I feel I am so controlling in my actions?
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 92
I feel I am so controlling in my actions?
I keep trying to get my ex back even though I know the facts of our lives won't be the best due to certain things in our lives. We broke up after a year and a half and communicated seldom and I took some time off to focus on my myself and my recovery. 2 months later she tells me she is seeing someone. And I kinda lost it there. I really tried to get her back to the point of us talking again as friends and then asking for her back. She says she has moved on, but I can be convincing and we talked for a couple weeks and said to her lets try something again. She says she is considering us together again, but in my heart I know I should let her move on.
I have heard we are controlling in our behaviors. Why? Why can't I just step back and tell her I want whats best for her? I tell myself that but I do the opposite.
Btw, I fell off the wagon over it too. It was a mental state I just couldn't handle, and it became like an obsession to have her back. But I am committed again. I saw my Dr. about it yesterday and back here. Back to trying to get things straight and live happy and healthy like I was doing so good at. I was feeling so good. Can't wait to get back there.
I have heard we are controlling in our behaviors. Why? Why can't I just step back and tell her I want whats best for her? I tell myself that but I do the opposite.
Btw, I fell off the wagon over it too. It was a mental state I just couldn't handle, and it became like an obsession to have her back. But I am committed again. I saw my Dr. about it yesterday and back here. Back to trying to get things straight and live happy and healthy like I was doing so good at. I was feeling so good. Can't wait to get back there.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
I think fear is an underlying factor to a lot of thing - controlling especially.
No one wants to be alone, but letting her fly free also frees you up to perhaps find someone else when the time is right.
D
No one wants to be alone, but letting her fly free also frees you up to perhaps find someone else when the time is right.
D
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,095
Booze has nothing to do with controlling behaviour....anyone can be controlling.
And as far as your ex goes, I have learned the hard way that you can't control other people. If she wants to come back she will, if not, trying to force her to will never work.
And as far as your ex goes, I have learned the hard way that you can't control other people. If she wants to come back she will, if not, trying to force her to will never work.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Originally Posted by Doug39 
Booze has nothing to do with controlling behaviour....anyone can be controlling.
D
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