Vandermast

hi guys

just have come about to the end of my rehab stay...my partner has held the fort long enough and our collective finances are not real good....I am going back to work asap....what i am having trouble dealing with however is that she seems to resent the fact that i had to even go to rehab....i am four months sober and clean, and willing to get back into life and pitch in....admittedly I have had to be away for a few maybe four months....she is 3 and a bit years sober and I relapsed on pain meds due to a broken neck, then drinking came in, in and out of recovery for two years....I dont blame her for resentments but I had to do what i had to do to get well. twice now in the past week she has belittled me and my efforts....and I am wondering what i am returning to....might have to have a backup plan if things go sour...any thoughts or input would be appreciated...

thanks

v

elihoping

It's ok to be selfish for a while. You need to focus on your recovery. Try not to rise to the bait. Obviously she'll have her resentments but you can't let that sidetrack you. Get to lots of meetings. In time, she'll see that you're serious about your recovery. It can be hard to win back trust from a partner. Just keep on focusing on your recovery and on getting well.

Ps Congrats on 4 months sober!

Johno1967

Congrats on 4 months.
Its going to be hard but I would try to go in with a "This can work" attitude. By considering an option B you are betting on the premise that it won't work out.
Consider how that will make you feel. Is the emotional avalanche of a break up something you want right now. I'd postpone any life-changing decisions until you've let the air clear, you've gone back to work and settled back into your life.

venuscat

Hi Vandermast,

You survived a broken neck. And you got sober again. That is awesome!!!!
I hope your partner can work through any resentments she may have.
It might be something you two have to do together. Or perhaps she does meetings or has a sponsor she can talk to?

It's a time when you need to be patient with each other...
It might take a little while for things to level out at home.

I agree with Johno 100%....go home with a positive attitude.

Love Venus xx

Nonsensical

Communication solves many things. Find a good moment when you are both calm and bring it up. See what she has to say about it.

Dee74

I agree with nons - communciation is very important.

I think a lot of partners would be a little resentful at having to carry the load for a few months - that's simple human nature.

With a little discussion I hope you too can work it out

Vandermast

thanks treasured friends.......I love sr cos you get support and people tell you the truth



v

venuscat

We love you Vandermast!!! ♥

Not sure which day you are going home, but hope it goes well for you. Thinking of you.

V xx

BMel311

In rehab one of the counselors said that there were 3 C's for a successful relationship: Compromise, Commitment, Communication.