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Tapering down ,with sucess

Old 02-19-2014, 11:24 AM
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Welcome to SR. Are you going to be a regular visitor to SR? Maybe you can start your own thread.

Originally Posted by rainyrecovery View Post
But that's my "moderation" plan: Lots of days with no drinks. A couple of days with some drinks.
Sounds like what your learned in 2+ years of trying to moderate is to change the definition of your drinking...to the occasional binge.
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:37 AM
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Karate...so are you saying you aren't planning on quitting? Just trying to control it?
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:38 AM
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welcome rainy.

it's your first post...I don't people should be unkind or harsh.

but it is probably best to begin your own thread with your philosophy.

And I did not read anywhere that he said he was "binging" he specifically states "a couple of days with SOME drinks"...now if SOME is 10-15, well that's a different story, only you will know.

Karate, I hope you are doing well today and not drinking anything. good luck.
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:43 AM
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Originally Posted by rainyrecovery View Post
I'm new here, so I don't have the same level of experience as the other people responding. I can say that I spent 2+ years trying to moderate, and it wasn't a successful experiment. I even (truthfully) have tracked every drink I've had since back in 2012, so I can tell you EXACTLY what triggers I have and where my moderation would falter. Now I've gone 6 days without a drink and it frankly has been easier than moderating. It's only been 6 days, but I surmise that difference is the forced discipline. Instead of saying, "I'm only going to drink a glass of wine tonight instead of a whole bottle," I'm forced into doing something completely different. So, I go to the gym, read a book, go for a walk, sleep, binge on House of Cards. Anything. No happy hour, booze in the house or dinners out for now.

Now here's the rub. I have a couple of days on the calendar when I know I'll want to have a few beers with the boys. So for me, that's my moderation. I'm not trying to downgrade to "X drinks per day." Instead, I'm going back to what I did when I was happiest in my life. I limited myself to a few days per month when I enjoyed going out and having some drinks. Not total abstinence, but discipline. Breaking the bad habits and replacing them with good ones.

We'll see how many wheels are still on the wagon the week after that first date on the calendar comes around. But that's my "moderation" plan: Lots of days with no drinks. A couple of days with some drinks.
If drinking has become a problem for you....this "plan" will never work. Im sorry...im not trying to be rude....but,....do you think that the problem is that others just haven't ever tried this before?? You sound like an alcoholic who just isn't ready to quit....hope you change your mind...
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Old 02-19-2014, 11:45 AM
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Again.....karate....I hope you are sober today....
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Old 02-19-2014, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by rainyrecovery View Post
I'm new here, so I don't have the same level of experience as the other people responding. I can say that I spent 2+ years trying to moderate, and it wasn't a successful experiment. I even (truthfully) have tracked every drink I've had since back in 2012, so I can tell you EXACTLY what triggers I have and where my moderation would falter. Now I've gone 6 days without a drink and it frankly has been easier than moderating. It's only been 6 days, but I surmise that difference is the forced discipline. Instead of saying, "I'm only going to drink a glass of wine tonight instead of a whole bottle," I'm forced into doing something completely different. So, I go to the gym, read a book, go for a walk, sleep, binge on House of Cards. Anything. No happy hour, booze in the house or dinners out for now.

Now here's the rub. I have a couple of days on the calendar when I know I'll want to have a few beers with the boys. So for me, that's my moderation. I'm not trying to downgrade to "X drinks per day." Instead, I'm going back to what I did when I was happiest in my life. I limited myself to a few days per month when I enjoyed going out and having some drinks. Not total abstinence, but discipline. Breaking the bad habits and replacing them with good ones.

We'll see how many wheels are still on the wagon the week after that first date on the calendar comes around. But that's my "moderation" plan: Lots of days with no drinks. A couple of days with some drinks.
Welcome rainy!
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Old 02-19-2014, 12:56 PM
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Welcome to SR RainyRecovery

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Old 02-19-2014, 01:11 PM
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Bit of a side note, but according to the FDA a binge is defined as consuming 4 or more drinks in a 3 hour period if you are female and 5 or more for a male.
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Old 02-19-2014, 01:19 PM
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Originally Posted by rainyrecovery View Post
......Now here's the rub. I have a couple of days on the calendar when I know I'll want to have a few beers with the boys. So for me, that's my moderation. I'm not trying to downgrade to "X drinks per day." Instead, I'm going back to what I did when I was happiest in my life. I limited myself to a few days per month when I enjoyed going out and having some drinks. Not total abstinence, but discipline. Breaking the bad habits and replacing them with good ones.

We'll see how many wheels are still on the wagon the week after that first date on the calendar comes around. But that's my "moderation" plan: Lots of days with no drinks. A couple of days with some drinks.
Im kind of doing this, semi-planned, semi-relapsing. semi-who-knows-what...

In my perfect world, I would be able to have 3-4 nights a year having beers, wine, champagne. One-off events.

This is kind of happening each time I hit the 90-120 day mark.

But what i'am finding, is that I'm not able to have one night on the sauce and then get right back on the wagon the next day, its more like 1-2 weeks before I stop drinking again.

it also feels a bit risky to be playing with fire, especially as my long term goal is to be free of cravings and the effects of booze.

Right now i'm on 50 days "dry" and glad i'm sober...

I hope I havent kicked my (or anyone elses) AV into gear with that post

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Old 02-19-2014, 01:57 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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im confused. yer tag line says:
My life became less complicated without booze -D74
It's not the last drink that takes you back into hell -it's the FIRST drink
but yer post says:
so its no sweat.
Keeping count at the higher end is hard part ,after you get down to 6 ,its easier ,as you don't forget the amount.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:01 PM
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To Fandy: You ask about my philosophy. Luckily, I've never been a chronic binge drinker to the levels I've read about here, so my story maybe different. Tactically, I'm cognizant of a giant decrease in my productivity, career success, physical athleticism and tolerance of other people during this period of time in which my average drinks per day and days drinking per month have steadily increased to unhealthy levels. But I don't share the AA philosophy that we are powerless. My philosophy is that I have the power to replicate my habits and lifestyle from the periods of my life in which I was truly happy and didn't use alcohol as a crutch to "relax" or "decompress." That means more sports and less drinking. It means enjoying a couple of beers at a ball game, not drinking 4 Jack and Cokes before the game as liquid appetizers. It also means skipping networking events that are an excuse to drink wine on a Tuesday, not scheduling meetings for happy hour, and not taking my laptop to the local pub to work at night. These are all easy habits to stop. They would lead to the first one to three drinks of my night, which would then turn into 4-8 when I got home and played Xbox with a bottle of wine next to me. So I don't anticipate that I'll drink 10 drinks at a ball game the next time I go out. I'll do what I did before - enjoy an evening out with friends, get up (non-hungover) in the morning to play soccer. Happier and more active life = less reason to numb my brain.

To ErikT: There are plenty of places in the world where I can go engage in a debate, and frankly, doing it in an anonymous forum is about the most uninteresting way possible. I'm not going to respond further to your "It will never work" philosophy. My response was to Karate and his view on moderation. I was sharing my thoughts on it for him. I'm not asking you to endorse or follow it. Enjoy your day.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:05 PM
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At the risk of being uninteresting...I am intrigued to know what your take is on the difference between moderation and 'disciplined drinking' Rainy?

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Old 02-19-2014, 02:05 PM
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Ok RR, many people here don't follow the AA philosophy, (myself included).

but most of us have found moderating exhausting and time consuming...which can get obsessive...which means (to me) that we cannot drink normally.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:18 PM
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Originally Posted by rainyrecovery View Post
My response was to Karate and his view on moderation. I was sharing my thoughts on it for him. I'm not asking you to endorse or follow it. Enjoy your day.
Its an open forum here. When I only want to share with a single person, I send a pm. I realise you can't since you don't have enough posts, doesn't change the way things work with open forums though. Anybody can freely comment as they may. I suggest none of us have to wait to be invited or other wise given the go ahead to post our comments. Welcome to SR rainy.

I'm not one who believes I can control when and how I drink if I drink. My experience is those days are well over for me. The journey your taking with your drinking would be delusional for me to do the same. I'm not knocking what your doing, its not me that is looking forward to that next drink, its you, so I hope you can appreciate my comments for what their worth on an open addiction recovery forum.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:28 PM
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Rainy,
I think people here are just trying to save you the time and pain of going through what they went through. Their just trying to be supportive. The point is, very few people can do what you are trying to do. If you can, more power to you and I wish you luck. I don't think anybody here wants your plan to fail. Everybody is just trying to be helpful.
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Old 02-19-2014, 02:58 PM
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I wish you luck trying to control it. How awesome that would be if you can! I've attempted moderation, and after I have my two drinks I promised myself I was allowed to have, I completely forget I'm trying to moderate and the floodgates are open or after the two drinks, I just think what the hell and keep on going. That ship has sailed for me.
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:00 PM
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I have done tapering to avoid withdrawal, not doctor recommended.

It worked but I pulled the plug after a week and completely stopped. Was good for 39 days. Sustaining sobriety is the tricky part for me. And for the new ones don't expect that everything in your life will turn "peachy" after a few weeks. Years of damage require lot's of fixing.

My 2 sents, and not meant as a medical recommendation.

Blessings to all
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:27 PM
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Just a thought Rainy, from what you have described, it sounds like you have just as much fun sober than drunk with no cravings after moderating a few drinks. Why not just live a sober life? Why the need to incorporate alcohol in your life at all?

Idk, but for me whenever I consume alcohol my intention is to get intoxicated. I know that we're all different though.
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Old 02-19-2014, 03:36 PM
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I'm only powerless over alcohol because I can't have just one drink and ,in the earlier days, whilst trying to moderate I would always end up drunk at some point.

I respect people that are not powerless over alcohol and I know lots of people who have power over alcohol and can have a few drinks, obviously they would never say they had a drink problem because they do not. They are what we sometimes call normal drinkers.

I question whether someone who thinks they are not powerless over alcohol but have frequently tried to quit/moderate with numerous failed attempts are thinking straight but that's for them to figure out.
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Old 02-19-2014, 10:41 PM
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Detox and Spin-Dry should be left for the professionals in the medical industry.
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