Getbetteragain

Hello everyone! I am new to this site and very much wanting to recover from my Alcoholism. I am in my mid 40s and have been drinking heavily for the past decade. This was a long long "slip" if you want to call it that. I had a decade sober before starting to drink again. Bad decisions..... I am concerned now that I may have given myself a liver problem. I have quit for more than a month twice in the last 4 months. Now, I need it to be total and complete abstinance. I haven't seen my doctor yet but I have been experiencing discomfort and sometimes pain in my right side. I know this forum is not for medical advice. I am not asking for any. I am asking to see if there is hope out there. People who have experienced similar and recovered. I really need hope now. Thanks and I look forward to my time here on the forum. Today I am dry.... Hopefully sober comes soon. The scared is getting to me.

suki44883

Welcome to SR! You have found a place with a lot of support for those who want to stop drinking.

I would suggest that you go see your doctor and be honest with him/her about your drinking and tell them you want to stop. They can do some simple blood tests to check your liver function. The liver is an amazing organ that can regenerate itself so long as it isn't cirrhotic. It usually take a LOT to get to that stage.

There is always hope, so long as we are breathing. You say you are dry, but wouldn't you really rather experience recovery? White knuckling it is very hard. It's much easier if you have a support system. SR is great online support, but most people benefit with some real life, face-to-face support.

Again, welcome to SR. We're here to support you! (((HUGS)))

Raider

Welcome. I would also go to a doctor. Good luck!

Getbetteragain

Thanks for the welcome! It is good to see nice people on here. Years ago I attended AA here close to my home. The people were fantastic! I miss a lot of them. Some have gone on to their afterlife and others are still around. I am unfortunately so ashamed of how I disregarded my years of sobriety I have not been able to go back. I really need to get over this as I know they would benefit from hearing my story and I would for the telling of it. I say I am "dry" because that is all I really am at this point. I have made it a full day and honestly I usually just drank at night only. I can think of twice I drank before noon in the last several years. I have so much to be thankful for and this is how I treat life. I have a problem there is no doubt. The serenity of sobriety will come again. I just have to stay out of the way long enough and let it.

ScottFromWI

I'm about your age and also drank then most heavily in the last decade, to the point of physical dependance. There is absolutely hope for you and you can start today. SR has been a life saver for me, welcome. Regarding your physical issues please see a doc as soon as you can, they can not only help check out your symptoms but help you quit as well.

suki44883

Please know that AA doesn't shoot their wounded. Don't be ashamed to go back. They will welcome you with open arms.

BSwan09

I would also definitely see a doctor. While I am a bit of a hypochondriac in that once I realized I was an alcoholic, I looked up the symptoms of liver disease, brain damage, etc. I started seeing symptoms everywhere.

A trip to the doctor cleared up all my fears about the damage I had done to my liver, kidneys, etc! About the only thing left to worry about is my blood pressure, which should go down with some exercise.

KateL

Welcome Getbetteragain xxx

afloatsober

Welcome and yes there is hope. Lots of it. As others have suggested your doc can help. When i quit i had all of the pains and the yellow eyes, bloating etc.... Nearly 11 months now and physically MUCH improved. Still crazy as a box of frogs tho but working on that with help. Key is support for me. S/R, AA and those bloody steps , and some self care.
Get back to the rooms. I have done it many, many times and always been welcomed. No shame in an alcoholic who drinks again, but getting back and sharing your experience will help you and others.
Be safe and resolute and use your experience to help those still suffering.
Hold your head up mate.
G

Nevertheless

I couldn't have stayed sober without AA. I also went back after a 10 year slip.
Anyone that belongs there knows how hard it is to quit. Being with other people with the same goal does make it easier,as I'm sure you know.
All you have to do is walk back through the door,and grab a chair. They will not bite. They will welcome you. Why not do it tonight?

Fred

oak

Welcome. Hope you find what you need here.

I found this page very helpful (in case you are interested in various self-help groups & websites).
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html

PurpleKnight

I think there's always hope with "complete abstinance", if the body hasn't given up on itself already, it can maybe repair itself to some degree.

What damage that has been done though, it is important to find out to ensure you get the best treatment for it, or simply to give re assurance with the facts rather than speculation.

The most important thing is to then start out on a new path of Sobriety!!

matrac

Sounds like pancreatitis....this is common in alcoholics and it can become very serious requiring hospitalization. Abstinence is the cure

mstrdvr

Welcome to SR. I too had medical issues before becoming sober, mine was my bladder. nearly got to the point of bed wetting. After 21 years of sobriety that no longer worries me, now I just have to "go" more often. Definately go see a Dr.
Good Luck

aasharon90

After spending 28 days in rehab at the
age of 30, a mom, wife, I was so scared
that because of my promiscuious activity
during drinking, I may have contracted a
deadly disease.

So, I made a trip to my physician to have
a full physical, blood tests and then wait
for the results. Then, Thank God, I was
in good health. Whew...!!!

When drinking and under the influence
I did things I am not proud of, but with
a program of recovery, I learned how to
take certain steps to live a healthy, happy,
honest life each day I remained sober.

A clean bill of health does put our minds
at ease so that we can continue working
on our addiction issues, using a program
of recovery to guide us every step of the
way.

Today, I continue to use the tools provide
to us to live sober, physicians to help remain
healthy, Faith to use for spiritual progress.

One Step At A Time.

heath480

Welcome to SR.

Please see your Doctor about your medical problems.

Don't be afraid to go back to AA,they will be delighted to welcome you back.It worked for you before,it will again.

Wishing you well.

Getbetteragain

WOW Thanks for the replies everyone! Although it was too late last night for a meeting here... I am in a rural town and the only meeting is unfortunately on Tuesday nights at 6 I will have to wait a week. It is the meeting I attended long ago. Today I am dry, once again, and I hope to go to bed that way tonight. After doing some reading the suggestion of pancreatitis may be very accurate. I am going to the doc, it will take a couple of weeks and maybe by then things will have calmed down a bit. Once again, you all are awesome with the replies. I just dread the day when my mental crazy stuff starts again as I know it will. I need the armor this place and AA can provide to ward it off. It is like being on autopilot when I need that drink. My mind plans every step of it out and then it is like I watch from afar. Sometime it is like I watch with horror and sometimes with eagerness. WOW how messed up I am..... It is when this madness comes I will need this. Now for some much overdue Big Book time. Have a great day all. I will check back later in the day and most likely be in the chat room a bit. Thanks again! I feel good today. This will be my 2nd 24 hours god willing and I don't get in the way.

matrac

As long as you remain sober, your pain will most likely get better. It's your body's wake up call to you. How lucky we are that it does that!

You can do it!

Climber122

That is a fantastic description of how your mind works, and reminds me of how addiction can function in me as well! May I make a suggestion that has worked for me? (It's also an AA suggestion as you probably know)... Try mindfulness/meditation. Even if you can only find 5-10 mins a day, meditation can help you to recognize the beginnings of a craving as what it is: a thought. Thoughts plants the seeds of our intentions. So by practicing meditation you can learn to "allow" thoughts of an intention to drink to just float away into the ether. Then you can replace them with a mantra like: "I do not plan to drink today." Just a suggestion!

Getbetteragain

Thanks Climber! I will try meditation. Although I really have no experience with it, it is much better than the alternative!