marshmallows

So I been sober 5 months and I drank tonight. Now all I want to do is carry on getting drunk and go back into my ild habits like self harming. Why do I keep doing this to myself

Dee74

Hi Marshmallows
It's a really vicious cycle isn't it?

The first thing to do is to tip out what you have left...drinking more can only make things worse....it's very easy to slip into old ways that are not good for us, so cut the problem off at the source.

You still have 5 months - noone can take that away from you.

Stick around on SR - post and read as much as you need to.
If you have support elsewhere, use that too

As far as why? I dunno about you but I had to do more than simply stop drinking., I also had to work out some of those underlying issues I drank over.

What other changes did you make to your life?

D

marshmallows

The only other changes I made to my life was getting my flat and basically becoming a recluse. I thought I was doing okay but I had one drink in a pub with my dad because my sister was down and one turned into five.
I thought I was ok but I'm back to square one.

huntingtontx

It is a slip. Just pick up and try again. Being a recluse will not work, you need people. We all do. Are there any aa meetings near you. I will be keeping you in my prayers.

marshmallows

I dont know if I would be welcome at AA and I would ne the youngest person there at 19

Longpasttime

Yes you would be welcome at AA and it already happened, so what really matters is what happens next. Please do what Dee said - We are all with you!

CAPTAINZING2000

By all means try a meeting

least

Anyone who has the desire to stop drinking is welcome at an AA meeting. As for being young, you'd be surprised at who shows up at meetings. People of all ages and from all walks of life. I'd say "go", find a meeting and go to it. The support of the group might help you a lot.

Dee74

Becoming a recluse is probably not the best way to stay sober for most of us.

I think we need to build a sober life we're happy in, one we have no need to escape from.

For most people that means more human contact, not less?

I think AA could be a good option

D

Hevyn

Never give up Marshmallows. You learned something - it never ends with one drink. It always leads us back into trouble. I tried to convince myself I could use willpower to keep from getting drunk, but once that first drink was in my system everything changed. That's why we can't touch it.

I'm glad you posted about what happened. You can get back on track.

KateL

You've done five months, you can do it again xxx

liss74

This time thing does your head In ! We feel so low like we have somehow lost all our hard work because of 1 slip , you haven't but if you keep picking up again and again that's the damage trust me I know I keep doing it. I was sober nearly 10 mths, I picked up and kept picking up don't make the mistake I did cause it's really painful take care and be kind to yourself xxx

marshmallows

Thank you everyone. Feeling a lot better about it this morning. I'm away for a week now at my sisters and I won't drink around my nieces so that will obviously help and when I get home I'm gonna go to an AA meeting, I have found one in the village that I live in

kinzoku

I'm sorry, stay strong my friend.

matt4x4

Did you think that you were cured after 5 months?
You like the chaos, you are used to it.
Well, the good news is you are alive and that there is a way out.
What are you willing to do to change your life for the better?
To live a sober and happy life, both at the same time.