bigsombrero

Where did the time go? I find myself asking that more and more as I get further on with "living life" in sobriety. This morning I was up at 6am, at work by 7. Met with the boss, went live with a new project. Went to the bank at lunch and met a friend. Had a coffee break at the local cafe. After work I went for a walk, then to FedEx and shipped off some documents, then to the grocery store. All the while on foot/bus/train, I don't have a car. Got to chat with my neighbor, worked on a photography project. Came home and fixed a leaky pipe under the sink. Made some chili for dinner and .......WOAH, it's 9pm!

As an active alcoholic, the days crawled by. I did nothing, except check my e-mail from time to time and sat on the couch. Accomplishments? I'd consider making a beer run an accomplishment, and give myself an extra pat the back if I picked up more booze so that I didn't have to leave the house the next day. Download a movie maybe. I wasn't really living...just sitting on the sideline, wallowing in depression and anxiety. Alone. All I cared about was feeding my addiction, the one thing that I enjoyed doing. And it was killing me.

I'm not even so much proud of my daily routines these days - it's just reality. And this is what "normal people" do every day. It's baffling to think that I was so afraid of this. As an active drinker, it would have taken me 2 weeks to do the things I did today....crazy.

EternalQ

This is very well said. I feel the same. Thanks for posting this.

alphaomega

Again, you inspire me. Thanks for the beautiful testimony of the gift of living sober.

Pipping

I am home sick from work due to flu and I still achieved more than when I was constantly buzzed on wine. Your thread really illustrates the comparison nicely. Your new life sounds pretty good. Well done.xx

Jade1224

I have always been a pretty high functioning alcoholic but i always felt like crap while doing it. Never got enough sleep. Always hungover at work BUT I always went to work! And I always went to college. But maybe because I was so functional I didn't realize had a problem.

Pipping

I was much the same for a long time but eventually the drinking got heavier and the sick days became frequent. My career stalled at the same time my drinking increased and while I participated at work I was not exactly what you would call motivated. I agree that while you are able to work its easy to think you are coping. Looking back I am sure people must have known that I was an alcoholic because my personal hygiene became really lax. I was yawning all the time and would make silly mistakes and thinking about this makes me cringe. The great thing about sobriety is that we never have to feel like this again.

Thepatman

Wow that sums it up pretty nicely. Drinking is a time black hole.