purpleclouded

I just celebrated my first year at the beginning of February. Right before that I found myself falling into an emotional pit which is still holding on to me. I can't seem to find the way out of my "blues".

I just want to be alone.

I started isolating again, missing meetings, not picking up the phone and reaching out to others in AA and with my sponsor. She called me out on everything two nights ago and I had no reasonable explanation I could offer for my behavior.

I can't seem to figure out where this sadness is coming from and it is like my old behaviors ( being secretive, playing "mind games", needing extra attention on my terms) have kicked back into action.

Is this something that others experience around their first year anniversary.

Am I just being fearful that more is expected out of me now and afraid to move forward in my recovery?

I have not drank and have no intentions of drinking today. I am at a loss right now.

Any insight would be appreciated. Thanks

KateL

You sound down in the dumps. What sort of support do you have? Can you speak to your doctor or see a counseller? xxxxx

Climber122

Yes - absolutely! Anniversaries can be strange times. As odd as it may sound you may be mourning the loss of your drinking life. I know I did what you describe for a few anniversaries... - it gets better though. Consider allowing yourself to feel down - it's okay to mourn, and to not necessarily know what's coming next. You have some tools now to help cope with down times - use those - particularly the ones that get you out and about or in the service of others. Call up a friend to see how they are doing, or see if you can do a little volunteer work for an organization this weekend - you will be amazed at how it will snuff out those blues

MrTumble

This might sound a bit mad, but I find that when I'm feeling blue that if I take a high strength Vitamin B complex, that it somehow lifts my mood.

Maybe worth a try, no harm can come of it.