingGreat

hi, same thing happened to me. I was expecting magic changes; now I've realised that if I want things to be different I have to be the driving force behind it.
If I'd tried while I was still drinking I don't think I would have got anywhere though.

Agricola

What changes have you made other than stopping drinking?

For me, that alone wasn't enough for a systemic change in my life.

tomsteve

"Is this normal?"
If I stopped drinking and didn't do anything to change me- not do anything to put in the footwork to make me and my life better, expect that by stopping drinking my life would suddenly become great, yes I think it would be normal.

jdooner

Sobriety does not equal recovery. If you want to recovery this requires lots of work. Most alcoholics, like the easy way - shortcuts. One thing I have learned about recovery is there are not shortcuts.

Congrats on 65 days.

alwayssober1

Hi, I had a feeling this would happen, my outlook doesn't change, the only change is I am sober.

Stopping drinking is the only change I have made, diet is clean, daily moderate exercise etc.

It isn't so much "making changes" rather wanted "more motivation to make the changes"
Very difficult to make this happen if I feel unmotivated, low energy, depressed, anxious etc, I feel overwhelmed by it all.

I thought these feelings were a physical reaction because of the drinking, sobriety would give me the shove I need to get on with life, turns out it was just me all along!

alwayssober1

Also because there are functioning alcoholics who still get a lot done make me realize the drinking wasn't to blame for me not doing anything with my life, I'm just bone idle anyway.

RaiseAnchor

One of my past expectations of getting sober would be that I would dispose of all bad habits immediately and ultimately become this personal mental manifestation of an awesome human being. Ultimately, I had a lot of relapses when I continued this thought and I was perpetually "starting over".

We are still our individual selves in sobriety, granted, I think we all wake up easier without hangovers. For me I began to make positive changes that felt almost natural. For example, I began running to let off the tension during those times I had cravings. I didn't fault myself for not becoming that "awesome human being" I thought up, right out the door. I just gave abstaining from alcohol my 100% and as time went on I have had a lot of clear-headed days and nights to improve myself.

I can't say that things have necessarily gotten easier in life, but I feel more on top of things when problems do arise.

Don't give up on your own well-being.

Hawkeye13

So this doesn't have to be a life sentence.

Make a plan, start working it.

What are your dreams? What do you love?
What kind of work do you do and want to do?

Make time to help others. This is incredibly helpful for finding direction.

Share what you come up with here and let us encourage you

Nonsensical

Google "anhedonia and addiction". It's not unusual to have some residual lethargy even 65 days after quitting drinking.

Then, start some new habits. Change begets change. Do different things, get different results.

Congrats on 65 days. Keep it going!

alwayssober1

Thanks for your replies, I would be lying if my problems were all down to being sober, I have also been struggling with tinnitus (ears ringing) for 18 months now, been unemployed ever since, scared of loud noises making it worse, which it has done already last year.

No education, the only jobs I can get are working in noisy work places such as factories/warehouses, still living at home in my late twenties with no prospect of getting a job any time soon depresses me.

Can't wear earplugs in loud work places because it makes my tinnitus unbearably loud, I don't know what I'm going to do? Its no fun having to be constantly on guard if such and such noise is going to increase the volume of this screech in my head.

But at least I'm no longer killing myself with the drink.

Bilr44

Late twenties is not too old to get an education. There are grants and scholarships you could apply for to help out. Not to sound harsh or anything but sitting home feeling sorry for yourself won't make things better. Getting active is motivational and just getting started is the hard part.

Dee74

I think in all honestly you need to give sobriety a little more of a go AS. 65 days is great but we drank for years right?

Sobriety's not a magic wand - but it will level out the ground beneath your feet and give you every chance of making your life what you want it to be.

I don't think you're bone idle at all - few people really are.

I think maybe you've relied on the bottle so long for fun, entertain, inspiration....you may have forgotten how to be pro-active...

but you'll relearn

D

alwayssober1

Thanks, your right, I am seriously considering about going back to school, get myself out this rut I'm in. Still plently of working life ahead of me, time to start putting things into action, thanks again.

alwayssober1

Thanks dee, I'm hanging in there whatever happens I'm sticking with it.

seeks

Maybe visit your MD and talk about the depression, might help with the motivation part. BTW I'm 34 and back in college, never too late!

Aellyce

Have you tried to set specific goals after quitting? A plan or structure about what you would like to achieve sober? I think that can help. I had similar experiences in the past even before seriously considering recovery: never got beyond days 2-3 because did not have an underlying drive, what for specifically. Instead of focusing on negative feelings and what you don't have or think you can't have, try to define a set of things that you would be very interested in achieving and arrange your time and energies around those? Might also keep you busy so that you have less time to dwell on other things?

If this does not work for a couple more months, I would also recommend seeing a doctor or therapist.