Insanity
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Insanity
Doing the same thing over and over again expecting diffrernt results.
Once we drink, crazy, unbelievable situations and actions happen. But in all reality its just normal to us alcies. Once it happens more then once, the craziness becomes normal. But our normal, is not normal to regular society.
Insanity is really the fact that the person is sitting there, 100% sober, thinking to themselves that it will be different this time. I can control it, I will have a certain amount, I will have fun this time, nothing bad will happen etc. Then being 100% sober we give into the lie that our brain is telling us. We sit up, get our wallers, walk or drive to the liquor store or bar, get our poison, pay for the poison and consume alcohol. We can control our thinking, we can not control our bodies once we take that drink. The phenomenon of craving starts, it gets stronger and stronger with each drink, until the end of the night you can barely walk, talk, puking your brains out, crawling to the toilet, but its last call, you are out of booze, you want the entire bar or liquor store.
Obsession of the mind the allergy of the body. We can deal with our thoughts, we can not deal with our bodies once consumer booze. We have to change the way we think. A spiritual awakening is required. How does one get that? That is the purpose of the Big Book. A change in the way we think.
Once we drink, crazy, unbelievable situations and actions happen. But in all reality its just normal to us alcies. Once it happens more then once, the craziness becomes normal. But our normal, is not normal to regular society.
Insanity is really the fact that the person is sitting there, 100% sober, thinking to themselves that it will be different this time. I can control it, I will have a certain amount, I will have fun this time, nothing bad will happen etc. Then being 100% sober we give into the lie that our brain is telling us. We sit up, get our wallers, walk or drive to the liquor store or bar, get our poison, pay for the poison and consume alcohol. We can control our thinking, we can not control our bodies once we take that drink. The phenomenon of craving starts, it gets stronger and stronger with each drink, until the end of the night you can barely walk, talk, puking your brains out, crawling to the toilet, but its last call, you are out of booze, you want the entire bar or liquor store.
Obsession of the mind the allergy of the body. We can deal with our thoughts, we can not deal with our bodies once consumer booze. We have to change the way we think. A spiritual awakening is required. How does one get that? That is the purpose of the Big Book. A change in the way we think.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I can relate to that. So often, the morning after when I had the very best reasons for not drinking, I promised myself I would not drink that day.
By 6 that evening, when I was on about my 5th drink, I would remember "I wasn't going to drink that day". But of course, after the 1st drink the damage was done and the cycle repeated.
The thoughts that should have deterred me, (sane thoughts) did not come to mind. I seemed to have no defense against the first drink, I ususally didn't even remember having it. There was a complete failure of the kind of defense that prevents one from putting one's hand on a hot stove.
Where was I to find a defense? Just as you describe, it had to come from a higher power which I found through the 12 steps.
By 6 that evening, when I was on about my 5th drink, I would remember "I wasn't going to drink that day". But of course, after the 1st drink the damage was done and the cycle repeated.
The thoughts that should have deterred me, (sane thoughts) did not come to mind. I seemed to have no defense against the first drink, I ususally didn't even remember having it. There was a complete failure of the kind of defense that prevents one from putting one's hand on a hot stove.
Where was I to find a defense? Just as you describe, it had to come from a higher power which I found through the 12 steps.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 115
I am not doing the 12 steps (I am kind of afraid to admit that on here), but I am doing yoga and deep breathing and regularly reminding myself to be in this moment and no where else. It works so far.
I do a face to face group 2 times a week as well, but its not 12 steps.
And yes I was definitely living in insanity until I stopped. Its pretty cool the sense of peacefulness and self containment I feel most of the time, almost like I have discovered a secret. Weird hey.
I do a face to face group 2 times a week as well, but its not 12 steps.
And yes I was definitely living in insanity until I stopped. Its pretty cool the sense of peacefulness and self containment I feel most of the time, almost like I have discovered a secret. Weird hey.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
Originally Posted by lisatrying 
Its pretty cool the sense of peacefulness and self containment I feel most of the time, almost like I have discovered a secret. Weird hey.
AA works for me, it does not work for everyone. To each his own. I am happy for anyone that can see the insanity and then do something about it. Many do not see the vicious cycle. It took me 26 years to see it.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Originally Posted by lisatrying
I am not doing the 12 steps (I am kind of afraid to admit that on here), but I am doing yoga and deep breathing and regularly reminding myself to be in this moment and no where else. It works so far.
Its pretty cool the sense of peacefulness and self containment I feel most of the time, almost like I have discovered a secret. Weird hey.
Its pretty cool the sense of peacefulness and self containment I feel most of the time, almost like I have discovered a secret. Weird hey.
Maybe you will think about changing your username to something like LisaSucceeding? Onward!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
I feel like I am recovering from the insanity of thinking about alcohol all the time. It ruled my life like an abusive partner until I quit then I thought about it all the time for three months. I thought I was going to lose my damn mind and I only hung on by a thread with faith that it would get better. I tried to concentrate on being strong and proud, channeling my crazy energy into useful projects.
After that three months I was done with the savage insanity of cravings, even while doing things that I always used to w/ beer in hand. After six months or so I really started to feel positive results but still thinking about drinking quite a bit in a more general sort of way. Slowly I started to live the life of a normal non alcoholic person easily without thinking about it once in a while.
After a year I was proud to be an ex drinker and I could finally take the name tag off once in a while, so to speak. My drinking friends got used to me and made their peace with it in one way or another.
Now after two years I have started to notice that I can easily observe the world through the perspective of a sober adult. This is something that I have never done in my whole 48 year life. There is no guarantee whatsoever that it won't make me insane.
After that three months I was done with the savage insanity of cravings, even while doing things that I always used to w/ beer in hand. After six months or so I really started to feel positive results but still thinking about drinking quite a bit in a more general sort of way. Slowly I started to live the life of a normal non alcoholic person easily without thinking about it once in a while.
After a year I was proud to be an ex drinker and I could finally take the name tag off once in a while, so to speak. My drinking friends got used to me and made their peace with it in one way or another.
Now after two years I have started to notice that I can easily observe the world through the perspective of a sober adult. This is something that I have never done in my whole 48 year life. There is no guarantee whatsoever that it won't make me insane.
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