10 beers yesterday , 8 today
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 244
Hi, when I was drinking I was in this pattern unconsciously. I'd drink, go without, drink again and so on. For years. My whole life was built around it. I never wanted to stop or really tried.
Then one day I did something crazy and I said I can't keep drinking. I sopped.
Then I suffered. Weeks of anxiety, pain, turmoil. Then I realised- I'm not in control. I'm hooked.
I have been lucky to be exposed to the extent of my alcoholism at the same time I decided to quit. I'm in a kind of self reinforcing loop at the moment. The worse I feel the bigger a hold alcohol had on me.
I imagine if I slipped and was consciously unable to stop then I would find that very difficult. You have my love, sympathy and best wishes.
Then one day I did something crazy and I said I can't keep drinking. I sopped.
Then I suffered. Weeks of anxiety, pain, turmoil. Then I realised- I'm not in control. I'm hooked.
I have been lucky to be exposed to the extent of my alcoholism at the same time I decided to quit. I'm in a kind of self reinforcing loop at the moment. The worse I feel the bigger a hold alcohol had on me.
I imagine if I slipped and was consciously unable to stop then I would find that very difficult. You have my love, sympathy and best wishes.
My insanity while drinking was that I knew booze made life hell, but I kept finding myself at the bottom of a bottle.
I remember when I had a sober spell, I used to tell myself how awesome I felt. Then, right back to the poison.
I have managed to string together 271 days. Couldn't have done it without AA. Not telling you what to do, just telling you what works for me.
One day at a time.
I remember when I had a sober spell, I used to tell myself how awesome I felt. Then, right back to the poison.
I have managed to string together 271 days. Couldn't have done it without AA. Not telling you what to do, just telling you what works for me.
One day at a time.
As crazy as this sounds , drinking is not disrupting my life like it did before .
I'm actually more concerned with the health effects and cost now .
Drinking would move to a point of life disruption , if left unchecked though
So it's time to check it -again
I'm actually more concerned with the health effects and cost now .
Drinking would move to a point of life disruption , if left unchecked though
So it's time to check it -again
I suggest quitting works best when we stay quit. We can howl at the moon as much as we want about this, that, and the other thing, and when our echoes fade into the night all we have is what we got. When it comes to alcohol, less is more and none is best.
You'll quit eventually, Karate. Change up your game, move the goal posts, make new rules, whatever it takes.
Good to hear its time to check your drinking.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Drinking my pay checks away, sucks. Ending up in the hospital due to drinking, sucks. Going to the penitentiary, sucks. Crippling someone else or myself, or killing someone because of the drink, sucks.
Living a happy and sober life, free of alcohol is not that bad. The brain is just making excuses for you to drink, which is normal. The brain wants you to drink, its the alcoholic mind.
Living a happy and sober life, free of alcohol is not that bad. The brain is just making excuses for you to drink, which is normal. The brain wants you to drink, its the alcoholic mind.
Let everyone here be an inspiration to you. We all have the same addiction -- it's not anything but hellishly, brutally, horrifically difficult for every single one of us. It has never been easy; if it was, we wouldn't be here.
I just come to this forum when I'm feeling daunted by all of it and look at all these people, trying SO hard, never giving up, coming back again and again and think simply this -- if they can do it, so can I.
And so can you.
I just come to this forum when I'm feeling daunted by all of it and look at all these people, trying SO hard, never giving up, coming back again and again and think simply this -- if they can do it, so can I.
And so can you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Here, EH!!!
Posts: 1,337
Call it an insurance program. If I put the work in, keeping paying the monthly fee's it will be worth it, because when the time comes, and it will always come, that one time in a million when the thought comes to mind to drink, or that drink is pushed in front of you, or that coke/dessert/chocolate/entre that you ordered has booze in it. How well did I work it?
You're not a young pup, you have a lot of life experience. Why do you need to understand it? There's plenty of stuff in life I don't understand, I just accept it for the truth that I have available to work with and go from there. Surely you've had the same experience in other situations? This can be hard sometimes, easy other times.
Above is my take on it, others may disagree.
I wish you well, Karate.
FG
Above is my take on it, others may disagree.
I wish you well, Karate.
FG
I really hope you can see that you deserve better for yourself - and that you will become ill if you continue on this path. It's a known outcome. Stopping for good - one day at a time - is the best choice!
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 405
Why do we drink?
We like the effects produced by alcohol.
It changes how we feel.
It also harms us and others.
When the harm outweighs the payoff...
When we fully realize that we are killing ourselves with booze...
When we are able to realize the horrible abuse that we instill on those that love us...
We become willing to seek whatever we can that will solve our problem.
Some of us cannot solve our own problem. We need help.
This help may come in many forms.
Turn to a source of help and take action to change.
Being stuck in a pattern of guilt and relapse can continue for years.
We like the effects produced by alcohol.
It changes how we feel.
It also harms us and others.
When the harm outweighs the payoff...
When we fully realize that we are killing ourselves with booze...
When we are able to realize the horrible abuse that we instill on those that love us...
We become willing to seek whatever we can that will solve our problem.
Some of us cannot solve our own problem. We need help.
This help may come in many forms.
Turn to a source of help and take action to change.
Being stuck in a pattern of guilt and relapse can continue for years.
"As crazy as this sounds , drinking is not disrupting my life like it did before ."
yet
"I'm about burned out drinking again , tired of it already "
reads like it is disrupting yer life on this end.
yet
"I'm about burned out drinking again , tired of it already "
reads like it is disrupting yer life on this end.
I think Big S is onto something Karate.
There's no shame in admitting this thing has you beat.
there's no shame in admitting you can't do this on your own.
There's no shame in looking for, or reaching out for help.
I know because I did all three things, and I saved my life.
I still consider them three of the most manliest things I ever did.
D
There's no shame in admitting this thing has you beat.
there's no shame in admitting you can't do this on your own.
There's no shame in looking for, or reaching out for help.
I know because I did all three things, and I saved my life.
I still consider them three of the most manliest things I ever did.
D
Letting other people give me help probably saved my life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 370
You appear to still be still negotiating, I didn't find success until I stopped negotiating. I weaved in and out of "controlling" my drinking for years, as long as I fought tooth and nail to keep it "in check" I didn't lose control, sooner or later I always did though. Not sure what losing control means to you, but for me one bad night could result in my losing everything I care about. That's a hell of a thing to gamble over the little bit of pleasure alcohol afforded me, which after darn near 4 months without it I realize was nothing more than a place to hide for a few hours. I'm not all better now, but I'm getting better at facing what made me need to escape before.
I'm glad you're still here, you strike me as a guy with enough tenacity to get it done. And I'm sure you will.
P.S. I've mentioned it before, but training is SO much better after a good stretch of sobriety. It's made a huge difference to my focus, energy and endurance.
You need to find a plan other than White-Knuckling every day Karate. I know that's been suggested to you probably dozens of times, but it's obvious you cannot do this alone. Read back through your posts over the months and notice the pattern.
I don't know what method or plan you might use, but you have to do something. Otherwise nothing will change. I wish you the best of luck, but it's going to take more than luck - it will take action on your part. It will also take the admission that you cannot do it without help.
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