bigsombrero

I'm happy with this little thing I've got going here as a sober adult.

Sure, I don't have everything. For example, I don't have a new car. I haven't bought a house. I haven't been promoted to CEO of my company. I haven't built a shelter for disabled iguanas. And I haven't been selected for the one-way mission to Mars yet, either. Yes, yes, I'm working on all of that, but learning how to live life as a sober adult has gotten in the way of some other plans.

Now, as my social circle has expanded, there are some new people in my life that don't know I was in recovery. They're "normies" and I've not chosen to share my history with them. To them, I look like a normal, healthy dude who has the world by the tail. And they are full of unsolicited advice!

How do you folks handle dealing with these outside voices? I am happy with myself for just getting through another day, week, and month SOBER. The other stuff isn't that important to me just yet. How can I let others know this without coming across as defensive or angry? Every time someone says "you know, you should really start contributing more to your 401K" I feel like telling them to go fly a kite!

ScottFromWI

Just say thanks for the advice and move on. Or change the subject. You were most likely getting the same advice when you weren't sober too, you just didn't notice ;-)

Dee74

I get unsolicited advice all the time - I just smile and say thanks.

D

nigey1

Yeh I used to be full of sarcastic and what I considered witty replies.

Now I just take Dee's approach.

JustODAAT

My grandfather had a saying I love: "People throw out all sorts of s--t...doesn't mean you have to eat it." Let it pass you by.

caboblanco

are you interested in making $ 1,000 week selling amazing amway products big?

NoelleR

"...Every time someone says "you know, you should really start contributing more to your 401K" I feel like telling them to go fly a kite!..."

I had to chuckle at this. I worked in customer for quite a while (the graveyard shift), and when the VP of Operations would come in in the morning, we'd always chit-chat for a bit, and he usually managed to insert this little bit-o-fluff into the conversation. Since most of the folks working there were single women with children with no baby daddy in the picture, living paycheck to paycheck, my usual response was (kinda paraphrased here), "Well, pay us more money and we'll see." lolol

Regarding totally unsolicited advice, I usually answer the way my mother always answered.......that when they're older than I am, they can advise me; until then, they can just butt out!

(o:
NoelleR

Nonsensical

Just whip out this formula:

and tell them that based on your assessment of the discounted rate of future cash flows you think the present value of your 401(k) is sufficient. That should terminate the discussion most of the time.

hypochondriac

Tell em to go fly a kite x

I get no end of unsolicited advice too. I have finally, almost decided to ignore the f**kers. I don't have time or the energy to live up to others expectations as well as my own! x

least

I say, "I'll take that under advisement".

silentrun

AAHHH I'm the person telling people to contribute and discussing allocation. I promise to stop from now on.

Gal220

Just wait until you have kids . . . no end to unsolicited advice there! It's like automatically everyone assumes you're stupid.