callmemilly

Yeah I can't believe how hard this is. I can't believe I actually have a problem. I mean I thought maybe I did, but somewhere inside I didn't really believe it. But I haven't had a drink in 2 weeks and it has just been a struggle. It comes and goes but definitely on the weekend it has been very hard. Having a drink feels like the only thing that matters.

I try to trick myself in different ways- I like the idea of AV. That voice is just kind of constant in the back of my mind.

I'm going to the gym for a couple hours hopefully that will help, but I have inflamed muscles already so have to be very careful not to injure myself. And that - needing to be cautious about my back- seems to make everything worse and the drive to drink worse. Like the last thing I want to do is take care of myself in any way.

I'm really trying. I signed up for the 24 hour club, go the gym, make a nice dinner, I don't know what else to do.

To be honest I have some liquor here and I know I should toss it but I just can't bring myself to. I keep thinking 'someday'. I can't think about not drinking beyond just one day at a time.

Thanks for reading.

TDInstall

It is extremely hard. I know.

You are right in the middle of the early days right now and you need to hammer through the storm. At times it will feel impossible, but every day you go on, is one day closer you will get to being truly free of alcohol. That day will come, I promise.

It took me about two months before I broke the first stage and the main major hold the addiction had over me. After that it was a case of just forging on through the pain.

You will do it, but it will hurt.

But you WILL do. Force yourself.

JustODAAT

The early days are a particular kind of hard. I found it helpful to really think about how hard it was for me to not drink, to not think about drinking, and what that meant: the difficulty itself was confirmation that I have a problem. If I didn't have a problem, it wouldn't be hard. And then I tried to focus on what I had to gain through sobriety.

I did a lot of reading early on too. Under the Influence is really worth the time.

Keep the faith!

SoberLeigh

One day at a time is just fine, callmemilly. While the "fog" is clearing, the future can be quite blurry. Concentrate on each day; it will get easier.

Randummy

Hey,
This feels like my situation right now. There was something within me that said, "I don't have a problem, I don't need help" but everytime I decline help, something happens which makes me think otherwise. It's my first day off alcohol and I've been warned by my GP that I'll have some detox symptoms but it's not the sweating and anxiety that bothers me; it's just not having the alcohol. I don't even really like the taste. I'd love to chat if we're both online!

matt4x4

thats not a good idea at all having booze around the house when you are trying to stay sober. Why play games like that?

MamaGoat

Dump the all the booze in the house. It's just too easy to say screw it and drink. Then you will finish that and drive to get more. Maybe get picked up for DUI. Maybe kill someone innocent. If you make it back home safe with your stash you will continue to drink. You will do things you regret. You will wake up tomorrow feeling like sh*t and be weaker to staying off the booze. You will feel worse than you do on your worst day sober. Guilt and remorse will drive you to drink again. You have an illness of the mind that tricks you into thinking it will be ok this time. Read the Big Book. It explains your problem and gives you the solution. Start at the beginning of the book. Don't skip around. If you have trouble understanding it then find someone who can help you or buy the Joe & Charlie CD's to listen too. Speaker CD's help me a TON. One day at a time...you are almost through today so don't give up now ((((((hugs)))))

callmemilly

Thanks for the support. I'm feeling better, like the urge has passed. I found that last weekend too, if I can just hang on for a few hours it gets better. I went to the gym, that always helps me, and managed to pay attention to how I felt, so as not to hurt myself. So feeling stronger, healthier.

I don't have a car so driving under the influence has never been a concern for me luckily...

Thanks for the support, hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for the book ideas I'll check it out.

Randummy, take care with your struggle, you can do it, just one bit at a time.

matrac

Find something new to engross yourself in that won't cause muscle pain, but will keep you occupied......a hobby perhaps

least

It took me two or three months before I felt comfortable in my sobriety. By then the cravings had lessened a great deal and I felt so good sober. Give yourself time and good treatment. This should pass with time.




Congrats on two weeks sober!

KateL

You will get there xxxxxxxxxxxx

abcowboy

It's hard to read all the posts, and advice, because no one is wrong! We all have to deal with our demon in our own way, what works for one doesn't mean it works for you... Milly, you found SR, and that's a great thing! So much support and advice! Now, just to apply it to your own life...... simple, but very hard! I keep one beer in our fridge, no one will ever touch it, it is a constant reminder to me never to pick him up again......