malcolmsloan

Ran into an old friend last night. We had many, many drinking episodes together back in the day. Oh,man, the stories. . . One of the kinds of old friends with whom we'd start sharing stories and laughing, then the dark stories would start coming out and things would get wierd. I haven't seen him in years. Turns out he is sober now. Wow. This was such a cool moment. We really didn't elaborate too much on our sobriety, but we did talk a bit. I told him that I was just so glad that it's over, all that madness, all that hurt, all that trying to control something that was wildly out of control. He just nodded and said, "me too."

It was a real powerful moment for me. Yeah, it was cool to run into an old buddy who is now sober, but it almost felt like a spiritual/supernatural moment too, like it was supposed to happen, like someone, something, some energy made it happen. I don't know what it means, but it just felt good.

GracieLou

That is so cool! I am glad you got to experience that

JackieC

I loved reading this. I actually think about this scenario a lot, strangely, just as it happened to you, except in my fantasy, I end up spending a lot of time with this person, sharing our recoveries. I think it's because I am alone so much of the time now because all my friends are out there drinking and carrying on with that life that used to be mine as well. So I envision one of those women that I was (am?) friends with deciding to stop drinking and get sober and how glorious that would be -- to go through it with someone with whom I shared some history. Have a "buddy" as it were.

I believe that WAS supposed to happen to you, without a doubt. Running in to him buoyed you up, reminded you that you are not alone in your battle and that there are kindred souls out there fighting in the same way you are, against the same demons, and making it. It's just amazing.

I have one friend from high school that has gotten sober, about two years ago. We share that history, drinking like crazy in high school, college, beyond into the girls' trips we all took together for years before we had kids. Anyway, I'm getting up my nerve to call her to meet for coffee. What am I afraid of? Why do I need to build my nerve up? She will be nothing but kind and gracious and, I believe, immensely supportive and helpful. At any rate, reading this inspires me to call her and set up the coffee. Thank you for that.

Jackie

KateL

I know exactly what you mean. I have friend just like that, we caught up two years ago... well a bit more than a friend actually Kismet xxx

malcolmsloan

Yeah, Jackie, strangely I have thought about situations like this, kind of in passing, "wouldn't it be cool," kind of thinking. I don't know if we'll strike up a big friendship again, we might, who knows, I'm not closing my mind to possibilities and I have no grand expectations. I'm sort of going with the flow. I'm just happy he's doing okay. Why is it that the deeper I get into sobriety, I just more and more want people to be okay. Is it my compassion coming out? Did years of drinking also dismantle my ability to feel compassion and empathy?

With your friend, heck, like you said, what's to loose? If it doesn't pan out, it wasn't supposed to "be." I say, if you have the idea, follow through, it could be guiding you to something. Or not. Who knows?

Warhawk

You know, I haven't had that run in yet.
What I am struggling with is the run-ins with my old drinking buddies who are still wet. You know, the ones who don't have a drinking problem?
That moment when they say, "We need to go grab a beer sometime!" and I smile, and reply, "Maybe a coffee."
One day at a time...

JackieC

Yeah, I've replied with that "Maybe a coffee" many times in the last two months.
It is one of the most effective friend filters ever. Apparently.