GraceRecovery

Hi All,

I am praying on these problems and following suggestions but I have been truly struggling this past week. I nearly relapsed yesterday and today and that terrifies me.

I moved to a new city since in my old town I was part of the social fabric and had trouble getting honest in recovery. Here in my new town I have no trouble being honest because it's a larger city and I have the protection of anonymity, but I haven't yet found my people.

Although there are people here who are very kind and fun, I'm not really feeling as though we are peers. We have had very different life experiences. There's nothing wrong with that, but it does dilute some of the quality of the friendship to a degree. I suppose I should give it more time but it's been about a year and a half ....

Granted I spent most of the last year and a half tapering off suboxone so I was pre-occupied, I guess you could say.

I guess I just needed to share where my head's at .... My self-esteem is very low right now and I'm starting to feel depressed for the first time in recovery. I have two months sober ....

Thanks for letting me share ....
Grace

GraceRecovery

Also my sponsor is always too busy to talk to me, and it got to the point where I quit talking to her. This is the second sponsor who has had an aversion to connecting with me and at this point I feel very rejected and dejected in general.

Earlier today I'd made plans to talk to my minister but he was busy talking to other people, so I left. Will send him an email to connect tomorrow ...

I'm turning it over to God and I feel like I have been doing that, with the exception of earlier today when I almost relapsed. I feel really scared, this is a life-threatening illness and today was proof of that ... I feel pretty mortal right now. Wish I had a sponsor to call...

Suggestions welcomed.....
Thank you.......
Grace

Amajorityofone

First and foremost, congratulations!

Sixty days is awesome! Now go do something nice for yourself! Splurge on a new pair of shoes or go get your nails and hair done.
You've earned it!


As for feeling lost and sad, it too, will pass.